Attorney: Patti LaBelle had bodyguard beat cadet

Lawyer tells jurors singer LaBelle had bodyguard, others beat cadet outside Houston airport
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After Sluggish Start, Summer Concert Season Finishes Strong

At the beginning of the summer, the megastar concert business looked grim — Paul McCartney was sick and had to cancel shows, the Rolling Stones weren’t touring in the U.S., none of the biggest superstar acts from U2 to Madonna were on the road and festivals appeared to be luring away big names such……
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See Jennifer Lawrence, Liam Hemsworth and More in 7 New Mockingjay Movie Pics!

The Hunger Gamer: Mocking Jay, Part 1A bevy of new Hunger Games: Mockingjay—Part 1 movie pics are here!

Seven new stills from the highly anticipated flick have hit the web to get fans excited.

Jennifer…


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Jewel Talks Public Housing, Homelessness & Miley Cyrus’ VMAs Date

It’s been almost 20 years since Jewel’s iconic debut, Pieces of You, introduced the world to her singular talent. But the singer-songwriter hasn’t…
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An Eye Makeup Shortcut to Sexiness, Right This Way

There are different kinds of smoky eyes. Edgy. Ladylike. Goddess-y. And sexy. That last category is the one Jessica Szohr went for at the Two Night Stand Los Angeles premiere and I think you need…







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Suki Waterhouse’s Boho Braids and Slept-In Waves: How to Weave a Trend into Your Trademark Look

Suki Waterhouse

From the slicked-back fishtails at Suno in New York to the pixie-dusted buns at Phoebe English in London, the braids of Fashion Week have been as dreamy as they are maddeningly difficult to achieve without a trip to the salon. Leave it to the eternally bedheaded Suki Waterhouse to bring a conceptual style down to earth. Spotted at a party in London last night, the Burberry muse brought intrigue to her signature slept-in waves and choppy fringe with a few skinny plaits that peeked out from behind her ears. Paired with a thick, sixties swoosh of liquid liner and pale pink lipstick, Waterhouse’s effortless polish was a reminder that the secret to making an ambitious trend work is to weave it into your trademark look.

The post Suki Waterhouse’s Boho Braids and Slept-In Waves: How to Weave a Trend into Your Trademark Look appeared first on Vogue.

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What Is Travis Hiding? – Tyler Perry’s If Loving You Is Wrong – OWN

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After working as a missionary in Haiti, Travis finally comes home to Maxine. His girlfriend, Kelly, has been anxiously awaiting his arrival, but something isn’t right between the two lovers. Plus, Esperanza discovers just how dangerous her new boyfriend Julius is.

About OWN:
Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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Al Qaeda Struggles to Look Cool Next to Rockstar ISIS

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DAMASCUS — After dominating international headlines for more than a decade, al Qaeda is struggling to remain relevant to a new generation of rosy-cheeked, fundamentalist jihadis smitten with ISIS.

Once the only game in town, al Qaeda is finding it hard to compete with the sexy allure of a tech-savvy Islamic State. In a recent video, al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri said he blames the easily-distracted attention spans of millennial jihadis.

“In my day, we’d wait hours for a crappy video condemning the West to download,” said al-Zawahiri. “Pfff. Good luck nowadays recruiting anyone born after 1995 if you’re not streaming your executions in HD.”

Since taking power in Iraq and parts of Syria, ISIS’s numbers have steadily risen, largely because of its ability to engage with the hip, young terrorist demographic through catchy videos and social platforms like Instagram and Snapchat.

“Al Qaeda’s a joke,” said one 20-year-old jihadi. “Asking me to like them on Facebook? What terrorist network is on Facebook anymore? My mom’s on Facebook.”

As with any brand in the digital age, al Qaeda is being forced to reinvent itself or face extinction. Luckily, in Syria, they’ve found an unlikely ally to help them do just that: the United States.

“Of course the minute I ordered 2,000 new business cards, the American media started calling us the Rebel Army,” said a Nusra Front deputy, al Qaeda’s Syrian branch. “But it’s growing on me. It sounds like Star Wars. And I’m already getting way more profile views on LinkedIn.”

But the world’s most famous terrorist organization refuses to lose any more of the spotlight to rockstar newcomer ISIS, and al-Qaeda now says it’s in talks with director Brett Ratner for a quirky jihadi web series due early 2016.

