Not Tired? There Are 8 Other Reasons You Could Have Dark Circles

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Style and Beauty – Fashion News, Celebrity Style and Fashion Trends
FASHION NEWS UPDATE-Visit Shoe Deals Online today for the hottest deals online for shoes!

For Centennial Reasons: 100 Year Salute to Nat King Cole – John Pizzarelli Trio

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For Centennial Reasons: 100 Year Salute to Nat King Cole

John Pizzarelli Trio

Genre: Jazz

Price: $ 11.99

Release Date: February 8, 2019

© ℗ 2019 Seven String, LTD under exclusive license to Ghostlight Records

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44 Reasons Your Mixes Suck – A Mixing Engineer’s Guide – Amos Clarke

Amos Clarke - 44 Reasons Your Mixes Suck - A Mixing Engineer's Guide  artwork

44 Reasons Your Mixes Suck – A Mixing Engineer’s Guide

Amos Clarke

Genre: Music

Publish Date: June 24, 2018

Publisher: Amos Clarke

Seller: Draft2Digital, LLC


Let's face it: even after hours of sweat and anguish, your mix still isn't sounding like you want it. Perhaps it's nearly there, but there's something small that stops it from being a great mix. That 'something small' can be something big if it's the difference between a poor sounding mix and a pro sounding mix. Maybe you're simply missing some essential knowledge, or perhaps you've got into bad habits that are screwing things up every time. Frustrating! 44 Reasons Your Mixes Suck, is the book to catapult you out of your mixing rut! This book contains a list of common (and not so common) reasons why mixes sound second-rate. And every 'reason' has a solution on how to fix it. So what are you waiting for? Grab the book, get your mix up, and let's get into it.

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All the Right Reasons – Nickelback

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All the Right Reasons

Nickelback

Genre: Rock

Price: $ 4.99

Release Date: September 26, 2005

© ℗ 2005 The All Blacks B.V.

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Roundtable: Reasons for Rangers’ success, Penguins’ woes

Will the Capitals win another division title? What’s behind the Rangers’ success (and can it continue)? What trades should the Canes explore?
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’13 Reasons Why’ Star Katherine Langford Joins Upcoming ‘Avengers’ Film (Reports)

Katherine Langford has graduated from Liberty High to the Marvel Cinematic Universe!


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‘Ghost Adventures’: 10 Reasons Why Your House Might Be Haunted

Is your house haunted? “Ghost Adventures” host and lead investigator Zak Bagans shares 10 tell-tale signs – from disembodied voices to sudden changes in your emotions – that a paranormal presence might be living with you. “Ghost Aventures: Graveyard of the Pacific,” a four-part miniseries, airs Saturdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on Travel Channel. “Ghost Adventures Live,” a four-hour live investigation, premieres Oct. 31 beginning at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT on Travel Channel.


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5 Products That Got Popular For Unexpectedly Creepy Reasons

By E. Reid Ross,Steven Assarian,E.M. Caris,Alan Corcoran  Published: October 06th, 2018 


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Fall TV preview: 21 reasons to embrace the end of summer

A look at the best broadcast, streaming and cable has to offer as the fall TV season begins.


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I Am Paul Walker Trailer Will Remind You Of All The Reasons You Loved The Late Actor

“I Am Paul Walker” first trailer reveals interviews with family and close friends about the actor’s life and legacy.
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6 Reasons You Shouldn’t Photograph Fireworks with Your Phone

6 Reasons You Shouldn’t Photograph Fireworks with Your Phone

6 Reasons You Shouldn’t Photograph Fi…
Please don’t use your cell phone to take pictures of fireworks on the 4th of July.
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Cleveland has 300 million reasons to want LeBron to stay

With hundreds of millions at stake, LeBron James might be just as valuable to the city of Cleveland’s economy as he is to the Cavaliers.
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13 Reasons Why Stars React To Hannah’s ‘Surprising’ Summer Fling

’13 Reasons Why’ stars Dylan Minnette and Ross Butler react to Hannah and Zach’s secret Season 2 fling.
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Katherine Langford Lets Go Of Hannah Baker In Emotional 13 Reasons Why Farewell

Katherine Langford says goodbye to ’13 Reasons Why’ in an emotional post.
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5 Movies That Are Popular For Reasons You’d Never Expect

By James Kinneen,E.M. Caris,Dan Hopper,Peter I. Santiago  Published: May 23rd, 2018 


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A Media Watchdog Group Calls For Netflix To Remove ’13 Reasons Why’

A media watchdog group is calling on Netflix to pull its “13 Reasons Why” series because of potentially harmful content.


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Netflix Cancels ’13 Reasons Why’ Season 2 Premiere Following Deadly School Shooting At Santa Fe High School

Netflix announced on Friday that they would be canceling the Los Angeles premiere of “13 Reasons Why” Season 2 following the Santa Fe High School shooting that left at least 10 dead earlier in the …


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13 reasons you’ll be spending your summer at the movies

“Deadpool 2” isn’t the only eagerly awaited film this summer.


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Logic And One Republic’s 13 Reasons Why Collab Is A Brooding Plea To ‘Start Again’

Logic and One Republic team up for the brooding new song “Start Again” from the “13 Reasons Why” Season 2 soundtrack.
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New 13 Reasons Why Photos Preview Chilling Season 2 Moments

’13 Reasons Why’ Season 2 photos give an emotional preview of the aftermath of Hannah Baker’s death.
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13 Reasons Why Season 2 Promises ‘The Tapes Were Just The Beginning’ In Clue-Ridden First Trailer

Watch the first teaser trailer for ’13 Reasons Why’ Season 2, which is set to premiere on May 18.
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6 Reasons Why We Love Kelly Clarkson!

It’s basically impossible not to love Kelly Clarkson, with her incredible voice, catchy hit songs and relatable, down-to-earth personality. Watch for Access’ top six reasons why we’re obsessed with the powerhouse singer!


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5 Reasons NOT To Watch Bears Having Sex

5 Reasons NOT To Watch Bears Having Sex

5 Reasons NOT To Watch Bears Having Sex
If you see two bears making sweet sweet love, run away. Run as far as you can. Here’s why.

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’13 Reasons Why’s’ Tommy Dorfman To Host GLAAD’s Rising Stars Luncheon

GLAAD’s 2018 Rising Stars Luncheon is ready to celebrate with
some up-and-coming Hollywood powerhouses.  


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Netflix Is Making These Changes Ahead Of 13 Reasons Why Season 2 After Study Results

Netflix releases ’13 Reasons Why’ study findings and announces changes to season 2.
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3 Reasons Why You Will Not Get Married This Year

Are you one the halal dating scene and wondering why you can’t seem to find your soulmate? Find out the 3 common mistakes single Muslims make when searching for a compatible spouse and how they can overcome it.
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7 Reasons Why Tom Hanks Is Perfect For The Role Of Mr. Rogers

Tom Hanks is set to play Mr. Rogers in the forthcoming biopic “You Are My Friend” about the TV personality’s life and friendship with journalist Tom Junod. The Oscar-winning actor is the perfect choice to take on the role of late “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood” star Fred Rogers. Watch to find out why!


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20 Reasons We Love Joni Mitchell

Timeless songs from a woman of heart and mind
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For 100 Reasons: 100 Series, Book 3 (Unabridged) – Lara Adrian

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For 100 Reasons: 100 Series, Book 3 (Unabridged)

Lara Adrian

Genre: Romance

Price: $ 20.95

Publish Date: October 24, 2017

© ℗ © 2017 Tantor Audio

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’13 Reasons Why’ Actor Uriah Shelton Accused of Kicking Woman in Gut

Uriah Shelton — known for roles on “13 Reasons Why” and “Girl Meets World” — got slapped with a restraining order after he allegedly kicked his sorta girlfriend in the stomach. The woman describes Shelton as an ex-bff with whom she sometimes had sex…

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13 Reasons Why’s Uriah Shelton Slapped With Restraining Order After Allegedly Kicking Friend in Stomach

Uriah Shelton 13 Reasons Why star Uriah Shelton reportedly received a restraining order after he allegedly kicked a friend in the stomach.
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‘The Ring’ Turns 15: 9 Reasons The 2002 Scarefest Is A Total Horror Classic

Fifteen years after its terrifying debut, “The Ring” still totally holds up! AccessHollywood.com counts down nine reasons the 2002 scarefest is just as haunting today as it was when we all had VCRs.


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5 Reasons Beyoncé Slays Us To Our Core

From her fashion to her Grammys, AccessHollywood.com has rounded up the top five reasons Queen Bey wows us!


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6 Reasons ‘Law & Order: SVU’s’ Olivia Benson Is The Hero We Always Needed

“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit’s” Olivia Benson is one badass lady! AccessHollywood.com has rounded up six reasons why she totally rocks!


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Ivanka Trump Is Opening A New Store In Trump Tower, For Obvious Reasons

This is one place that isn’t likely to give her the boot.
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4 Reasons Why Younger Men Love Dating Cougars

Dating preferences are personal and everybody has likes when it comes to dating. In cougar dating, there are willing older women and willing younger men all interested in getting into such kind of relationships. If you have your reasons right, cougar dating can be so much fun.
Relationships:Dating Articles from EzineArticles.com

Top 10 Reasons for Being — and Staying — Monogamous

Monogamy gets a bad rap these days — people say it’s unnatural, impossible, outdated, stifling. And, yes, sometimes it is! Especially if your wedding anniversary now contains two digits. But anything worth fighting for will usually put you through the ringer, and monogamy is no exception. So before your partner’s bad habits drive you to the brink of insanity, or you start taking your fantasies about your hot, young mail carrier a little too seriously, let us remind you of 10 good reasons to keep fighting that good fight by staying true to your one and only.

Note: Please also check out our companion article, Top 10 Reasons for Being — and Staying — Non-Monogamous, in which we state: “Both monogamy and non-monogamy have their pros and cons; in both posts, we’ve tried to focus on the pros. Neither is an attempt at telling you how to be, but rather an encouragement of who you are and how you choose to be.”

1. Sex can improve with time. Monogamy isn’t just about marrying off before everything starts to sag. Age can also mean that you get to know your body better, you become more comfortable in your own skin, you leave youthful insecurities behind, and your partner learns your body so well they could navigate you blindfolded. Given enough time, you and your partner can discover untold routes to your happy place. Why would you want to keep starting from scratch and having to break out the instruction manual all over again?

