Parsnips, Buttered: Bamboozle and Boycott Modern Life, One Email at a Time (Unabridged) – Joe Lycett

Joe Lycett - Parsnips, Buttered: Bamboozle and Boycott Modern Life, One Email at a Time (Unabridged)  artwork

Parsnips, Buttered: Bamboozle and Boycott Modern Life, One Email at a Time (Unabridged)

Joe Lycett

Genre: Comedy

Price: $ 21.95

Publish Date: October 20, 2016

© ℗ © 2016 Hodder & Stoughton

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Selena Gomez’s Email Hacked Several Times in 2015 and 2016, NJ Woman Charged

Selena Gomez’s email was hacked and her identity was stolen, and the alleged culprit is a woman in New Jersey … this according to the L.A. County DA. The prosecutor claims Susan Atrach accessed Selena’s and her associate’s accounts several times from…

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Email Asking Boss For Day Off Because Old Man From ‘Pawn Stars’ Died

Email Asking Boss For Day Off Because Old Man From 'Pawn Stars' Died

Email Asking Boss For Day Off Because…
Ted emails his boss Steven asking for the day off because the Old Man Richard Harrison from ‘Pawn Stars’ died.
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Keywords: old man richard harrison pawn stars email ted steven day off family emergency leaked email
Views: 7,058

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Reigning Miss America Cara Mund addresses the organization’s recent email controversy

A little over three months after Cara Mund was crowned Miss America, a scandal rocked the organization.


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12 Email Subject Lines That Will Make You Throw Your Laptop Against The Wall

12 Email Subject Lines That Will Make You Throw Your Laptop Against The Wall

12 Email Subject Lines That Will Make…
WALL SMASH!
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Keywords: walls laptops ugh emails
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Harvey Weinstein Pens ‘Desperate Email’ To ‘CEOs, Moguls’ Before Firing

“I could really use your support … I am desperate for your help.”
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Trevor Noah: ‘Buddy’ Email On Russia Deal Could Hit Trump In The ‘Trunk’

“How can one person lie so BIG?”
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6 Things Working Women Should Never Write in Email

working women

By now, you’ve likely heard about the essay Jennifer Lawrence wrote for the Lenny newsletter discussing the gender pay gap earlier this week. If not, here’s a quick synopsis: JLaw explained that after the Sony hack—which leaked emails showing she took home a lot less money than her American Hustle male costars Jeremy Renner, Christian Bale, and Bradley Cooper—she was mad. Not at Sony necessarily, but at herself. “I failed as a negotiator because I gave up early,” Lawrence wrote. She goes on to add that she didn’t barter aggressively because she didn’t want to be perceived as abrasive, but concludes by writing: “I’m over trying to find the ‘adorable’ way to state my opinion and still be likable!” Amen, sister.

On the heels of this, Alexandra Petri at The Washington Post geniusly took things one step further—identifying a language called “Woman in a Meeting,” and then translating famous sentences in history into how a woman in a meeting would have said them (An example: “Give me liberty, or give me death.” Woman in a Meeting: “Dave, if I could, I could just—I just really feel like if we had liberty it would be terrific, and the alternative would just be awful, you know? That’s just how it strikes me. I don’t know.”)

As a women’s studies minor and English literature major who’s now a working mom, and who’s read Tina Fey’s Bossy Pants, Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In, and Anne Marie Slaughter’s “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All,” this kind of speak is something I think about a lot. I’ve definitely recast an email a time or two because I’m cognizant of the Woman in a Meeting linguistic crutches and I don’t want to succumb to them. Sometimes I succeed—and sometimes I fail, giving in to the societal pull to sound less direct than I’d like out of a fear of seeming pushy, bossy, or, worst of all, shrill. I can guarantee these are things most men don’t spend time pondering. Don’t misread me, I’m not saying their way is always the right way. What I am saying is I’ve compiled a list of five words and phrases I’m actively trying to ban from sent folder. Working women: Please take note.

