“I can’t make you love me when you don’t, ” Bonnie Raitt sings. “How am I supposed to live without you,” Michael Bolton swoons. “Nothing compares to you,” Sinead O’ Connor laments. “Love is a battlefield,” Pat Benetar told us. Finally, “love hurts,” Nazareth informs us.
Love does hurt, as they say; or it can hurt, literally and figuratively.
Some of us know this better than others. Some of us know it only too well, sadly.
One individual we all know and love knows it extremely well. She has been known to kiss a frog or two. In fact, she recently told me when I met her in California, “I don’t expect much from frogs anymore.”
Meanwhile, the press has reported that on at least three separate incidents, she attempted to coerce her partner into a relationship, beating him when he refused. Other times she reacted with violence and rage when he broke up with her, or when he was simply hugging a friend, talking to another woman, or even just standing too close to them. She denies all of these, of course.
If a bad childhood is synonymous with poor choices, her background didn’t help in her love choices. She grew up in a small town in Iowa; her father died when she was young, and her mother wasn’t that nice to her. She had to enter beauty contests to survive, as many attractive single women do nowadays. She had a lot of vulnerability which she had to hide, because of her need to be a superstar and the competition. She had to grow up hard and fast and tough. Think Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj and others and one has the correct picture.
Meanwhile, with respect to love, she has been in and out of this same relationship with the same individual from 1978 to 2015. That’s almost 37 years of love hurting. Indeed, if breaking up is hard to do this lady knows all about it and heartache firsthand.
Here then are words of wisdom from her when we sat together this month and I asked for her take on how to walk away graciously from a relationship gone bad. Here is her mature and brief response on how to think and move forward positively and graciously as a woman when our hearts are broken by men we love who no longer love us.
She told me on the topic of love hurts, in a French accent:
“Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.” — Miss Piggy
That’s all she would say, before she stormed off. She has obviously forgiven and healed nicely.
Is it wine for the swine time maybe?!
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