2. Cuddling comes naturally. There’s no awkward pre-sleep shuffle as you try to find the best spooning position that will be comfortable all night. After years together, your bodies just naturally fall into place around each other.

3. Peace of mind about STDs. Assuming both of you are true to your vows of sexual fidelity, then you don’t have to worry about contracting any (or any more) sexually transmitted infections.

4. Freedom from relentless beauty rituals. We’re not saying that once you make a sexual commitment to someone for the long haul, all thoughts of personal hygiene and grooming should go out the window. In fact, the longer you’ve been married, the nicer it is to regularly gussy yourself up. However, the ridiculous beauty standards people — especially women — are expected to live up to these days are automatically lowered when you spend day after day after day with one partner (thank goodness!).

5. Open relationships are for an elite few. It’s the rare, highly evolved person missing the jealousy gene who can successfully navigate the complicated waters of relationships with an open door policy. We’re not saying it can’t — or shouldn’t — be done, we’re just saying that most of us are mere mortals, ones who thrive with the simple security of the pair bond.

6. Cheating is addictive. It’s kind of like breaking the seal: after you’ve gotten away with it once, it’s even harder not to do again. You convince yourself that the affair made you feel more alive than you’ve felt in years, that it didn’t change your feelings for your spouse, and that what they don’t know won’t hurt them. Lies! First of all, the more often you do it, the more likely you are to get caught, especially as you get cocky about your sneaking-around skills. But more importantly, the more you cheat, the less you will respect your partner (for example, you’ll start to look down on them for being so clueless), and the less you’ll respect your own marriage. Eventually, you’ll start to view all human connections with a cynical eye. And what kind of life is that?

7. Monogamy is good for the world. Being a trusty monogamist is good citizenship as well as good karma: If you’re faithful to your partner, then that’s one less person that someone else’s spouse can cheat with. Monogamists pay it forward!

8. Kink is for couples. Dirty sex — the kind that might involve role-playing or spanking or a little light bondage — is best enjoyed with someone you love and trust completely. Letting a first date tie you up? Not such a good idea. Plus, the more domestic and settled your day-to-day life is, the hotter it is to break out the ping-pong paddle at night.

9. Monogamy is meaningful. “Loyalty.” “Trust.” “Fidelity.” “Honor.” “Respect.” These are all just words, until your actions either give them power and importance or deflate them. Monogamy isn’t meaningful because the church or government says so, and it isn’t meaningful because you wore a pouffy white dress/crisp tux and said you wanted it to be meaningful. Rather, monogamy’s meaning expands with each day that you and your partner commit to it. And that’s some pretty powerful stuff.

10. Scrabble. Enough said.

Want the hard sell on open relationships?
Top 10 Reasons for Being — and Staying — Non-Monogamous

Also on HuffPost:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Gay Voices – The Huffington Post

Chemistry.com gay - First Date 300x250

5 Reasons to Go for Sugar Momma Dating

Do you know that sugar momma dating is one of the most trending dating concepts found nowadays? Well, if not, then know now that more and more men now find dating older women more fun than young girls. And, they have quite a number of solid reasons to go for it.
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5 Reasons Why You Are Only A Hookup And Not A Girlfriend

It is hard to stop being a simple hook up and become his girlfriend. Most of the time, you need to do that with a whole new man.
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3 Reasons To Add More Protein To Your Diet

Research shows that high-quality protein eaten throughout the day can help with weight loss, according to Dr. Melina Jampolis, who says that protein is the starting point for The Doctor On Demand Diet: Your Prescription For Lasting Weight Loss. 

There are three reasons for this:

1. Protein helps keep your blood sugar stable.
When you eat carbohydrate-containing foods, your body breaks them down into simple sugar (glucose) and sends it into your bloodstream. Your pancreas, an organ located behind your stomach, produces the hormone insulin, whose job it is to usher blood sugar into your cells for energy.  

Foods that break down quickly into simple sugars cause a rapid rise in your blood sugar, followed by an equally rapid fall. When blood sugar drops, low blood sugar triggers hunger and dampens your energy level and, often, your mood. This series of events can lead to cravings for sugar and carbohydrates, because sugary foods raise your blood sugar more quickly than other foods. You may have experienced this after eating a high-sugar or high-carb breakfast — a donut, pastry, or bagel with orange juice, for example. Your energy peaked initially due to the large rush of sugar you dumped into your system, but then it dropped just as rapidly, leaving you feeling hungry, low, and craving more sweets.  

Our goal in all phases of the Doctor On Demand Diet is to keep blood sugar relatively stable, because that helps you control hunger and cravings. One of the best ways to do this is to include protein in your meals and snacks.  

2. Protein helps control hunger and cravings. 
Calorie for calorie, protein is more filling than carbohydrates or fat. Research has shown — and I’ve seen it among my patients as well — that on a higher-protein diet, people eat less and feel fuller than when they eat a high-carb diet. This effect may be especially significant with a higher-protein breakfast.

4 Ways To Boost Your Chances Of Slimming Down

3. Protein helps you lose the right kind of weight.
Your goal is to lose fat rather than lean muscle. Various studies have shown that diets higher in protein can help you maintain muscle mass and lose more fat (especially belly fat). This is good for your metabolism, because muscle burns more calories than fat. Having less belly fat also improves your health because excess bely fat is associated with several chronic diseases. 

I don’t advise you to go overboard on protein, or to think that eating protein means helping yourself to large portions of fatty meats, unlimited amounts of nuts, or large portions of full-fat dairy foods. But because protein helps control hunger and keep blood sugar stable throughout the day, it can help you stick to your healthy eating plan and feel good along the way. That’s why I recommend eating some form of protein with every meal and most of your snacks.  

Modified excerpt from The Doctor On Demand Diet: Your Prescription For Lasting Weight Loss by Melina Jampolis, MD (Ghost Mountain Books). Ghost Mountain Books, Inc., along with Doctor on Demand, is owned, in part, by Dr. Phillip C. McGraw and Jay McGraw.

Join Doctor On Demand and Dr. Jampolis for a Twitter Q&A Thursday, 11/12, from 11am-noon PST. Submit your questions using #AskDrMelina. 

Also on HuffPost:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Dr. Phil – The Huffington Post

3 Reasons To Add More Protein To Your Diet

Research shows that high-quality protein eaten throughout the day can help with weight loss, according to Dr. Melina Jampolis, who says that protein is the starting point for The Doctor On Demand Diet: Your Prescription For Lasting Weight Loss. 

There are three reasons for this:

1. Protein helps keep your blood sugar stable.
When you eat carbohydrate-containing foods, your body breaks them down into simple sugar (glucose) and sends it into your bloodstream. Your pancreas, an organ located behind your stomach, produces the hormone insulin, whose job it is to usher blood sugar into your cells for energy.  

Foods that break down quickly into simple sugars cause a rapid rise in your blood sugar, followed by an equally rapid fall. When blood sugar drops, low blood sugar triggers hunger and dampens your energy level and, often, your mood. This series of events can lead to cravings for sugar and carbohydrates, because sugary foods raise your blood sugar more quickly than other foods. You may have experienced this after eating a high-sugar or high-carb breakfast — a donut, pastry, or bagel with orange juice, for example. Your energy peaked initially due to the large rush of sugar you dumped into your system, but then it dropped just as rapidly, leaving you feeling hungry, low, and craving more sweets.  

Our goal in all phases of the Doctor On Demand Diet is to keep blood sugar relatively stable, because that helps you control hunger and cravings. One of the best ways to do this is to include protein in your meals and snacks.  

2. Protein helps control hunger and cravings. 
Calorie for calorie, protein is more filling than carbohydrates or fat. Research has shown — and I’ve seen it among my patients as well — that on a higher-protein diet, people eat less and feel fuller than when they eat a high-carb diet. This effect may be especially significant with a higher-protein breakfast.

4 Ways To Boost Your Chances Of Slimming Down

3. Protein helps you lose the right kind of weight.
Your goal is to lose fat rather than lean muscle. Various studies have shown that diets higher in protein can help you maintain muscle mass and lose more fat (especially belly fat). This is good for your metabolism, because muscle burns more calories than fat. Having less belly fat also improves your health because excess bely fat is associated with several chronic diseases. 

I don’t advise you to go overboard on protein, or to think that eating protein means helping yourself to large portions of fatty meats, unlimited amounts of nuts, or large portions of full-fat dairy foods. But because protein helps control hunger and keep blood sugar stable throughout the day, it can help you stick to your healthy eating plan and feel good along the way. That’s why I recommend eating some form of protein with every meal and most of your snacks.  

Modified excerpt from The Doctor On Demand Diet: Your Prescription For Lasting Weight Loss by Melina Jampolis, MD (Ghost Mountain Books). Ghost Mountain Books, Inc., along with Doctor on Demand, is owned, in part, by Dr. Phillip C. McGraw and Jay McGraw.

Join Doctor On Demand and Dr. Jampolis for a Twitter Q&A Thursday, 11/12, from 11am-noon PST. Submit your questions using #AskDrMelina. 

Also on HuffPost:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Dr. Phil – The Huffington Post

10 Reasons I Quit Online Dating

Like basically every person alive right now, I tried online dating. I figured if I wasn’t on there, I was missing out, missing an opportunity and missing finding my person.

2015-11-09-1447077860-3327227-Barrett_4964.jpg

I tried everything from tindr, to Jswipe, to grindr, to every other word that is missing an “e” in it.

I made lots of matches, talked to lots of “interesting” men and even went on a fair number of first dates.

However, after partaking in my own dating experiment, during which I went on one date every night for a week, and two dates on Friday, I finally reached my ultimate conclusion.

Online dating just isn’t for me.

I want to preface that for everything I say, I know there are a ton of people who will disagree, and have the relationships to prove it, but as I ventured into and out of the virtual dating sphere I found out a lot about myself. Additionally, I know my experiment might sound extreme, but I needed something extreme to happen for me to really give it up once and for all.

This is what I found out:

1. I Was Bored

If you’ve ever been on any of these apps, gay or straight, you know that most of your hunting, swiping and searching is done when you are bored. If you live in a cosmopolitan like myself then chances are you aren’t necessarily bored a lot because you have work, friends, fitness and a ton of other things constantly at your disposal, but boredom somehow creeps up on you. All of a sudden you’re bored at work, bored at home, bored with your friends, bored at the gym. I think you catch my drift.