1. “I’m sorry . . .”
I’m not sorry anymore! We have to stop apologizing for asking people to do things, particularly when it’s something that’s part of their job.

2. “Just . . .”
We need to stop using this word as a way to weaken a request or our opinion.

3. “This might be a stupid question but . . .”
Like they said in school, there are no stupid questions. Well, sometimes there are—but ask, don’t caveat.

4. “I may be wrong but . . .”
Don’t lessen the impact of what you say before you say it.

5. “If you want my two cents . . . ”
A man usually gives his three cents and he certainly doesn’t offset it with this phrase.

6. “Does this make sense?”
I do this one a lot, and I can’t stand it. Trust that what you wrote makes sense. Don’t openly question in email whether or not your thinking is sensical.

The post 6 Things Working Women Should Never Write in Email appeared first on Vogue.

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Bernie Sanders on Hillary Clinton’s Email Scandal: “The American People Are Sick and Tired of Hearing About Your Damn Emails!”

At the CNN Democratic debate tonight, moderator Anderson Cooper asked Hillary Clinton about the ongoing scandal surrounding her use of personal email while Secretary of State. "I've taken responsibility for it, I did say it…


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The Navy SEAL’s E-Mail Order Bride – Cora Seton

Cora Seton - The Navy SEAL's E-Mail Order Bride  artwork

The Navy SEAL’s E-Mail Order Bride

Cora Seton

Genre: Western

Publish Date: May 18, 2014

Publisher: One Acre Press

Seller: Jennifer Feddersen


Mason Hall, Navy SEAL, knows all about difficult assignments, but his current mission is one for the record books. Not only must he find a wife—and get her pregnant—or forfeit the ranch his family has prized for generations, he must also convince his three brothers to marry, too—before the year is up. Who knew one city girl and three wayward brothers could put up such a fight? Regan Anderson can’t wait any longer to meet Mr. Right, so she’s taken matters into her own hands. She’s quit her job, given up her nice apartment and undergone all the preliminary appointments to prepare for artificial insemination. Still, becoming a single mother is daunting, so when she spots Mason’s Wife Wanted ad on the Internet one night, she’s ready for a few laughs. She’s sure the ad must be fake, but when Mason answers back, she soon finds herself wanting more than a long distance relationship. If Mason can just keep her talking until he makes it home from Afghanistan, he’s sure he can convince Regan he’s her man. But when he whisks her off for a trial run in Chance Creek, they’re in for an unpleasant surprise. The ranch is in ruins, the house has been stripped, and they’re going to have to work day and night to beat Mason’s deadline to win it back. Can two strangers pull together against all odds? Or is this mission doomed to fail?

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News in Brief: Horrifying Email From Ex-Girlfriend Titled ‘A Few Things’

OXNARD, CA—His heart pounding in fear as he stared at the unread message in his inbox, area man Joe Dubbin reportedly checked Gmail at 11 p.m. Sunday night to discover a horrifying email from his ex-girlfriend titled simply “A few things.” “Oh, God,” Dubbin said under his breath as he worked up the nerve to move his cursor over the wholly unexpected message, a film of cold sweat materializing on his brow as he scanned the previewed line of text that read “Just so you know” followed by an ellipsis. “Should I just open this thing and get it over with now, or maybe mark it as ‘read’ and look at it tomorrow? Or I could just delete it quickly and forget this ever happened. Jesus.” Sources reported that Dubbin’s pupils then dilated in terror when, 12 minutes after the email arrived in his inbox, the number …




The Onion

An Email Exchange In Which I Ask A Designer To Photoshop A Large Penis On Michael Fassbender In ‘Assassin’s Creed’

An Email Exchange In Which I Ask A Designer To Photoshop A Large Penis On Michael Fassbender In 'Assassin's Creed'

An Email Exchange In Which I Ask A De…
Photos of Michael Fassbender in ‘Assassin’s Creed’ were released. Content needs to be made.
Submitted by: Dan Abramson
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Keywords: assassin's creed michael fassbender michael fassbender penis michael fassbender shame michael fassbender assassin's creed photoshopping penises michael fassbender big penis
Views: 16,179