Note: This post is a work of satire and all quotations within are fabricated.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Kimye, Miley And Loads Of Sparkles Dominate The Ashish Runway At London Fashion Week

You already see photos of celebrities like Kim Kardashian West, Kanye West and Miley Cyrus everywhere you go. Now, thanks to Ashish Gupta, you can see them in a new place: your closet.

There was bling galore and familiar faces on the catwalk at the designer’s Spring 2015 show at London Fashion Week on Tuesday. This marks the Kardashian-West’s first Fashion Week “appearance.” Cyrus, on the other hand, has certainly made her runway presence known this season.

ashish 1

But before you start imaginging all the selfie-oppportunities you might have in one of these shirts, you should know that it will cost you (around $ 1,550 to be exact.) Similar pieces — which don’t feature the “worlds most talked about couple” — retail for around $ 1,200 , but of course adding Kimye to your sweatshirt costs an extra $ 300.

milye

Celebrities didn’t serve as the only adornments at the show. Another piece in the collection has the words “hi haters” emblazoned across the chest, and even Gupta himself donned a sparkly “FML” sweatshirt.

The designer clearly has an affection for pop culture, glitz, and not giving a you-know-what.

hi hater

Check out the entire collection at Style.com.
Style – The Huffington Post
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Barrel Chests, Brawn, and Buffoonery: Controlling Images of Masculinity in Pixar Movies

I just read and reviewed Shannon Wooden and Ken Gillam’s Pixar’s Boy Stories: Masculinity in a Postmodern Age. And I thought I’d build on some of a piece of their critique of a pattern in the Pixar canon to do with portrayals of masculine embodiment. In Black Feminist Thought, Patricia Hill Collins coined the term “controlling images” to analyze how cultural stereotypes surrounding specific groups ossify in the form of cultural images and symbols that work to (re)situate those groups within social hierarchies. Controlling images work in ways that produce a “truth” about that group (regardless of its actual veracity). Collins was particularly interested in the controlling images of black women and argues that those images play a fundamental role in black women’s continued oppression. While the concept of “controlling images” is largely applied to popular portrayals of disadvantaged groups, in this post, I’m considering how the concept applies to a consideration of the controlling images of a historically privileged group. How do controlling images of dominant groups work in ways that shore up existing relations of power and inequality when we consider portrayals of dominant groups?

Pixar films have been popularly hailed as pushing back against some of the heteronormative gender conformity that is widely understood as characterizing the Disney collection. While a woman didn’t occupy the lead protagonist role until Brave (2012), the girls and women in Pixar movies seem more complex, self-possessed, and even tough. (Side note: Disney’s Frozen is obviously an important exception among Disney movies. See Afshan Jafar‘s nuanced feminist analysis of the film here.) In fact, Pixar’s movies are often hailed as pushing back against some of the narratological tyranny of some of the key plot and characterological devices that research has shown to characterize the majority of children’s animated movies. But what can we learn from their depictions of boys and men?

Philip Cohen has posted before on the imagery of gender dimorphism in children’s animated films. Despite some ostensibly (if superficially) feminist features in films like Tangled (2010), Gnomeo and Juliet (2011), and Frozen (2013), Cohen points to the work done by the images of men’s and women’s bodies — paying particular attention to their relative size (see Cohen’s posts here, here, and here). Cohen’s point about exaggerated gendered imagery of bodies might initially strike some as trivial (e.g., “Disney favors compositions in which women’s hands are tiny compared to men’s, especially when they are in romantic relationships” [here]), but it is one small way that relations of power and dominance are symbolically upheld, even in films that might seem to challenge this relationship. How are masculine bodies depicted in Pixar films? And what kind of work do these depictions do? Is this work at odds with their popular portrayal as feminist (or at least feminist-friendly) films?

Large, heavily muscled bodies are both relied on and used as comic relief in Pixar’s collection. It’s also true that some of the primary characters are men with traditionally stigmatized embodiments of masculinity: overly thin (Woody in Toy Story, Flic in A Bug’s Life), physically awkward (Linguini in Ratatouille), deformed (Nemo in Finding Nemo), fat (Russell in Up), etc. Yet these characters often end up accomplishing some mission or saving the day not because of their bodies but in spite of them. When their bodies are put on display at all, it’s typically as they are held up against a cast of characters whose bodies are presented as more naturally exuding “masculine” qualities we’ve learned to recognize as characteristic of “real” heroes. As Wooden and Gillam write (p. 34):

Amidst ostensibly ironic inversions of power in the Monsters films and The Incredibles, male bodies are still ranked according to a tragically familiar social paradigm, whereby bigger, stronger, and more athletic men and boys are invariably understood as superior to smaller, more delicate, or intellectual ones.