Life just isn’t as exciting as you want it to be, and the thought that maybe just around the next swipe is the person you’ve been searching for all along is exciting.

However, the problem arises when you finally do get excited, but continue to keep swiping because why not?

2. No One Was Ever Who I Thought They Were

As you make matches, swipe past people and possibly converse you start to build an idea of who the person is on the other side of the phone. You create an ideal, and all of a sudden every little nuance becomes a bigger complexity to who that person is, and how they operate.

You can’t help, but think, “Damn, where have you been all my life?”

And then bam.

Mister Amazing loses his luster. He either starts creeping real hard, says something that throws everything off, disappears or just never decides to meet up.

If by some crazy force of nature you guys do set a date and meet, chances are he is not who he claimed to be, or who you built him up to be.

His confident demeanor is replaced with one that is far less interesting, and not having the phone as an easy buffer shows you a much different person than the one you thought you had been chatting with.

This is why after 6 first dates in 5 days, I not once found myself wanting a second date.

3. I Am Pickier Online Than In Real Life

Having someone be presented essentially as a two-dimensional option, rather than a real life opportunity makes them feel much more disposable. I know personally, I looked at everything: from what you said on your profile, to how you said it, to what pictures you picked to best represent you with not just a little bit of judgment, but a lot.

There was no energy, no butterflies, no eyes from across the room to say, “Hey, wait there’s something special about this one, and we can’t put our fingers on it.”

It was all brain, and no heart in who I decided to virtually flirt with. You literally became a resume that I could toss into the trash pile without any real thought, or feeling, which isn’t how finding our potential partner should work.

4. I Became Way More Shallow

Sure, whether it’s real life or virtual reality, the first thing you notice is how someone looks, but in a real life, you quickly see how someone acts, moves, sounds, etc.

These other important attributes are what creates someone individuality, and takes them from being just anyone to uniquely them.

If I didn’t like what I saw, I was quick to swipe left. No thought other than, nope, not what I think I like. Hair, eyes, skin color, height, weight all became your stats in a world where I had never used statistics to make my choice of who I might be interested in.

Yes, all those things did and do continue to play a part of who I am interested in, but online they became all I saw, and I left little room to be more open-minded than had I been meeting these gentlemen in person.

Sometimes you just don’t know you’re best angles, and sometimes you do, which is why I always say buyer beware when it comes to what you think you’re getting online.

5. I Don’t Like Games

And that’s exactly what all these things are, games.

While none of these apps call themselves games, it doesn’t take much effort to realize that that is exactly what they are. Video games, if you will, where you become the player, and everyone else is the game.

There are rules, directions and even moments asking if you’d like to chat, or “keep playing.”

They say don’t hate the player, hate the game, and that is exactly what ended up happening for me. I hated the game and playing only made me like myself less and less.

6. I Wasn’t Honoring My Truth

Going off the idea that these things are a game with rules, I quickly found myself changing who I was to best “win” at the game.

I was holding myself back, I was playing up certain parts of myself, and playing down other characteristics, all so I could be more “desirable.”

I became who I thought I was supposed to be, not who I was. I acted more way casual, and less emotional than I really am. I put only the best pictures of myself out there, but not what I look like when I wake up in the morning.

I filtered myself in basically every way, and took what makes me uniquely special out of the equation, so I could be more “marketable.” That isn’t sexy, romantic or interesting. It’s dishonest, dull and way too technical for something that shouldn’t be so systematic.

7. I Wasn’t Happy

While I didn’t realize this till months later, I was simply unhappy with my life. I was using the idea of dating as an escape from my own life because well, it’s an easy distraction, and even easier the more venues, or apps, you have to keep the hunt alive.

I don’t think this is necessarily true for everyone facilitating these tools, but I do think it’s way more common than many people realize.

It’s another numbing device in the avoidance of ourselves. Focusing your attention on others as a way to not look in the mirror, and find what is truly wrong, hurting or uncomfortable at this moment in our own lives.

It’s really easy to think that when you find someone a lot of your issues will just subside or disappear, but the truth is until you start to work on you, you’ll never be happy, coupled up or single.

One of the hardest things to do is look in the mirror and be honest with yourself because there usually is a lot of sadness, confusion and disappointment. However, when you finally admit this to yourself, you take the first step to changing all of that.

8. It Made Me Crazy

Thinking about who I could meet, having numerous conversations with multiple people and trying to keep up with all of it was exhausting.

Call me old-fahsioned, but I think there is something beyond romantic about meeting someone, one person, and courting each other. Finding out about each other, focusing on just him and seeing where it could go.

Having Larry, Moe and Curly in the wings just kept me unnecessarily anxious, unfocused and a part of the three stooges.

Call me crazy because I for thinking I wanted to, or could juggle that many men at one time.

9. I Wanted A Relationship/Boyfriend

I know many people will disagree with me when discussing this topic, but hear me out.

As I chatted, met and repeated each of these steps with guy after guy, and there even was one named, Guy, I found myself constantly sitting across the table from someone, who wasn’t on my page.

Maybe it was the guys I was swiping right to, the app I was choosing to facilitate or any other number of reasons, but it seemed like most of these men didn’t actually want a relationship.

They wanted something, but not a relationship.

They wanted validation. They wanted attention. They wanted someone to have dinner, a conversation or sex with, but not actually a relationship.

Essentially, they wanted to win the game, by winning me over, and that was that.

Winning meant different things to different people, but it never felt like there was two winners at the end of it all, and in my opinion, there is no point in taking part in anything where you don’t have two winners.

I know that life won’t always make this the outcome, and that’s ok, but to go into anything with only your wants, needs and desires in mind, sets you and your potential partner up for a lose/lose situation.

I truly believe it’s either two winners, or two losers and the later played out far too frequently in this unwinnable game.

10. It Just Isn’t For Me

In the end we all have the right to do, act and say as we please, but as I had swam through the never ending pool of virtual daters, I found myself tired, numb and even more bored than when I had started.

I didn’t like the shallow conversations I was having to have over and over again. I didn’t like the lack of emotion that was fostered through staring at my screen for hours, and I didn’t like that I felt bad day after day about not finding what I had been searching for.

After being off all dating apps for about a year, I can honestly say I am more at peace with my life, my love life and myself. I have met some great guys in real life, “organically,” if you will, who have showed me that there are some great ones still out there, and you don’t need to be staring at your screen to find them.

Frankly, you need to be doing the opposite. Look up, look around you, look all over. There are great, funny, interesting individuals all over the place: at work, on the subway, in the grocery store, on the street. The key is to just get over yourself, and say hi.

Yes, you might get rejected, but that’s ok!

We let so many people walk right past us, sit down next to us, and stare at us, but never take a leap of faith and say hi because we don’t have a buffer. Forget about the buffer, forget about your pride, forget about everything because when you see someone in real life, and they give you butterflies, you need to honor that feeling and fly with them.

Dating isn’t a game, there shouldn’t be rules, and the longer you stay a player the longer you just get stuck playing a video game.

I’m not saying quit everything all at once, but I am saying that if the thought of doing that scares you, you’re probably addicted and actually do need one big break from all of them.

Enjoy the process, enjoy your time and most importantly enjoy yourself because until you do, no one else is going to enjoy you either.

Finding inner peace shows, and will create peace in all other aspects of your life. Whether it’s dating, relationships or work confidence is gold.

Good luck, and happy dating.

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8 Reasons Men Need A Detox From Dating After A Breakup

After a breakup, you need a mental and physical detox to help you process your new reality. It’s not only beneficial to you, but to the next love of your life who comes along. 

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Live From Las Vegas! 17 Reasons The First Democrat Presidential Debate Will Be The Most Exciting One Yet!

Live From Las Vegas! 17 Reasons The First Democrat Presidential Debate Will Be The Most Exciting One Yet!

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7 Reasons Diets Fail

Watch the video above as Dr. Phil reveals the seven reasons diets fail, and why his 20/20 Diet could help Heather, a mom who tragically lost her mother and one of her daughters within months of each other, succeed in a return to health. 

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1. Hunger: You get tired of feeling hungry all the time. So you rebel.

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2. Cravings: You consistently crave certain tastes like salty, sweet, or tart. So you rebel.

3. Feelings of restriction: You feel like you can’t eat out, go anywhere or do anything, because you’re on a diet. Plus, you’re so panicked about what you can and can’t eat and when you should or shouldn’t eat it that your focus on food becomes all-consuming. So you rebel.

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4. Impracticality and expense: Between your job, the kids, stress, and life — you feel like you just can’t get it all done and stick to a diet, especially one that’s too complicated, expensive and requires you to count calories or nutritional values. So you rebel.

5. Boredom: You get sick of eating the same foods day in and day out. So you rebel.

8 Foods That Could Actually Make You Feel Hungrier

6. Temptations: Because your environment isn’t fail-safe, you are overwhelmed by your desire for the tempting food all around you. So you rebel.

7. Inconsistent results and plateaus: You get discouraged because the weight loss is not consistent. Or, you lose weight but then your progress comes to a screeching halt. So you rebel.

Why Your Body May Be Refusing To Drop Weight No Matter What You Do

Dr. Phil explains that he wouldn’t release a new diet book until he could offer solutions to these seven problems, until he had a plan that would not be sabotaged by these seven flaws that have caused many others to fail to reach their weight loss goals. That’s exactly what The 20/20 Diet: 20 Key Foods To Help You Succeed Where Other Diets Fail is designed to do. Find out more about The 20/20 Diet here.

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Dr. Phil – The Huffington Post

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5 Reasons To Stop Pointing Your Pitchforks At ‘The Fat Jew’

The Fat Jew, aka Instagram star Josh Ostrovsky, has had a rough week. Accused by an ever-growing number of comedians and Internet creatives for stealing their work, he’s been called a Bogartist, a “hacky joke thief,” and “pure trash,” among other, less kind terms. Until now, he hasn’t said much of anything in his own defense.

In an interview with Vulture, we learned how he runs his 5.7-million-follower operation, and why he doesn’t consider himself a thief. 

Here’s why The Fat Jew thinks you should change your mind about him.

1. He knows why everyone is mad.

“I get it: I should have been providing attribution for all posts,” he told Vulture’s Jesse David Fox. “I now realize that if I couldn’t find a source for something, I probably shouldn’t have posted it in the first place.” 