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News in Brief: Worker Who Forgot Email Attachment Expects Coworkers To Forgive Her Just Like That

UPPER DARBY, PA—In a shameless attempt to persuade colleagues to excuse her incompetent mistake, local account supervisor Casey Collins, who forgot to include an email attachment earlier today, apparently expected her coworkers to forgive her just like that, shocked sources confirmed. “She thinks she can carelessly leave out the document, follow up with the line ‘Sorry guys, here it is!’ and expect us to straight up forgive her? Unbelievable,” said coworker Marc Graham, glaring at the audacious message, which reportedly concluded with “my bad” in a final, desperate attempt to atone for the egregious error. “She’s lucky she remembered to attach the file so quickly afterward, but if she thinks that wiped the slate clean, then she is sorely mistaken. Maybe a few months from now, but just a couple minutes after she did something like this? No way.” At press time, sources confirmed that a number of …



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Saturday’s Morning Email: Funnies Edition

morning email

Saturday Edition: The Funnies

Unimpressed Cat Is Not At All Interested In Your Magic Trick
You really can’t teach an old dog new tricks, huh?

Why not try your magic on someone who cares, human?

26 Adorably Bizarre Things Kids Have Said
Where on earth do they get it from?
kids hiding
I’m a liar to a bottle, baby. Come, come, come and open up.

28 Quintessentially 80s Perms
It’s just really hard to understand how this ever got approved by the trend lords.
perms
Let’s take a curly jaunt down memory lane, shall we?

Watch Stephen Colbert’s Last Night At Second City Back In 1994
Colbert performs a song about love that is, sadly, still incredibly relatable.
colbert
More importantly, he’s got something close to a fro atop his head.

7 Telltale Signs That You Are The Parent Of A Toddler
Ketchup is a food group.
toddler eating
Ranch is also a food group.

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Watch Rod Stewart sing karaoke to Rod Stewart songs.

And one more thing…

The vegetable cannot hear you.

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Illustration by Eva Hill

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Saturday’s Morning Email: Funnies Edition

 Saturday Edition: The Funnies

 

Italian Grandmothers Try Olive Garden For The First Time

…And the last time.

The nonnas are a little rough on the breadsticks, to be honest.  

Possibly The Most Genuine Letter From A First-Time Camper

“Did you know you can light farts on fire? I’ll show you on Satterday.”

“Tell my brothers to have lots of farts for Satterday.”

This Is Why You Should Never Hook Up With Your Friends

PSA: It’s not worth it.

Just. Do. Not. 

 

A Map Of The World, By Donald Trump

Feast your eyes upon ultimate map as perceived by the lone presidential candidate ever to utter the phrase, “Somebody’s doing the raping.”

It’s Donald’s world, you’re just living in it.

Meet Bob, A Dog With Some Unconventional Besties

So eight birds, one hamster and a golden retriever decide to have a playdate.

Extreme #squadgoals.

This 10-year-old dancing to Nicki Minaj’s “Truffle Butter” is a total boss.

And one more thing…
Dance because it’s summer and that means lobster rolls.

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Saturday’s Morning Email: Funnies Edition

morning email

Saturday Edition: The Funnies

Take The Citizenship Test For ‘Merica
No. 9: Draw a picture of the ‘Merican food pyramid.
test
Do you have what it takes to obtain legal citizenship?

33 Photos That Show Just How Awesomely Bad Little Kids Are At Hiding
So cute, so very naive.
kids hiding
Peekaboo!

21 Objects That Are Complete Smartasses
Oh, the joy of laughing at someone else’s expense.
smartass
Smartasses. They’re everywhere.

12 Fourth Of July Someecards For The Passive Aggressive Patriot In You
It’s what George Washington would have wanted.
someecards
Throw shade the American way.

Kids Explain Gay Marriage In A Way Everyone Can Understand
“Jimmy Kimmel Live!”: Why would anyone want to get married?
Kid: Because they love each other and they just feel a connection.
kids
Ding ding ding.