Wooden and Gillam use Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story as perhaps the most glaring example . When we first meet Buzz in Andy’s room, Buzz does not recognize himself as a toy. He is foolish, laughably arrogant, imprudent, and, quite frankly, a bit reckless. Yet the audience is supposed to interpret Buzz as the other toys in Andy’s room do: We’re in awe of him. Buzz embodies a recognizable high-status masculinity. Sulley in Monsters, Inc. occupies a similar body, and, like Buzz, he is instantly situated as occupying a recognizably masculine heroic role (a role that is bolstered by the comically embodied Mike Wazowksi, whose body works to shore up Sulley’s masculinity). While Buzz and Sulley — and similarly embodied men in other Pixar movies — are sometimes teased for conforming to some of the “dumb jock” stereotypes that characterize male action heroes of the 1980s, their bodies retain their status and still work as controlling images that reiterate social hierarchies.

In C.J. Pascoe‘s research on masculinity in American high schools, she coined the term “jock insurance” to address a very specific phenomenon. Boys occupying high-status masculinities were afforded a form of symbolic “insurance” that enabled them to transgress masculinity without affecting their status. In fact, their transgressions often worked in ways that actually shored up their masculinities. This kind of “jock insurance” is relied upon as a patterned narratological device in Pixar movies. Barrel-chested, brawny male characters are allowed to be buffoons; they’re allowed to participate in potentially feminizing or emasculating behaviors without having those behaviors challenge the masculinities their bodies situate them as occupying or their status (in anything other than a superficial sort of way). For instance, Sulley, Mr. Incredible, Lightning McQueen, and Buzz Lightyear perform domestic masculinities in ways that don’t actually challenge their symbolic position of dominance. Indeed, the awkwardness with which they participate in these roles implicitly suggests that these men naturally belong elsewhere.

In The Incredibles, Bob Parr’s incredible strength and monstrous body look silly accomplishing domestic tasks or even occupying a traditionally domestic masculinity. His small car helps his body appear laughable in this role as he drives to work. At work, Bob’s desk plays a similar role. His body is depicted as not belonging there; domesticity is symbolically holding him back. This sort of “crisis of masculinity” narrative plays out in the stories of many of these characters. So, when they occupy the role they are initially depicted as denying, the narrative creates a frame for the audience to collectively experience relief as they take on the heroic roles for which their bodies symbolically situate them as more naturally suited. The scene in The Incredibles in which Bob Parr (Mr. Incredible) quits his job by punching his boss (whose physically inferior body is regularly situated alongside Bob’s for comic relief) through a wall is perhaps the most exaggerated example of this. The pleasures these films invite us to share at these moments when gendered hierarchies of embodiment are symbolically put on display play a role in reproducing inequality.

Similar to Nicola Rehling‘s analysis of white, heterosexual masculinity in popular movies in Extra-Ordinary Men, portrayals of masculinity in Pixar films work in ways that simultaneously decenter and recenter dominant embodiments of masculinity — and, in the process, obscure relations of power and inequality. Indeed, sidekicks and villains are most often depicted as occupying masculine bodies less worthy of status. These masculine counter-types (like Randall in Monsters, Inc., Sid Phillips in Toy Story, or Buddy Pine/Syndrome in The Incredibles) embody masculinities portrayed as “deserving” the “justice” they are served.

The films in Pixar’s collection show a patterned reliance on controlling images associated with the embodiment of masculinity that shores up the very systems of gender inequality the films are often lauded as challenging. To be clear, I like these films — and, clearly, many of them are a significant step in a new direction. Yet we continue to implicitly exalt controlling images of masculine embodiment that reiterate gender relations between men and exaggerate gender dimorphism between men and women.