2. He’s trying to add image credits, and correct misleading ones.

He’s got over 3,200 posts on Instagram as of this writing, the majority of which aren’t credited. “My email address is up. I urge people to reach out and say, ‘That’s my thing.’ I would love to give credit,” Ostrovsky said. Recalling the moment comedian Davon Magwood — who’s been vocal in the debate over crediting – contacted him, Ostrovsky explained:

“He reached out and was like, ‘Dude,’ and I was like, ‘Dude,’ and gave him credit.”

If he can’t figure out who created something, he assured Fox he’d take those photos down. Or one of his interns would — apparently he’s got “an army” of them “working out of the back of a nail salon in Queens.”

3. He doesn’t consider himself a comedian.

“I come from a writing background. That was my genesis,” Ostrovsky stated, adding later on that he’s consistently maintained himself to be “a commentator,” “a curator,” or a “performance artist.” 

It was never my intention for anyone to think all of this was mine. I want people to shine. I like when like some Monster Energy-wearing weirdo emails me and says, ‘You put up my tweet, now I’m the most popular kid in my school.’ That’s amazing, that’s what I’m going for.

 

4. He wants to be “a trusted voice of pop culture.”

While he has created his own content — be it a video of himself teaching a spin class for the homeless, or “sitting in hot tubs of guacamole” — Ostrovsky hopes people see him as a guy who sometimes makes funny stuff, and sometimes just comments on it. 

“It’s about shining light on things that are chill and taking a piss on things that are ridiculous,” he told Fox. In addition, Ostrovsky vehemently denies ever cropping out credit information on any of his posts himself, or knowingly stealing a joke.

“That’s not who I am or what I’m about.”

5. He understands how the Internet — and his own attitude — has changed since “The Fat Jew” got started.

Fox brought up a 2009 incident in which Ostrovsky publicly gave out comedian David Cross’ phone number — a huge no-no. These days, he’d never consider pulling the same stunt.

“I realize my voice has power, and I want to use it in a responsible way that everybody feels good about,” he explained, adding that “social change” stuff isn’t normally his speed.

“Taking this seriously is definitely a different perspective for me … If this situation is a part of Internet history, I just want to make sure that in 10 years, I’m on the right side of it,” he said.

To read the whole interview — it’s worth it – head to Vulture.

 

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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10 Reasons Why You Need To Experience Afropunk Fest: Present By The Odd Side

One year ago, we took a trip through New York City to cover Afropunk Fest. The music festival, located at the Barry Commodore Park in Brooklyn, was something very unique compared to the several festivals we have covered. Armed with innovative street style, the love of music and open minds, concert-goers were able to come together and show a completely different side of culture for Blacks in this country. Along with an ever-growing yearly line-up that features superstars that represent it’s culture, the experience itself makes Afropunk a gem in NYC. One year later, the festival is expanding internationally. There was an inaugural festival in Paris as well as another that will happen in Atlanta on October 3rd.

There are several reasons why Afropunk is a one of coolest festivals during the summer, and we’re here to give you some dope reasons why you need to experience this weekend. Here are 10 reasons why you need to experience Afropunk Fest:

1. Afropunk’s yearly lineups are unique to it’s culture

Every year, Afropunk has supplied a lineup featuring artists that help empower the culture. From Danny Brown to Bad Brains, the festival always showcase a diverse group of music artists with similar attributes. There’s only one place you will find D’Angelo, Shabbazz Palaces, and HO9909 all in one place. This year, the lineup is far more stacked, including artists Lauryn Hill, Kaytranada, Kelis, Goldlink, and a hell of a lot more.tumblr_inline_nr4keegpzB1r1sixa_500

2. There’s some really good Hip Hop acts.

They might not be superstars like Rick Ross or Drake, but several rappers that come to Afropunk are great additions to the festival. Don’t think these are your normal rap acts either, you end up hearing diverse sounds and seeing some beautifully insane moments here. Afropunk is the type of place where many have seen hip hop performances ranging from Jean Grae to Das Racist. It is also the type of place where you see moments like this happen:

Afropunk

3.  The DJ’s are sick!

Along with a diverse lineup of artists comes a diverse list of DJs at Afropunk. The Gold Stage is where most of these destructive disk jockeys kill the turntables. From Samba, to Reggae, to Trap music, your ears will explore new terrains and will get you moving along with the other hundreds of people grooving. There’s nothing like a group of people getting more energized throughout one DJ’s set, no matter what genre of music it is. Once you get done with a sick performance, this is the place to be for breaks.

Clip from A-Ra

4. There are some legendary acts there

As said before, Afropunk brings in legendary musicians that help fire the culture. Every year there seems to be a incredibly extraordinary artist headlining the festival. Last year it was D’Angelo, the year before it was Chuck D and Questlove, the list goes on. The bigger this fest gets, the more innovative the headliners are. Really! Who would expect Grace Jones and Lenny Kravitz to have performances this year?

D' Angelo and the Vanguard at Afropunk 2014

5. There’s nothing but love here.

One major thing about this festival is that there are no barriers between festival goers. One of the most important things about Afropunk is that there is no type of hate promote on the grounds. They even have a couple banners to prove it. That means no homophobia, racism, “fatphobia”, you name it. None of that is allowed here, and it keeps the interactions fans positive.  You might just make a couple of friends in a mosh pit made to some band you never heard of.

6. Soulection will make an appearance this year (Lakim x Goldlink)

One of fastest growing music collectives online happens to be Soulection. From Sango to Esta, there’s a long list of artists that have contributed to bring an all new sound to modern music. Although Soulection won’t be as deep as they normally are in NYC, Lakim and Goldlink will be killing different stages for the squad. We’ve already encountered both artists in DC last month, so we already have high expectations for these two performances.

7. Don’t sleep on the rock bands

There might be some dope hip hop artists at this festival, but don’t shy away from the bands that perform there either. They provide some of the most energetic performances at Afropunk. There are some really good acts that come here every year too, like TV on the Radio or Bad Brains. The rock bands are truly one of the factors that make the festival full of life.

8. The street style here is dope

Looking at people’s clothes may not be the amped reason to go to Afropunk, but it definitely is a nice addition to the experience. The urban terrain gives several fans the opportunity to show out during the weekend. You might not find this many people with unique outfits in one place until next year. We anticipate it being even more cooler this year. There have been several publications that have mentioned Afropunk about the diverse street style alone.

9. Afropunk showcases a ton of art. 

Along with the music, street style, and DJ’ing, Afropunk also showcases some dope art. Most of it is located at one spot on festival grounds, but you still come across some extremely dope images while you travel from stage to stage.

 

Photo from streetartnyc.org

Photo from streetartnyc.org

Captured By Vance Brinkley

AfroPunk Fest 2014

10. Afropunk tries to take on social issues

Many people may be familiar with Afropunk because of its musical acts, innovative street style from festival goers, and the culture. However, this festival tries to also promote the importance giving festival goers knowledge about modern issues in our society. You’ll find a ton of different booths at Activism Row in the entrance of Barry Commodore Park. Not many festivals attempt to inspire people to actually stay informed about what problems are going on outside of them.

We will be at Afropunk once again this year to cover some the festivities. Keep it locked at AllHipHop for performances, street style, interviews, and much more.

Filed under: Features Tagged: 2015, Afropunk, D’angelo, Danny Brown, Das Racist, DJ, GoldLink, HO99O9, Jean Grae, Lakim, Soulection, SZA
AllHipHop

Heidi Montag Recreates One Of Kim K’s Famous Bikini Shots For Reasons We’ll Never Know

Former “The Hills” star Heidi Montag has recreated one of Kim Kardashian’s most famous bikini photos.

Why? Could it be an attempt to stay relevant? Was it born out of a constant need for attention? 

Well, according to Us Weekly, the 28-year-old posed for the Kardashian-inspired pic in honor of her husband Spencer Pratt’s 32nd birthday.

That’s love, guys. That, right there, is love. 

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Style – The Huffington Post
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8 Reasons Young Girls Of The ’90s Needed Jessie Spano

“Saved by the Bell” premiered 26 years ago, which means you’re old. 

In some ways, not much has changed since Zack, Kelly, Screech and the gang roamed the halls of Bayside High School — crop tops are back, cheeseburgers never left and overdosing on caffeine pills still isn’t recommended. In other ways, many of the plot-lines and certain dialogue couldn’t exist today. You’d never see Zack hit on the school nurse or hear a laughtrack following Slater’s sexist jokes in 2015. 

It’s understandable, then, that the show’s portrayal of sexism, and therefore feminism, has been criticized in more recent years. Jessie Spano was an outspoken feminist who was whiney, neurotic and purposely characterized as less attractive than easy-breezy Kelly Kapowski. Jessie’s character didn’t help the case for feminism being a positive thing, and she didn’t make the word “feminist” seem like one young girls would want to wear.

But, it’s important to remember: it was the ’90s. “Feminist” wasn’t a term you heard as commonly in mainstream pop culture as you do now, and there certainly weren’t tons of young female characters on television overtly claiming the feminist label. Flawed or not, Jessie’s commitment to equality influential on young viewers, including myself. Here’s why:

1. She dated Bayside’s biggest chauvinist AC Slater, but called him out constantly.

2. She set the record straight on labels, reminding AC not to call her “babe” or “chick.” She gave young women watching permission to femine what’s demeaning to them, or not.

3. She challenged masculinity and demonstrated why “macho” isn’t something to strive for…

4. … And again:

5. She called out unfair societal norms:

6. And confronted gender roles:

7. She tried her hand at acting “girly,” and ultimately decided she was better off being true to herself. 

8. She was aware of social inequality, and didn’t let her friends lose sight of their own privilege.

Bless your feminist heart, Jessie Spano.

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11 Reasons You Shouldn’t Regret Divorcing In Your 20s

If you’re a twenty-something divorcé, your marital status may not be something you enjoy discussing. “It was rash decision but we were in love at the time,” you might tell those who ask about it. 

But instead of dwelling on the negative and shying away from the subject, why not focus on all the things you learned from the marriage? To that end, we recently asked HuffPost readers and bloggers to share the biggest lesson they took away from divorcing in their 20s.  