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We may finally have a Song of Summer with Demi Lovato’s brand spankin’ “Cool for the Summer.”

And one more thing…

Here’s to being in the moment.

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Illustration by Eva Hill

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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How Do You Avoid Email?

Nearly everything I need to do for my job involves opening email. I even open email to look for ideas before drawing a comic. And this is a big problem because there is no way to look at email without getting dragged down some unrelated rabbit hole.

I don’t know about you, but my email is almost always about something that needs to be done right away. Maybe it involves a group of people waiting to nail down a meeting time. I don’t want to keep five people in a state of uncertainty until I can check my calendar, so I do it right away. And then I see another email, and another. Soon I forget why I opened email in the first place.

That’s just one example. This morning I am avoiding my email because there will be at least five “right now” tasks that will assault my eyes and keep me from my priorities. Unfortunately, I do need to open my email to get an idea for today’s comic.

What the hell do I do? If I don’t open email, I might have no idea for a comic today. If I do, I will be sucked into the seven levels of email Hell. One distraction after another will leap at me like angry hornets.

Email, as currently designed, simply doesn’t work. It is a priority-scrambler. It turns order into disorder. No longer do you go from A to B. Now you must visit G, F,Q, and L and hope you remember you were aiming for B.

Anyway, my question is this:  How do you deal with this sort of email distraction problem at work? You must see as many email “emergencies” as I do every time you open email. I need a trick. Tell me what you do.

I have tried limiting email to an hour a day, but that leaves too many people hanging. And my job is the type that doesn’t lend itself to delegation. 

I need a solution. Whattaya got?

Scott

In Top Tech Blog:

– Some brainiacs figured out how to emulate human organs on a chip, so animal testing might become unnecessary. If it works, that would be crazy-cool. Aaaaand, way easier for the robots to someday program humans with designer drugs. 

– Why would you 3D-print a performance car? Just because you can? Nope. There is a far better reason.

– Two words: hover board.


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Email To My Groomsmen Re: Wearing Black Suits And Matching Condoms On Their Flaccid Penises

Email To My Groomsmen Re: Wearing Black Suits And Matching Condoms On Their Flaccid Penises

Email To My Groomsmen Re: Wearing Bla…
Email To My Groomsmen Re: Wearing Black Suits And Matching Condoms On Their Flaccid Penises
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The Cowboy’s E-Mail Order Bride – Cora Seton

Cora Seton - The Cowboy's E-Mail Order Bride  artwork

The Cowboy’s E-Mail Order Bride

Cora Seton

Genre: Western

Publish Date: May 1, 2013

Publisher: One Acre Press

Seller: One Acre Press


Ethan Cruz should be mending fences on his Montana ranch, but instead he's driving to the Chance Creek, Montana, airport – to pick up the bride he didn't know he had. This latest salvo in his ongoing practical joke battle with his best friend, Rob Matheson, has gone too far, and Ethan plans to send his "bride" right back home, then get busy plotting his revenge. One look at Autumn Leeds changes his mind, however. Perhaps he needs a bride, after all. A breathtakingly beautiful city bride.  Autumn Leeds needs a story – fast – or she's going to lose her lucrative contract with CityPretty Magazine, so when she sees the crazy video plea for a modern mail-order bride for a cowboy, it sounds like the story of the century. Making a video of her own, she casts herself as the perfect mail-order bride for a rancher, but when she finally reaches Montana, she's surprised to find Ethan's the perfect cowboy husband-to-be. Against her better judgment, her plan to keep her handsome groom at arm's length disintegrates into a night of passion spent in his arms.  Ethan knows he can't keep playing this game – he has to come clean with Autumn and tell her the truth; about the practical joke and about the state of his ranch. He's about to lose it all because of the debts his mother racked up before his parents' deaths. Now his sister, Claire, wants to sell the ranch and collect what little money they can. He'll be out of a home and a job, and in no shape to support the bride he desperately wants to marry, after all.  Autumn's in bigger trouble than ever. Not only has she fallen in love with the subject of her expose – she might be carrying his child. If she doesn't write this article and secure her contract for another year, she'll lose everything – her career, her apartment, and more importantly, her family's approval. The only alternative is to stay and marry Ethan. But how can she trust a man she's just met when she knows too well that men always let you down?  Can a love based on lies last?