Sometimes, when you point out how patterns reproduce inequality, people expect you to provide a solution. But what would challenging these images actually look like? That is, I think, a more difficult question than it might at first appear. A former Dreamworks animator, Jason Porath, might help us think about this in a new way. Porath’s blog, Rejected Princesses, was recently featured on NPR’s All Things Considered. On the site, Porath plays with “princessizing” unsung heroines unlikely to hit the big screen. His tagline reads, “Women too awesome, awful, or offbeat for kids’ movies.” Yet, even here, Porath relies on recognizable embodiments of “the princess” to depict these women — like his portrayal of Mariya Oktyabrskaya, the first woman tanker to be awarded the “Hero of the Soviet Union” award. Similarly, cartoonist David Trumble produced a series of images that “over-feminize” real-life heroines like Anne Frank, Susan B. Anthony, Marie Curie, Sojourner Truth and Ruth Bader Ginsberg. While both of these projects make powerful statements, we need more cartoon imagery that challenge these gendered embodiments alongside narratives and characters that support this project. What that might actually look like is currently unclear. What is clear, I think, is that we can do better.

This post originally appeared at Feminist Reflections.
Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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Michael Jackson talks perfection, God in odd ‘Blank on Blank’ interview

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Tim McGraw Performs ‘Unstaged’ Webcast From New York

Tim McGraw released his 13th studio album, Sundown Heaven Town on Tuesday, and promoted the new set of tunes from sun-up to sundown in the Big Apple.  

The 47-year-old entertainer kicked off his album release day with a performance on ABC’s Good Morning America, and wrapped up the evening with a……
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Gabrielle Union Flaunts New Bangs in First Post-Wedding Appearance—See the Pic!

Gabrielle Union, HairThe honeymoon’s over for Gabrielle Union’s pre-wedding do!

The 41-year-old showed off freshly chopped bangs at Hublot watch event in NYC yesterday. On a subtler front, the star…


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All The Reasons ‘Awkward”s Matty McKibben Is Ready For Fatherhood — And All The Reasons He’s Not

Matty McKibben might soon be a father on “Awkward,” and here’s why he is (and is not) ready for it.
News

Meghan Trainor Leads Hot 100′s All-Female Top Five For Second Week

It’s all about women in the Billboard Hot 100′s top five again, as Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass” heads up an all-female top five for a…
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Anthropologie’s New Wedding Registry Makes Everything You Were Coveting Before Look Boring

Sensible dishes? Meh. Silverware for 12? Snooze-fest. Starting today brides and grooms can create a wedding registry through Anthropologie—and suddenly all those practical gifts you wanted before seem boring, right? Here are 15 things…







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The Best Street Style From London Fashion Week

London Street Style

The post The Best Street Style From London Fashion Week appeared first on Vogue.

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Randal Learns the Truth – Tyler Perry’s If Loving You Is Wrong – OWN

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Despite Alex’s attempts to break things off with her neighbor Randal, her lover keeps finding excuses to be near her. He agrees to help their friend Kelly move in when he hears that Alex will be there. While unpacking boxes, Alex’s morning sickness flares up, and Kelly asks Randal to take her home. Watch what happens when Randal discovers that Alex is pregnant.

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17 Slogans That Frankly Make More Sense Than the Real Ones, Pt. 6

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honestslogans.com

It’s that time of year once again, when women become obsessed with pumpkin spice lattes and men start downing amber ales in front of a campfire. Fall is fast approaching, and what better time than now to share a few more Honest Slogans? We could all use a little more honesty in our lives, and advertising is no exception. Here is a look at 17 popular products and what people really think of them. Take a look at part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 and part 5 as well if you’d like. Hope you enjoy!

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honestslogans.com
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Why The Ashish Runway Show Is Much More Than A Kimye Sweatshirt

I’m pretty sure I woke up my neighbors at 5am when I shouted “Hallelujah” after seeing photos from Ashish’s Spring 2015 show. The designer shook up London Fashion Week by casting all black models to debut his super shiny collection — something I never thought I’d see during my lifetime.

As one of the very few black women working in this field, it pains me to see how little we are represented on the catwalk, front row and backstage, even though there are individuals like Bethann Hardison, Naomi Campbell, Iman and Tyson Beckford who have campaigned against the industry’s blatant racism.

Clearly, it’s OK for some to misappropriate our likeness for a good show, but Ashish’s runway full of all black models didn’t come across as forced or foul.

However, it didn’t take long for a certain Kimye sequin sweatshirt to steal the spotlight from this monumental moment in fashion.