1. You learn what love is — and what it isn’t. 

“My 20s was a decade of epic mistakes. Looking back, I see how I was forcing perfection out of a truly toxic situation. Our doom was inevitable. Do I regret the marriage? Absolutely not. It taught me a hell of a lot about love. Did I rethink my next steps? Oh, hell yes.” – Amy Kristine 

2. You learn it’s better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. 

“The greatest thing I learned from my marriage at 23 and the ensuing divorce is that it’s better to wait for exactly what you want than settle. Nothing is more lonely than being with the wrong person. I don’t think I’d understand that without my divorce. Today I’m much more content waiting for the right one knowing full well that person will absolutely be worth the wait.”  – Joni Erdmann, blogger at Abandon Status Quo 

3. You discover that love isn’t enough to keep a marriage afloat.

“I learned that love is not enough. You have to trust — really trust — your partner.” – Susie Moore, life coach 

4. You learn that divorce can strike again.  

“Getting divorced is painful. But good things come from pain, even if you’re not Adele winning Grammys from it. Perspective is a very valuable thing. You realize that getting divorced is not like getting the chickenpox. You’re not immune after you have a divorce under your belt. It can happen again. Hopefully you learn a lot from the divorce and end up being one of those people who’s happy and fulfilled in middle age because you wised up when you were younger.” – Jessica Wernz, blogger at Everyone Gets Divorced  

5. You gain some perspective on your own shortcomings.

“I figured out what areas of myself I need to work on most as a spouse (going with the flow, compromise, patience). My second marriage has benefited immeasurably because of my first experience.”  – Susie Moore

6. The experience can spur on personal reinvention. 

“Dealing with the catastrophe of divorce shook everything up and made me get creative — I’d never have started my own business without it! Divorce in your 20s teaches you that you can’t procrastinate in life: Get on with it, live, love, marry, divorce, have your babies and get into all kinds of scrapes. It’s what you don’t do that you regret. Excessive caution is the path to a lonely and rather dull life of stunning mediocrity. So far, I’ve had a blast and I have no regrets.” — Ayesha Vardag

7. You might have some great kids to show from it. 

“I was in love. I wouldn’t change a thing; I got a beautiful daughter out of it.” — Paul Can’tu  

8. You learn what to do — and not do — the next time around.  

“My first marriage gave me the knowledge of what not to do in my next. My divorce forced me to look at myself in another light. In the end, I don’t regret it because there is no point in living with regret.” – Aly Marie 

9. Being on your own again is a crash course in independence.

“Life outside of a relationship made me more independent. In just a years time, I have purchased a new home and a new car. I got to make my own decisions and choose where I wanted to live. It was such a overwhelming feeling to rely on myself. It’s the little things even like going to get groceries and finally buy what I want and not have to worry about someone else. I’m thankful it happened; it made me more appreciative of who I am and what I can do for myself.” — Alicia Marie Caballero 

10. In spite of all the outside judgement, you learn that leaving is sometimes the best, healthiest choice.  

“My marriage lasted a year and a half but it taught me how important it is to communicate all the time and about everything. Many people judge you for being  divorced so young but being aware that the relationship was not healthy and leaving was the best decision I could have made for both of us.” – Dijana, blogger at The Funny Nanny 

11. You learn that life goes on. 

“Marrying in my early 20s and getting divorced in my mid-20s had its advantages. It was a good conversation starter — especially during those seven or eight months when my ex and I had split up but were still legally married. (It’s always amusing to answer ‘well, sort of!’ when a person asks you if you’re married.) But the best thing about an early 20s divorce is that you quickly learn a lesson that can take other people years to realize: Even when you feel like your entire world has fallen apart, it hasn’t. You will be OK.” — Jessica Wernz, blogger at Everyone Gets Divorced  

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10 Reasons Why Having Your Campaign Poster Photo-Shopped Is A Good Thing

It’s election time in Canada and the Liberal Party of Canada has a new look for their campaign posters. They’ve been getting a lot of attention, particularly this modification of the candidate for Quebec’s LaSalle-Émard-Verdun riding’s poster, David Lametti.

2015-08-19-1439996483-8493487-LamettiGowron.PNG

Yup, that’s the Klingon leader Gowron, the son of M’Rel and the leader of the Klingon Empire. Quite the comparison!

Lametti’s been having fun with the attention this has been getting (the man who first created the poster even has a twitter handle: @liberalgowron), and so I thought I’d ask him, in the vein of David Letterman, to give us his Top 10 Reasons Why Having Your Campaign Poster Photo-Shopped is a Good thing. Here are his answers:

10. The photo-shopped posters create dialogue. People are talking about our posters, and the Liberals invite debate, discussion and dialogue.

9. People are more creative with our posters than with the other parties. Our posters are not bland, they stand out. With that we get people who will either love them or hate them, and people are at least being creative and interactive with the liberal posters, instead of just ignoring them like the NDP or Conservative ones.

8. The humour decreases the intensity of the poster. Some people have commented that the posters look too intense. I don’t agree with that, but having some fun with them certainly balances that out.

7. Having more and better hair than I’ve had before.

6. Free publicity. Thanks @liberalgowron

5. It shows that the Liberal team has a sense of humour. We take this in stride and laugh about it.

4. Ups Canada’s potential for a strategic alliance with the Romulans.

3. My former students would say I’m a tough marker but at least I’m not a Klingon.

2. Comic con’s been calling.

1. I’d still vote for a Klingon over Prime Minister Harper.

Maybe he’ll live long and prosper.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Comedy – The Huffington Post
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11 Reasons You Shouldn’t Regret Divorcing In Your 20s

If you’re a twenty-something divorcé, your marital status may not be something you enjoy discussing. “It was rash decision but we were in love at the time,” you might tell those who ask about it. 

But instead of dwelling on the negative and shying away from the subject, why not focus on all the things you learned from the marriage? To that end, we recently asked HuffPost readers and bloggers to share the biggest lesson they took away from divorcing in their 20s.  

1. You learn what love is — and what it isn’t. 

“My 20s was a decade of epic mistakes. Looking back, I see how I was forcing perfection out of a truly toxic situation. Our doom was inevitable. Do I regret the marriage? Absolutely not. It taught me a hell of a lot about love. Did I rethink my next steps? Oh, hell yes.” – Amy Kristine 

2. You learn it’s better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. 

“The greatest thing I learned from my marriage at 23 and the ensuing divorce is that it’s better to wait for exactly what you want than settle. Nothing is more lonely than being with the wrong person. I don’t think I’d understand that without my divorce. Today I’m much more content waiting for the right one knowing full well that person will absolutely be worth the wait.”  – Joni Erdmann, blogger at Abandon Status Quo 

3. You discover that love isn’t enough to keep a marriage afloat.

“I learned that love is not enough. You have to trust — really trust — your partner.” – Susie Moore, life coach 

4. You learn that divorce can strike again.  

“Getting divorced is painful. But good things come from pain, even if you’re not Adele winning Grammys from it. Perspective is a very valuable thing. You realize that getting divorced is not like getting the chickenpox. You’re not immune after you have a divorce under your belt. It can happen again. Hopefully you learn a lot from the divorce and end up being one of those people who’s happy and fulfilled in middle age because you wised up when you were younger.” – Jessica Wernz, blogger at Everyone Gets Divorced  

5. You gain some perspective on your own shortcomings.

“I figured out what areas of myself I need to work on most as a spouse (going with the flow, compromise, patience). My second marriage has benefited immeasurably because of my first experience.”  – Susie Moore

6. The experience can spur on personal reinvention. 

“Dealing with the catastrophe of divorce shook everything up and made me get creative — I’d never have started my own business without it! Divorce in your 20s teaches you that you can’t procrastinate in life: Get on with it, live, love, marry, divorce, have your babies and get into all kinds of scrapes. It’s what you don’t do that you regret. Excessive caution is the path to a lonely and rather dull life of stunning mediocrity. So far, I’ve had a blast and I have no regrets.” — Ayesha Vardag

7. You might have some great kids to show from it. 

“I was in love. I wouldn’t change a thing; I got a beautiful daughter out of it.” — Paul Can’tu  

8. You learn what to do — and not do — the next time around.  

“My first marriage gave me the knowledge of what not to do in my next. My divorce forced me to look at myself in another light. In the end, I don’t regret it because there is no point in living with regret.” – Aly Marie 

9. Being on your own again is a crash course in independence.

“Life outside of a relationship made me more independent. In just a years time, I have purchased a new home and a new car. I got to make my own decisions and choose where I wanted to live. It was such a overwhelming feeling to rely on myself. It’s the little things even like going to get groceries and finally buy what I want and not have to worry about someone else. I’m thankful it happened; it made me more appreciative of who I am and what I can do for myself.” — Alicia Marie Caballero 

10. In spite of all the outside judgement, you learn that leaving is sometimes the best, healthiest choice.  

“My marriage lasted a year and a half but it taught me how important it is to communicate all the time and about everything. Many people judge you for being  divorced so young but being aware that the relationship was not healthy and leaving was the best decision I could have made for both of us.” – Dijana, blogger at The Funny Nanny 

11. You learn that life goes on. 

“Marrying in my early 20s and getting divorced in my mid-20s had its advantages. It was a good conversation starter — especially during those seven or eight months when my ex and I had split up but were still legally married. (It’s always amusing to answer ‘well, sort of!’ when a person asks you if you’re married.) But the best thing about an early 20s divorce is that you quickly learn a lesson that can take other people years to realize: Even when you feel like your entire world has fallen apart, it hasn’t. You will be OK.” — Jessica Wernz, blogger at Everyone Gets Divorced  

More from HuffPost: 

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He’s Separated, Now What? 5 Reasons You Should Avoid Dating A Man Who’s Not Divorced

However, what if the man you just met seems to be your perfect soul mate but… there is a problem. He is separated and not yet divorced? Now what? Should you pursue the relationship and take the risk for the sake of what could be love, or should you walk away? The choice is, of course, entirely yours, but chances are that the relationship will be greatly challenging and unlikely to work for a number of reasons:
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13 Reasons A Divorce Is Anything But A Failure

Most of us marry with the best of intentions: kids, a scrappy dog from the pound, a happy, healthy home — and when the kids are older, growing old and gray together. 

No one goes into a marriage expecting to divorce — but it happens. And if does happen (to you, or someone you love), calling the split a “failed marriage” is pretty off the mark. There were undoubtedly happy times in the marriage, kids may have been brought into the world, and more than likely, the couple spent a good deal of time trying to repair the relationship before deciding to divorce.

As a reminder that good can come of a marriage ending, we asked our readers on Facebook to share how they feel about the idea that divorce is a failure – and to share the reasons their marriages were of value, even if they didn’t last. See what they had to say below. 