iTunes Store: Top Free Books in Romance

Saturday’s Morning Email: Funnies Edition

morning email

Saturday Edition: The Funnies

The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
PSA: Children do not know how to whisper. For example my 4yo just “whispered” “Why does that woman have a mustache?!” on the checkout line.
tweets
LMAO

This Is What The World Would Look Like If Guys Got Periods
#imonmyperiod would probably trend regularly on Twitter.
period
The parodies were actually designed with a good cause in mind.

9 Words That Don’t Exist, But Definitely Should
Checkward (adj.): That awkward moment when the check comes and you need to decide whether to split it evenly or if each person will pay their share.
words
Sh*t just got real.

12 Gloriously Honest Cards Your Ex Deserves
Eh, who needs Hallmark?
cards
Happy to help!

Badass Teen’s Perfect Yearbook Quote Serves Up Some Inspiration
Let’s just say it starts with, “I need feminism because” …
yasss
HERO.

playbutton
Here’s Ella Fitzgerald singing “Summertime,” for obvious reasons.

And one more thing…

Careful what you wish for.

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Illustration by Eva Hill

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The Email Leak That Embarrassed Actress Garcelle Beauvais | Where Are They Now? | OWN

Actress Garcelle Beauvais was married for nine years when, she says, she discovered her husband was cheating. Find out what happened after she sent an email to her husband’s co-workers, accusing him of a five-year affair.

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Their stories made headlines across America. “Oprah: Where Are They Now?” features updates on some of the biggest newsmakers and most memorable “Oprah Show” guests of all time. Find out where they are now, plus see what happened to the biggest newsmakers of all time and how their lives changed after sudden fame and notoriety turned their worlds upside down.

Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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‘Email In Real Life’ Is Proof Positive That Emailing Is Pretty Weird

Have you ever really thought about what you sound like in an email? It’s not very semicolon-right parenthesis. [ 😉 ]

What if you had to physically “reply all” in the real world? Or spoke like you do when you think your email requires some CAPSLOCK action? Comedy duo Tripp and Tyler show us what the office would be like if our email behavior spilled out into our daily real-life interactions.

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Shirley Manson responds to Kanye West’s email, blasts Kim & North

Garbage singer Shirley Manson slams Kanye West again, but this time it's personal.
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Policlips Now: Ben Carson, Bibi’s Speech And An Email Controversy

In this week’s edition of “Policlips Now,” we’re highlighting the best political clips you may have missed while you were busy at work or stuck at home because of snow.

We saw GOP presidential hopeful Ben Carson making an outrageous statement about gay people, President Barack Obama dismissing Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s speech before Congress and Secretary of State John Kerry basically saying he doesn’t care about the Hillary Clinton email controversy.

Watch our video above.

Gay Voices – The Huffington Post

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Get Off Your Butt and Email the FCC Now

I am beginning this month’s article with what I hope will be an unambiguous call to action for everyone in the greater online adult entertainment community to join the battle to restore net neutrality.
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5 Tantric Sex Secrets I Learned From a GOOP Email (Thanks, Gwyneth!)





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The Email That Could Help You Live Longer – Super Soul Sunday – Oprah Winfrey Network

Tune in Sunday, May 25, at 11 a.m. ET/PT on OWN. You can also join our worldwide simulcast on Oprah.com, Facebook.com/owntv or Facebook.com/supersoulsunday.
Subscribe to OWN: http://bit.ly/18Lz0rV

Happiness researcher Shawn Achor says taking two minutes to send an email praising or thanking someone you know instantly gives you a boost. If you send one email a day for 21 days, he says, it could extend your life. Find out how.

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