So to bring it all back to what we all should be focusing on, here’s why Ashish’s spring show is much more than his clever designs:

1. Because catwalks tend to be ALL WHITE with a dash of the same black faces. You know Jourdan, Joan or Chanel.

marc jacobs spring 2015 runway

2. Because it showed that when you do include black models, it doesn’t take shine away from the collection… hell, it makes it better!

ashish spring 2015

3. Because it proved that black women CAN wear bold makeup. (Sorry, ASAP Rocky!)

ashish spring 2015

4. Because it reinforced our community’s role in setting trends — backwards pants (Kris Kross), “Reading Rainbow” (Levar Burton), “Hi Hater” (Maino).

ashish spring 2015

ashish spring 2015

ashish spring 2015

5. Because, really, it’s about damn time that I see more people who look just like ME on the runway.

ashish spring 2015

ashish spring 2015

ashish spring 2015


Style – The Huffington Post
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Niall Horan May Or May Not Be Kissing A Male Friend In This Vine

Living in the public eye is the story of Niall Horan’s life, but the latest influx of rumors about the British pop heartthrob? He may not just swing “One Direction.”

The singer was spotted allegedly kissing a male pal at a club, as shown in the below Vine from user tbh luke, which was posted two days ago.

This certainly isn’t the first time a One Direction band member has faced gay rumors, and a seemingly nonplussed Niall offered a breezy response on Twitter:


As for the content of the Vine itself? His friendly moves are decidedly ambiguous. Either way, keep doing you, Niall — that’s what makes you beautiful.

h/t Towleroad
Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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I really love nature, long walks and just being in the forest or near the water. I enjoy going out and spending my spare time in a company of good friends. I also like cooking something special I enjoy fine candle-light dinners. I like traveling and adventures, I am generally anoptimistic person with a sense of humor, fairly easy-going, and I don't think that I'm too critical about things in my life, but I also believe that it takes two people contributing to a relationship to make it work..

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Lawyer: Thicke exploited in ‘Blurred Lines’ suit

Robin Thicke lawyer: Singer’s ‘vulnerability’ exploited in claim he didn’t pen ‘Blurred Lines’
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Fame: ‘David Bowie Day’ Is September 23rd in Chicago

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel inadvertently declared himself the coolest mayor on Earth by proclaiming September 23rd “David Bowie Day.” The honor comes in connection with David Bowie Is…, a retrospective exhibit opening that day at the city’s Museum of Contemporary Art. 

As Consequence of Sound notes, the announcement was delivered in a written proclamation in……
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Melissa Rivers Set to Join Fashion Police Co-Hosts to Celebrate and Pay Tribute to Joan Rivers in On-Air Special

Joan Rivers, Melissa RiversIn honor of the iconic Joan Rivers, E! and her Fashion Police family will be paying tribute to the late comedienne by celebrating “Joan Day” with special programming on Friday, September…


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Robert Downey Jr. Confronts His Daddy Issues In ‘The Judge’ Trailer

Watch Robert Downey Jr. leave Tony Stark behind to play a lawyer fighting for his father’s name in “The Judge.”
News

Exclusive: Indie Poppers Allo Darlin’ Premiere Lovey-Dovey New Song ‘Bright Eyes’

Allo Darlin’ is getting ready to share its latest collection of indie-pop romcoms via new LP We Come From the Same Place. The charming Anglo-…
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3 Ways to Wear Fall’s Bohemian Trend Without Looking Like a Hippie

Talk about new bohemia: the fall runways were filled with folksy, fairy tale looks (Valentino, Alexander McQueen) and lean, '70s silhouettes (Louis Vuitton, Emilio Pucci). Super flattering, and super feminine, sure, but how do you…







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7 Types of Stationery For Every Occasion

stationary-gold-thank-you

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and when it comes to personal stationery, the same rule applies. What you choose to adorn your notecards can often say more than the notes themselves. As we head into a season of thank you–writing and well wishing, why not put extra thought into your stationery selection? Here, we break down seven stationery motifs.

The post 7 Types of Stationery For Every Occasion appeared first on Vogue.

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What Is Julius Planning? – Tyler Perry’s If Loving You Is Wrong – OWN

Tune in Tuesdays 9/8c!
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When Eddie discovers whom his ex-wife, Esperanza, has been seeing, things go south for her new boyfriend, Julius. After three days with no communication, Julius finally calls, and Esperanza learns the horrible truth. Relieved to discover that Julius is alive, Esperanza’s worry quickly resurfaces when her boyfriend makes some cryptic remarks.

About OWN:
Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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Bill Hader Hosting ‘Saturday Night Live’ Oct. 11 With Musical Guest Hozier

“Saturday Night Live” will round out the first few shows of its 40th season with former cast member Bill Hader returning as host on Oct. 11. Hader left “Saturday Night Live” in 2013 after eight seasons with the show.