 1. It was a stepping stone to a better life. 

“My ‘failed’ marriage made me who I am today. The marriage wasn’t a failure. It was a necessary stepping stone. It was a relationship, full of choices, some with unfortunate outcomes. It ended for various reasons but my children, the life lessons and the growth I’ve shown since have all been successes.”  – Aubrey Keefer

2. Spending decades with one person is hardly a “failure.”  

3. A marriage where your needs aren’t met teaches you the importance of self-care.

“I didn’t fail at marriage. I gave everything I had to my marriage. I failed myself. I let my marriage become the only thing that mattered, risking my own health in the process.” — Beth Ellen Vasquez 

4. Sometimes, losing a marriage means regaining your health. 

“After we separated, I had two surgeries I needed. I had avoided taking care of myself for so long.” —  Kris Russ 

5. You and your ex had great times together.

“Why wasn’t my marriage a failure? Because when it was good, it was what people dream of having…” – Maia Benusis

6. It provides a chance to reinvent yourself. 

“My unexpected divorce and job loss earlier this year has given me a wonderful opportunity to spend quality time with my beautiful teenagers, reinvent my life and rediscover the true me. That’s a great opportunity at 50, not failure.” – Liz Kay

 7. Two words: Your kids. 

8. Divorce forces you to become a stronger, more effective parent. 
“Divorce made me discover the much-needed strength I had buried deep inside of me for my two boys and for myself.” — Jen Elnar Parker 

9. Think of it this way: Your relationship just had an expiration date. 

“I prefer to think my marriage was successful, it simply had a surprising and unexpected expiration date. After being married for 30 years, it took a couple of years post-divorce to come to this conclusion!”  -– Vicki Richards 

10. You put in everything to make it work. 

“I gave it my best. My children told me they just wanted to see me happy and these days, I’m happy.” – Carrie Spence

11. You might become a better person and parent after divorce. 

“Along with two amazing kids, I have a better relationship now with their mom than when we were married. We’ve given up a shared house and bed for being better people — in my mind that’s as big a win as we can get.” – Bill Lennan

12. You shouldn’t be living life on a pass-fail basis, anyway. 

13.  You learned the value of self-preservation. 

“I got out alive and have rebuilt my life into something better. I learned the lessons that I needed to learn and I’m a better person for it. I’ve always been giving and loyal and willing to do anything for the people I loved but my marriage taught me that you don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Now I can teach my daughter that while helping people is wonderful, you always put on your own oxygen mask first.” – Kate Fruehling

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Gay Voices – The Huffington Post

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Happy 70th birthday, Helen Mirren! 7 reasons we love the flawless dame

Helen Mirren celebrated her 70th birthday on Sunday, and in honor of the actress’ milestone, we rounded up 7 reasons we love the dame.


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Bill Cosby Covers New York Mag & New York Daily News For All The Wrong Reasons [Photos]

Bill Cosby‘s week is off to an epically terrible start. New York magazine featured 35 of the comedian and accused rapist’s alleged victims in its latest issue and the New York Daily News threw salt on the wound by making him a cover star, too. 

The New York mag piece and its provocative cover is sure to be trending all day as 35 women shared their stories about being victimized by the man we all knew as Cliff Huxtable, but is now known as “Pill Cosby.”

The New York Daily News highlighted the story, along with the headline “America’s Rapist.”

Is part of the pile on because Cosby was once one of the most well regarded Black men in America? That could be part of it. However, before you go trying to defend the indefensible, check out his deposition where he admits to drugging women.

If this isn’t the final nail in the coffin of Cosby’s wrecked legacy…

Check out the covers on the flip.

Photos: New York Daily News, New York Mag

The post Bill Cosby Covers New York Mag & New York Daily News For All The Wrong Reasons [Photos] appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

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Reasons to Sleep in Your Makeup: From the Perfect Smudged Eye to Date Night–Proof Skin

Sleeping in makeup

Falling asleep in your makeup has long been a cardinal sin of beauty, sharing a level of skin offense second only to sunbathing. But, like soaking up Vitamin D, there’s something so-wrong-it’s-right about the immediate result that the beauty world has recently seemed to overcome the long-term consequences. Just look at Fashion Week runways like Marc Jacobs, Balenciaga, or Proenza Schouler, where backstage pro Diane Kendal can often be spotted applying eyeliner, then diluting it with a moisturizer-soaked cotton swab until it achieves the perfect smolder-y level of lived-in. Or flip through Stephane Marais’s early work with Linda Evangelista, whom he is rumored to have asked to sleep in a smoky eye before at least one shoot for a perfectly imperfect appeal. Makeup artist Charlotte Tilbury goes a step beyond giving the look to clients like Sienna Miller: She practices what she preaches, washing her face and then re-applying makeup before bed every night.

The good news is, thanks to a new generation of products, you, too, can face-plant in your eyeliner, mascara, and BB cream without guilt. Tilbury designed her Rock n’ Kohl eyeliner to create self-described “bedroom eyes” that last from the moment your head hits the pillow well into the next day, while a swipe or two of Eyeko’s latest mascara, Rock Out & Lash Out, creates intentionally sooty she’s-with-the-band lashes (and requires only warm water to wash off in case you wake up miles away from your cleanser). Taking the concept one step further, BB Night Beauty Balm from Dr. Jart+ was developed to improve your skin while you sleep, blurring imperfections and brightening skin overnight. Here, four products that ensure being bad has never looked so good.

The post Reasons to Sleep in Your Makeup: From the Perfect Smudged Eye to Date Night–Proof Skin appeared first on Vogue.

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7 Reasons People Lie

Melisa claims her husband Chris — from whom she’s separated while she’s pregnant with their second child — is a pathological liar. Watch their story here. When she turns to Dr. Phil for help, he offers reasons why Chris, who admits he’s had a problem with lying since his youth, might do what he does. The reasons people lie include:

  • To take what is not rightfully theirs

  • To escape accountability

  • To create a fantasy/false self-esteem to escape their mundane life

  • To avoid punishment

  • To inflict pain

  • To feel better in the moment; to “steal” admiration

  • To gain advantage to exploit others

Know A Liar? (Even You?) 7 Strategies For Getting To The Truth

Watch the video above as Dr. Phil reveals one of the most egregious lies Chris has told about Melisa. Why does she continue to subject herself and her kids to it? That might change when Dr. Phil steps in — see more here.

Have a question for Dr. Phil? Ask it here!

Like Dr. Phil | Follow Dr. Phil | Be on the Show | Ask Dr. Phil

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Dr. Phil – The Huffington Post

5 Reasons We Love Kristen Bell

Could Kristen Bell literally be any cooler?

The actor, who rose to fame in the titular role on “Veronica Mars,” has since become a Hollywood mainstay, with iconic roles in films including “Frozen” and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” She also publicly advocates for causes like animal rights and environmentalism, and has a very excellent Twitter.

In honor of Bell’s birthday on July 18, The Huffington Post put together some of the things we love most about the star. 

1. She sings like an angel.

Bell’s skills aren’t limited to the straight acting sphere. She also kills it in the singing department, most prominently in her starring role as Anna in Disney’s “Frozen.” In case you’re not familiar with her beautiful voice, here’s a little sampling:

 

Bonus cool points: Bell was partly responsible for making her “Frozen” character so relatable. She opened up to Buzzfeed last year about her role in the development process:

My character initially was written very, what I would call, prissy. She was very girly, [and] I kind of pushed more for something weirder. Something different. Something more unique and unlike anything we’d seen before … I never saw a Disney Princess that I identified with when I was growing up. They all had good posture, they all woke up batting their eyelashes, no one had bad breath; I couldn’t relate. I wanted to see someone that felt like me. 

 Bell also brought us a relevant texting-themed Christmas song:

 

Amazing.

2. She speaks out about her beliefs.

Bell uses her celebrity platform to support causes including animal rights, environmentalism, voter education and social equality. She postponed her marriage to her now-husband Dax Shepard until California legalized same-sex marriage.

“We’ve been very vocal about not wanting to be married in a state that doesn’t allow that right to all of its citizens,” Bell told Celebuzz back in 2012. “We’ll wait until California gets on the right side of history.“

Bell also consistently works to protect and empower children. Alongside Shepard, Bell launched a campaign to stop paparrazzi from taking invasive photos of celebrities’ kids, and urged major outlets, to large success, to stop running the images.

Not to mention her consistently great insight into the world of parenting, and raising young women in particular:

“I think we slighted a lot of girls [in the past] by trying to give them advice. And I love to give unsolicited advice, so I’m just as guilty,” Bell said to Buzzfeed in 2014. “But something I’ve learned … is that people are their own best moral compass and introspection is something that is not encouraged enough today.”

 3. To put it simply: Veronica Mars

Bell likely entered your consciousness as bad-ass teen private eye in the much too short-lived series “Veronica Mars,” which ran from 2004-2007. Though the show premiered more than 10 years ago, it’s fan base (which includes us!) continues to have rabid interest in the series, thanks in no small part to Bell’s fantastic work in the titular role. In 2014, Bell reprised the part for a Veronica Mars film, funded entirely by fans on Kickstarter. And as of earlier this month, it seems like the series could have even more life. 

Though “nothing [is] in the works,” show creator Rob Thomas told TV Line’s Michael Ausellio that both he and Bell would be open to doing another “Mars” project — potentially a “short-run series”: 

“Kristen [Bell]’s game, I’m certainly game,” he said. “Like a Veronica Mars True Detective is really appealing to us, that sort of setup.”

In case it’s of any bearing: we, too, are game. 

4. She is extremely hilarious

Bell is obviously acclaimed for her work in dramas (see reason #3) and musicals (see reason #1), but she truly brings down the house as a comic actress as well.

The actor steals the screen as Sarah Marshall in 2008 comedy “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” and makes us LOL as very intense catering professional Uda Bengt in Starz series “Party Down” (our personal favorite funny work from the actor).

 

Bell also rocks it in the Ryan Hansen-starring CW Seed meta “Veronica Mars” spin-off “Play It Again, Dick.” 

5. She REALLY loves sloths.

 

No explanation necessary.

BONUS: She’s the voice of “Gossip Girl.” You know we love you.

Happy birthday, Kristen!

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Style – The Huffington Post
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‘Scream’ Rampage: 5 Reasons [Spoiler] Was Doomed From The Start

Here are five reasons Riley was doomed from the start on MTV’s “Scream.”
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After 25 Years, Here Are 5 Reasons Why We Still Love ‘Ghost’

It’s hard to believe it’s been 25 years since Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze made movie magic (and pottery!) together in “Ghost.” But it’s true.

 

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After 25 Years, Here Are 5 Reasons Why We Still Love ‘Ghost’

It’s hard to believe it’s been 25 years since Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze made movie magic (and pottery!) together in “Ghost.” But it’s true.

 

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Adrian Younge Presents: Twelve Reasons to Die II (Deluxe) [feat. RZA, Lyrics Born, Chino XL, Scarub, Bilal, Raekwon & Vince Staples] – Ghostface Killah & Adrian Younge

Ghostface Killah & Adrian Younge - Adrian Younge Presents: Twelve Reasons to Die II (Deluxe) [feat. RZA, Lyrics Born, Chino XL, Scarub, Bilal, Raekwon & Vince Staples]  artwork

Adrian Younge Presents: Twelve Reasons to Die II (Deluxe) [feat. RZA, Lyrics Born, Chino XL, Scarub, Bilal, Raekwon & Vince Staples]

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10 Reasons Why Young People Should Stop Freaking Out Over The Thought Of Old People Having Sex

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Last week I read Ann Brenoff’s HuffPost article, “Why The Thought Of Old People Having Sex Makes Young People Squirm.” She wrote a line that deftly captures the heart of youthful bias: “younger people just believe sex isn’t something older people are supposed to have.”

My reaction, when I read the piece, was anger: who are these young people to tell me I’m too old for sex? Why do we need to be reminded of the propaganda that great sex has an expiration date, and if yours is up, well, settle down for the next few decades on the sexual sidelines?

I thought of this article when my boyfriend Sam and I were dining al fresco at a local restaurant last weekend. At 48 and 52 respectively, we’re two lust-driven middle-aged people who like to have sex and talk about sex as much as possible. Sam, in fact, was talking enthusiastically about a particular sex act when the waiter arrived with our artichoke dip. I glanced around the patio at diners who looked to be in their 20s and wondered a) if they could hear him and b) what they thought about us if they could?

Were they surprised that we “still” have sex at our advanced ages? Were they disapproving? Grossed out? I started to wonder why young people think they have the patent on sex when old people have been doing it a lot longer.

It’s youthful ignorance, of course. You don’t understand what you don’t know. And what I would like all those to the left of 30 to know is this:

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1. You will get older too. Yes, really. You will get gray hair and skin creases and you will still want to have sex. And you will not care at all what young people think.

2. Older people do it just like you, only better. Penises still enter vaginas. Tongues still lick genitals. Just with a lot more finesse than yours.

3. You don’t have to worry about pregnancy. Worrying about getting pregnant, or not getting pregnant, takes up a lot of space in your head. When baby-making is no longer a concern, you can enjoy sex in its purest form.

4. Sex isn’t tied up with rings and babies. Pregnancy isn’t the only issue that can make sex feel less sexy. The pressure to create an adult life, complete with the house and the kids and the holiday cards, can sap psychological energy and sex drives. One reason people often experience greater sexual enjoyment in middle age is that the exhausting tasks of young adulthood are behind them.

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5. Older people don’t necessarily want to think about you having sex either. Some older people get creeped out watching frolicking porn stars young enough to be their children. Some older women would prefer not to read about yet another multi-orgasmic, dim-witted virgin. You may cringe at the image of your parents getting it on, but believe me, they don’t really want to think about you getting it on either.

6. The same body parts yield pleasure. Loose skin, lack of lubrication and erections that need coaxing don’t signify lack of desire or gratification. And because you are no longer taking the express train to Orgasmville, you will experience sex with greater nuance and meaning.

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7. Staying sexually active keeps you feeling vital. Some people welcome midlife and beyond as a time when it’s “okay” to stop having sex, and that’s a valid choice. But most people want to continue having sex in their second and third acts and find that the more they have it, the more vibrant they feel.

8. You will still like all the same sex acts. If you like it from behind when you’re 20, chances are you’ll like it from behind when you’re 60. You may not be quite as acrobatic, but you may be more creative, and with the pressure of rings and babies behind you, you may enjoy what you’re doing more.

9. You will still have orgasms. They may not be as strong or as frequent. Or they may be more powerful if sexual shame enveloped you when you were young. But you will have them with a partner, and when you’re flying solo.

10. Sex is about more than orgasms. When you’re young, sex tends to be one-dimensional, with orgasm and validation being the goals. When you’re older, you realize that sex is about the journey, not the destination. You enjoy exploring each other. Sexual confidence comes from finally being comfortable in your own skin regardless of the the appearance of your body parts.

2015-06-24-1435121515-1876990-EricaJagger515735.jpg

Photography by Nick Holmes

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

270 Reasons Women Choose Not To Have Children

Far too often, women who choose to be childfree are asked to defend their “immature,” “selfish” lifestyles. They’re told that motherhood is the “most important job in the world” and face accusations of living “meaningless” lives.

The number of childfree women is at a record high: 48 percent of women between the ages of 18 and 44 don’t have kids, according to 2014 Census numbers.

The Huffington Post and YouGov asked 124 women why they choose to be childfree. Their motivations ranged from preferring their current lifestyles (64 percent) to prioritizing their careers (9 percent) — a.k.a. fairly universal things that have motivated men not to have children for centuries. To give insight into the complex, layered decisions women make, HuffPost asked childfree readers to discuss the reasons they have chosen not to have kids and gathered 270 responses here.

Of course, these women don’t owe anyone an explanation, but perhaps allowing the public to read their unique perspectives will open people’s minds to the wide range of mature, unselfish motivations that go into deciding not to have kids.

Read more here.

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

7 Reasons Jada Pinkett Smith Rules ‘Magic Mike XXL’ Like The Queen She Is

Jada Pinkett Smith is the best part of “Magic Mike XXL” and I am not kidding about that.
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20 Reasons To Celebrate Being Single This Independence Day

20

Those of us who are newly divorced have something extra to celebrate this Fourth of July: The freedom to do exactly as we please now that we’re single again! (Also: the freedom to take up the entire bed. That’s a major win.)

Below, HuffPost Divorce readers on Facebook share the one thing they love most about being sans-spouse this Independence Day.

1. “I’m no longer walking on eggshells all the time!

2. “I’m discovering who I am as an individual and creating and achieving my own goals, entirely on my own. Learning that happiness and love comes from within is pretty amazing.”

3. “The best thing? Always picking the movie and not having to share the popcorn.”

4. “I love staying in and hanging out with my kids. The stress is gone, even for my cat. I never realized just how much my ex stressed out my cat until the ex left and the cat stopped having accidents all over the house!”

5. “I have freedom to do what I want, wake up when I’m ready and go to sleep when I’m ready.It’s freedom to be myself.”

6. “I know if something needs to be done, I’ll get it done. It’s better than asking my ex to do something and then never having him do it.”

7. “I’m now able to give 100 percent of my heart and time to my daughter.”

8. “I no longer have to clean up after my ex! It was like having a fourth child.”

9.Deciding what to do every day and night is now in my hands. The kids have a say, too. It is truly our life to breathe, to experience, to explore.”

10. “There’s no one to steal the covers, hog the bed or keep me awake with snoring or the TV. I sleep so well now.”

11. “I like just doing things because I want to do them. When my girls are with their dad, I just go. One day I decided I’d get a tattoo I’d been wanting. I just went out and did it!”

12. “It’s great to give zero f*cks about what a significant other is doing.”

13. “I get to experience new things I probably wouldn’t have done while I was married, like playing on a kickball league, participating in mud runs and learning how to golf.”

14. “I can spend my money on what I want!”

15. “I’m learning to take care of myself. And I no longer just define myself as a wife and mother. I’m accomplishing things I never would have imagined back when I was complacent in my marriage.”

16. “Post-divorce sex!”

17. “I love doing whatever I want, whenever I want and not having to explain myself to anybody.”

18. “I can turn on the AC or the heater whenever I want. When I lived with my ex, I had to freeze in the winter and swelter in the summer. I’m out of temperature prison now!”

19. “There are no more never-ending arguments.”

20. “I’m getting to know myself! I had been with my ex since I was 21 years old. He was all I knew.”

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook.

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Divorce – The Huffington Post

Need to File for a Divorce!

9 Reasons Why Arnold Schwarzenegger Has Couples Therapy All Wrong

In a recent Howard Stern interview, Arnold Schwarzenegger stated that going to couples therapy at the end of his marriage was, “the biggest mistake I ever made.” He went on to bluntly disparage the therapist and to call his efforts to help the couple “nonsense talk.”

I can’t dispute Mr. S’ experience in his particular therapy sessions, with that particular therapist, and with his particularly hurt and horrified wife who had recently learned that her husband had fathered a son several years prior with one of their household employees.

As we already know, Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, ended their marriage presumably because of this revelation. So, in other words — and to extrapolate on what Mr. S has already said — the couples therapy was deemed useless because the marriage didn’t remain intact.

But that’s not how it works, people. Couples therapy can help those in flailing marriages. It can help get couples back on track. It can help salvage marriages on the brink of divorce. It can also help end marriages that have no business staying put.

Here’s a realistic look (from a couples therapist) at what you can expect (and not) from couples therapy:

1. It can’t save your marriage. Only the two people in a marriage can do that. If a couples therapist tells you he or she is going to save your union, run in the other direction. This is snake oil, folks. And its purveyors prey on those desperate enough to believe it.

2. It isn’t a perfect system. Each and every couple needs something different — that’s obvious. No two marriages are alike and what derails a marriage is unique in circumstances and details. Couples therapists — good ones — work hard to meet each couple where they are. Then the therapist does his/her best to tailor the therapy accordingly. There isn’t one technique that works for every couple and what may help one couple heal may be another’s Achilles’ heel.

3. It can’t change your partner’s mind. No therapist in the world is going to be able to change the mind of someone hellbent on leaving his or her marriage. Face it, by the time some couples actually get to therapy, their marriage is a hot mess. A couples therapist can certainly outline the positive aspects of remaining married — and encourage clients to give theirs a fair shake — but magicians we are not.

4. It can help you communicate more effectively. I argue this is the one and only thing you can truly expect from good couples therapy. A therapist who will listen to the way two partners communicate and make suggestions for more empathic discourse. Couples lose their way when the communication channels start to break down. Couples therapy can help turn that around.