“SNL” previously announced that “Guardians Of The Galaxy” star Chris Pratt would host the season opener on Sept. 27, followed by Sarah Silverman who will be making her first appearance as host on Oct. 4.

Naturally, the question on all of our minds is, exactly how much Stefon will we get? (Whatever the answer, Mr. Michaels, double it.)

Musical guest for the Oct. 11 show will be Hozier.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Crack Is Whack, An Ode to Mom Jeans

This post originally appeared on OneFunnyMotha.com

I’m not talking about a return to the days when jeans extend all the way up to your neck. Or the time circa 1980 of pleated, acid washed jeans that really highlighted and accentuated your burgeoning abdominal region. I’m talking about a good, old-fashioned, fully functional, basic, fitting garment that actually covers the body parts it’s designed to cover. I don’t think expecting your pants to come up past your ass is too much to ask. In fact, that was once a basic tenet of clothing.

I don’t know what happened in the garment industry, but it seems it has completely dispensed with its 2,000-year history of manufacturing clothing for the purpose of, well, clothing. Although we now have more options than ever with myriad styles, cuts and washes, sadly, none of them fit. It seems a cruel paradox.

Walk into any retailer and you’ll find a dizzying array of denim. Jeans that are skinny, super skinny, super duper skinny, slim skinny, slim shady, confining skinny and can’t-breath skinny. And that’s just the skinny category. Then there’s straight jeans, curvy jeans, straight curvy jeans, roundabout jeans, perfect boot cut jeans, sexy boot cut jeans, and boyfriend jeans not to be confused with the sexy boyfriend jeans or the metro sexual boyfriend jeans. That last one is the one I need. The metro sexual boyfriend jean: fashionable yet fitting. Where can I find those?

While I’ve had trouble finding my perfect metro sexual boyfriend, I haven’t had problems finding a myriad of other options. I can choose any finish from distressed to faded to whiskered to dark wash to not-too-dark-but-not-too-light wash to my personal favorite, worn crystal. Then you have the rises. There’s mid-rise, low-rise, ultra low-rise, low low-rise and half-ass-hanging-out-rise. But where, I ask you, is the high-rise? Where is the standard cover-your-stomach-so-your-flab-doesn’t-ooze-over-the-side rise?

And don’t even get me started on the skimmer jeans. There are approximately fifty-four thousand varieties of those too. By the end of sorting through the vast deep blue sea of denim, casting aside pair after imperceptibly different pair, in search of my size only to find one in the wrong length (regular or long but not ankle) because for some reason The Gap thinks the average American woman is 10 feet tall, I had to ask the perky salesperson, who was perched atop a ladder stocking the highest rungs of the towering floor to ceiling denim display, for help.

“Um, excuse, me. Sorry I just trashed the whole pile of jeans you painstakingly folded and now have to refold, but do you have the dark wash always skinny skimmer jeans in mid rise size 8 in ankle length? I don’t see it here.” To which the 23-year-old sales clerk responded, “Well, we have the dark wash deconstructed always skinny skimmer jeans in size 8 ankle but in low rise. Or the super skinny always skinny skimmer legging jeans in 8 ankle, but not in dark wash and those only come in ultra low rise.”

“Let’s make this a little easier,” I exhaled. “Do you have any skinny jeans in this store that are mid rise in size 8 ankle?”

“No, sorry,” she said chomping her gum before returning to the wall of denim, and I didn’t get the sense she was genuinely saddened by my loss.

“But you have a million jeans in this store,” I persisted, shaking my head. “How could you not have any in my size?”

But it was no use because I am not 18, and the world and jeans are stacked against me.

Please note, because I’d really like to avoid any confusion here, and with full understanding I think we can all come to a consensus on one very important point: I am not, under any circumstances, advocating for high-to-your-eye rise jeans. I talk not of your mom’s mom jeans but a new jean, a better jean, a technologically enhanced jean. A jean for the 21st century with a delicate balance of fashion and function for women who have birthed a child or developed beyond the age of 21. A jean for the woman who would like to maintain a sense of fashion along with her dignity. Because while we may have become, after years of exposure, a nation desensitized to unwanted butt crack sightings, I assert crack is now and forevermore shall be whack.

What really confounds me about the whole situation is why such a jean doesn’t exist. This idea isn’t some fanciful notion. I know it can be done because it has been done. In fact, it’s still being done. Only for men.

When these thoughts really get me down like, say, after a particularly hard day at the mall, I’ll stare mournfully out my window and reminisce about the good times, the heady days of yore when clothing actually fit. I remember a more innocent time before muffin tops, before jeans needed to be hiked up every 5 minutes, before special complementary underwear was a necessary part of an outfit because undergarments actually remained under your garments. Mostly, I recall, wistfully, a by-gone era when one’s exposed crack cause embarrassment, when all the world considered plumber’s crack as the height of humiliation and not a given.

I say it’s time to take action. Because I submit to you, good people of the world, a society in which mass unwanted crack sightings are tolerated is not a civilized society at all.

We had fitting jeans once, and we could have them again. In fact, we must insist upon it. We must rise up and demand our jeans do the same because while we have a multitude of rises, they have not risen far enough.

Find Stacey on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and, of course, her blog, OneFunnyMotha.com
Style – The Huffington Post
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Adorable Little Girl Recites Classic Lines From ‘Friends’

When Joey Tribbiani asked the umpteenth woman, “How you doin’?” on “Friends,” the pickup line started to lose its cuteness. But when an adorable 3-year-old recites the character’s catchphrase, it’s downright endearing.

Annie Spohr, whose parents Heather and Mike run the blog The Spohrs Are Multiplying, has received a lot of attention for a precious YouTube video in which she recites the best lines from “Friends.” Though her family posted the video a year ago, it started going viral after Buzzfeed shared it on the site.

This isn’t Annie’s first brush with viral fame. Last year, the now 4-year-old won many hearts with a similar video that shows her delivering classic movie lines from AFI’s famous film quotes list.

Be sure to watch the video all the way to the end to catch Annie singing “Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?” — complete with a child-size acoustic guitar that’s still just a little too big for her.

(hat tip: Buzzfeed)

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YAWN, ‘Flytrap’

YAWN’s off-kilter new video for the song “Flytrap” is plagued (intentionally) by mistimed cues, faulty gear and more. It’s a strange and trippy scene scored perfectly by the band’s woozy guitar riff.

» E-Mail This

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Adrian Peterson Banned by Team as Child-Injury Case Continues

The Minnesota Vikings barred Adrian Peterson from all team activities on Wednesday, reversing course on a controversial decision the team made earlier in the week, when it said the star running back would play despite his indictment on a child-injury charge.

“After giving the situation additional thought, we have decided this……
RollingStone.com: News

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Nick Cannon Wears $2 Million Diamond Shoes on America’s Got Talent Finale—See the Pics

Nick Cannon InstagramMariah Carey might be the one who loves diamonds, but it’s Nick Cannon who’s wearing $ 2 million worth of ‘em!

Yes, daahlings, Mr. Cannon, 33, wore an all-diamond pair of…


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Ed Sheeran Got Hilary Duff Out Of Bed To Record A Song

Hilary Duff talks being “really intimidated” being in the studio with Ed Sheeran to record her song “Tattoo” that will be featured on her upcoming album.
News

Ariana Grande Swears She’s Not A Diva

Ariana Grande swears she’s not a diva.
There have been several reports recently suggesting otherwise – Buzzfeed has a good run down of the…
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Keeping Up With Kendall Jenner: A Look Back at Every Runway Show She’s Ever Walked

With the European shows starting now, there’s no stopping her.







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Watch Guitarist Blake Mills Rehearse “Don’t Tell Our Friends About Me,” A Song from His New Album

holding-blake-mills-rehearsal

Blake Mills released a new album yesterday, Heigh Ho, that’s already inspiring some pretty bold proclamations about its artistic merit, with no less than Eric Clapton calling Mills “the last guitarist I heard that I thought was phenomenal.”

Mills reminds us that sometimes the biggest musical punches come in the least adorned packages: His world is mostly just him and a guitar, plus the kind of idiosyncratic songwriting that makes “Don’t Tell Our Friends About Me” so unique. On the new album, the track features frequent collaborator Fiona Apple, but here, he gives Vogue.com an exclusive look at a stripped-down rehearsal.

The post Watch Guitarist Blake Mills Rehearse “Don’t Tell Our Friends About Me,” A Song from His New Album appeared first on Vogue.

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Dr. Shefali Tsabary to Parents: Turn “All Eyes Inward” – Oprah’s Lifeclass – OWN

Tune in Sunday, September 21, at 9/8c on OWN.
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If you think you can fix your child’s behavior, parenting expert Dr. Shefali Tsabary says, it’s time to think again. “To be the conscious parent means to divorce ourselves from any idea that the answer lies in our child’s behavior,” she says. “The real awakening is about turning all eyes inward.”

Watch as Dr. Shefali advises a group of parents in the Lifeclass Social Lab on how to be more attuned to their sons and daughters.

About OWN:
Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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Watch These Adults Fail At 5th-Grade Math, Feel Better About Your Own Struggles

For those of you who feel like you’re not exactly Einsteins when it comes to helping your kids with their math homework, you’re not alone.

In the above video, from BuzzFeed, an array of adults try their hand at some serious throwback math problems. We’re talking fifth-grade math. Remember adding fractions, multiplication and long division? Neither do these people.

We certainly give them a gold star for their efforts.

h/t Tastefully Offensive
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Ariana Grande Doesn’t Want Her Fans To ‘F–king Die’

Ariana Grande is developing quite the reputation as a pint-sized diva, at least according to the rumor mill.

Most recently the New York Daily News reported that an “industry insider” overheard the 21-year-old while she was visiting a Manhattan radio station this summer. Grande was apparently “all smiles” while signing autographs for fans, before she got into the elevator. “And as soon as the doors shut she said, ‘I hope they all fucking die,’” the insider revealed.

Grande’s rep told HuffPost Entertainment that the NYDN’s report is “completely untrue. Ariana loves her fans!”

On Tuesday, Grande took to Twitter, indirectly addressing (and brushing off) the claim:

Recently, the “Problem” singer caught flak for the way in which she allegedly dealt with the Australian media. Grande’s team reportedly instructed the press to avoid questions about ex-boyfriends and dating, comparisons to Mariah Carey, rumors of a collaboration with Justin Bieber, her grandfather’s recent passing, her canceled Nickelodeon show and her former co-star Jennette McCurdy.
Style – The Huffington Post
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These 10 Iconic TV Shows Completely Defined The ’90s

Now this is a story all about how 10 shows got the ’90s flipped, turned upside down.

From “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” to “Friends,” the 1990s were full of great TV shows; however, some definitely stood out from the others.

In order to give those programs the props they deserve, WatchMojo.com put together a list of the top 10 shows that truly defined the ’90s, and, yada yada yada, it’s pretty spot on.

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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My friends say that I am beautiful not only outside but inside as well. And I think they are telling the truth. I am always trying to do my best… in every situation. I like challenges and helping people. That’s why I became a doctor which is a very demanding profession. Probably that’s why I am a caring, reliable, social and intelligent woman. A lot of different qualities are combined in me: one minute I am calm and quiet and the other minute I become passionate. There are also some traits which are stable. I love those people who are dear to me and I will never betray them or let them down.

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What I’m Looking For

I am looking for a man for: 1. Get kissed in the rain.2. Have that one hott kiss where your pressed against the wall.3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world.4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs.5. A man that whispers 'he loves you' in your ear.6. Have that moment where you just gaze into each other's eyes.7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.8. When you're not with your guy he's all that you can think about.9. Wearing his jacket and everytime you breathe in, his scent surrounds you.10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.11. A guy who squeezes your hand.12. A man that says 'he loves you' and means it.13. A guy that will play her favorite song outside her window.14. I am seeking a caring,loyal,trust worthy,understanding and honest man who must have a great sense of humor and must know how to treat a lady bcos somehow i loved to be pampered who is ready to love me till the rest of our lives.15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.17. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable…somethingsweet.18. A man that says cheezy stuff to you just to make u smile.

See more of what I am looking for

Hardcore Date Link

As A Lyricist And Novelist, The Mountain Goats’ Lead Man Writes About Pain

John Darnielle’s novel, Wolf in White Van, is about a man who survives a trauma. The songwriter tells Fresh Air about his difficult childhood and finding shelter in music and the Incredible Hulk.

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Five Ways Occupy Wall Street Is Still Fighting

On September 17th, 2011, activists gathered in downtown Manhattan with the stated goal of occupying Wall Street. They ended up in Zuccotti Park, where they built an encampment and remained until the NYPD surprised them with a violent eviction on November 15th. By then, the movement had developed a web……
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Jenny McCarthy on The View: It’s Been a ”Real Mixture” of Reviews, Plus Has She Tuned In?!

Jenny McCarthyNow that season 18 of The View is officially underway—following a massive overhaul that included firing half of the panel over the summer—fans are eager to hear former…


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