5. It can’t guarantee a desired outcome. Couples therapists can only work with what a couple brings to their therapy sessions. If both partners are ready, willing and able to make significant changes, the couples therapy can help with that. There is no right or wrong outcome when it comes to couples work. And the only truly reliable outcome is the one both partners co-create.

6. It can help you understand your partner’s behaviors. Throwing in the towel because you simply can’t understand where your partner is coming from? If partners can’t explain what’s happening for them in the marriage — either because they don’t know or they can’t express it effectively — couples counseling can shed light on behavioral patterns and systems that may be damaging the marriage.

7. It can put you in the hot seat. My guess is that Arnold figured this one out pretty quickly. Although there’s rarely one “bad guy,” there are sometimes extreme circumstances that act as the low-hanging fruit in a collapsing marriage. Arnold’s behaviors in the marriage certainly gave the therapy a running start. My guess is there were some really, really uncomfortable moments for him in those sessions.

8. It can be confusing. Sometimes couples leave sessions feeling worse than when they went in. And there are reasons for that. For one thing, you’re basically dredging up a lot of discontent. One partner has his list of woes, the other has her list of complaints. It’s the therapist’s job to honor both partners’ experiences in the marriage while guiding the couple toward reason — and understanding of the other’s perspective.

9. It can be worth a shot. Divorce ain’t easy for anyone involved. Even if you want a divorce, better to really investigate your role in the unhappiness in the marriage before you pull the trigger on dismantling your whole life. If there are children involved, even more reason to drag thyself to therapy. If you do decide to divorce, you’ll want to be able to tell your kids you tried everything to hold the family together. And that, for better or worse, includes couples therapy.

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Artist To Watch: 11 Reasons Why Fetty Wap Is Hip-Hop’s Next Big Star

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All the Right Reasons – Nickelback

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All the Right Reasons

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Genre: Rock

Price: $ 9.99

Release Date: September 26, 2005

© ℗ 2005 The All Blacks B.V.

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5 Reasons to Ride Your Bike to Brunch: St. Vincent, Lily Aldridge, and More

Photo: INFphoto.com

While many a well-toned New Yorker is quick to credit sweat sessions at The Class or Ballet Beautiful, the built-in exercise of living in a walking—and increasingly bike-friendly—city brings with it a number of incidental fitness benefits. Hilary Rhoda was spotted pedaling through Manhattan with an off-duty-model messy knot and leather jacket, while Keri Russell is known to navigate Brooklyn on two wheels year-round, which might explain her enviable, perpetually breezy waves. Offering another reason to embrace flats this summer, bicycle aficionado Hanneli Mustaparta took a joyride through Tribeca and Lily Aldridge made the most of the wind-machine effect in Central Park. But leave it to singer St. Vincent to make a safety-first approach look good with her frothy curls spilling out from under a helmet. Here, five reasons to head to brunch on a Citi Bike.

The post 5 Reasons to Ride Your Bike to Brunch: St. Vincent, Lily Aldridge, and More appeared first on Vogue.

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7 Damn Good Reasons To Date A Single Mom

single mom

If you’ve won the love of a single mom, you’ve hit the relationship jackpot. Few love as selflessly and fiercely as a woman who’s raised her kiddos on her own (or mostly on her own).

Need more convincing? We recently asked a handful of divorced moms to give their best elevator pitch for dating single mamas.

Read some of our favorite reasons below.

1. She can roll with the punches.
Any single mom you date likely has a lot on her plate — and much of it comes her way unexpectedly. (The kids get the flu right before a work trip? Par for the course.) What that means for you is that she’ll understand if you’re running late for a dinner date because of a deadline at work. As single mom Kasey Ferris explains, she’s probably dealt with far worse.

“Have you ever taken a kiddo to the mall and had them spill an entire Slurpee all over themselves then pitch a major earth-shattering meltdown with four people ahead of you in line at the register? We have,” she jokes. “We take it in stride -– what’s the other option? Some things are just out of your control. Failed dinner plans are nothing to us.”

2. She’s well rounded.

If you want a woman who gets things done, look no further than a single mom, says writer Jennifer Ball.

“We do everything, and I mean everything,” she says. “We bring home the bacon, we fry it up in the pan, we clean the pan…hell, we bought the pan. We parent with enthusiasm, we work hard at whatever our jobs are, we are tender caretakers and tough decision makers.”

Sound like the kind of badass, complex woman you want to ride alongside for life? We thought so.

3. She’s independent.
While other people you date might get clingy and annoyed by your few-and-far-between texts, a single mom ain’t got time for that. She’s got a world of her own and kiddos to worry about. If you say you need some space or time to yourself, she’ll respect it.

“We’re used to being on our own and aren’t afraid of it,” says single mom Dina Strada. “When you’re balancing work, kids and a social life, you value your alone time as a single mom and are pretty damn independent because you have to be. You can rest assured I’m going to continue to have my own life and will be perfectly OK with you having yours.”

4. She loves like no other.

Any single parent will tell you: Raising a kid on your own is the ultimate primer on how to love unconditionally. If you are all your kid has in the world, you learn to love that much harder. That kind of selfless, unconditional love has also made her a better partner.

“We offer a bigger well of caring and love than you can fathom,” says Ferris. “Our patience, love, and capability for nurturing has so more depth because of our kids. If you’re good to us, you’ll have a more faithful, supportive and loving life partner than you’ve ever had.”

5. Single moms are sexy.
She may lean heavily on the no-nonsense mom uniform when she’s with the kids — jeans, t-shirts, a ponytail, yoga pants, or any combination thereof — but if you ask her out on a date, she’ll likely relish the chance to get all dolled up.

“From firsthand experience, I can tell you that we can’t wait to dress up and feel sexy,” said Strada. “Since we have little ones hanging on us all the time and have to constantly be in responsible mommy mode, dates are an opportunity to let our hair down and let loose.”

6. She knows what she wants.
A single mom with a divorce behind her has probably done some soul searching to figure out went wrong in her marriage– including the part she played in its breakdown. She’s been burned before but she’s come out with a stronger sense of what she really needs in a relationship and partner.

“You start to realize what you need to truly be happy,” says Strada. “If we are spending time with you and opening ourselves up to getting hurt again, we see something special in you that makes taking that risk worth it. That should give you a lot of confidence that you have something special to offer or we wouldn’t be wasting our time!”

7. She’s playing for keeps.

Single moms are particular about who they let into their life for good reason. They’ve got kids to worry about so they’re not just going to let any Tom, Dick or Harry from Tinder walk through the door. If she’s chosen you, you must be pretty special, says Ball.

“Know that once you’re in, you’ve reached a level of acceptance not very many people, especially men, achieve,” she says. “The way we love is the way we have learned to live our lives as single moms: fiercely, sweetly and smartly. Now, if you’re a funny fabulous single dad and you don’t mind teenagers and dog hair, contact me.”

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7 Reasons It May Be a Good Idea to Stay Single

There’s nothing wrong with seeking love, because it’s beautiful and can bring about some of the most treasured moments in our lives. But very few people know how to be alone and do it well. They aren’t happy to be alone. They fear it and seek love wherever they go. Growing up, most of us probably weren’t given good examples of how to be alone. Everything we see in the media promotes how to find the right partner, and make it work. But being alone can propel us to grow and learn about ourselves.

Do you have a pattern of staying in relationships too long that are no longer meeting your needs? What you may not realize is that fear of being alone is universal. It’s crucial to realize that fear is just a feeling and you may be giving it too much power. You may feel uncomfortable discussing your fears — even with close friends or family — because you don’t want to be seen as desperate or needy. What you may not realize is that fear of being single is a meaningful predictor of settling for less in relationships and staying with a partner who is wrong for you, according to Stephanie S. Spielman (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology).

The first step in facing your fear of being alone is shrugging off any stigma attached to being single. In her Huffington Post article How to Be Alone (And Not Be Unhappy) Poorna Bell writes, “There is a problem, a serious cultural problem, about solitude. Being alone in our present society raises an important question about identity and well-being.” Bell posits that there is a contradiction in U.S. culture since we value individualism and autonomy, yet we both fear and dread being alone.

Women may be particularly vulnerable to feeling stigma related to being single. Perhaps we need new norms for understanding single women in our culture because in times past they were seen as lonely spinsters, quietly languishing in their studio apartments. For instance, celebrities like Sandra Bullock who speaks candidly about not wanting to add to her family anytime soon in a recent Huffington Post article, can help dispel negative stereotypes of being single. Sometimes taking time to sort out what you want from a relationship, developing career goals, and spending quality time with children, need to take priority.

Further, embracing some of the challenges of being single is essential to relationship satisfaction. The reality is that feeling content with being alone is a critical step toward preparing for a bright future — either with a partner or flying solo. Truth be told, people can easily feel lonely in relationships. But our sense of security and happiness needs to come from within ourselves. Emotional dependency is not the same as intimacy and often leads to the demise of a relationship. Some people stay in relationships to avoid loneliness but they would be better off being single and developing their own interests and goals.

In fact, being content with being single can be seen as a sign of emotional maturity. Being a mature, autonomous person before making a commitment to a partner is a worthwhile goal. For instance, Kelly is an articulate 28 year old that is attending graduate school to become a speech therapist. She’s happily single and has made a decision to stay unmarried amidst the pressure to be part of a couple. Here’s how Kelly puts it: “I just haven’t met the right guy yet and won’t settle until I do.” She pauses and says, “I’m fine being alone and don’t need a partner to feel good about who I am.”

7 reasons remaining single may be a good idea:

1. You worry that the clock is ticking. Often women over 30 start to panic because they get concerned they’ll be too old to have children. But this mind-set can make you feel desperate and propel you to marry someone who is wrong for you.
2. You are in a relationship that makes you feel anxious or brings you down. Ask yourself: Does my partner inspire me to do my best? Perhaps he or she is overly critical or too focused on changing you to be supportive of your needs or goals.
3. You feel panicked when your partner doesn’t call or text you (or return your calls) when they say they would. This is a red flag and could signify that you may be feeling insecure and/or mistrustful. Keep in mind that trust is the glue that holds healthy intimate relationships together.
4. You have to change who you are – your values, goals, or dreams – for your partner to accept you. Since your partner is unwilling to compromise — you morph into someone else to accommodate their needs and subsequently lose vital parts of your identity.
5. You simply aren’t ready to make a commitment. You want to take your time to pick a partner who shares similar values and interests — this will enhance your chances of staying together.
6. You have a healthy respect for commitment and just haven’t met someone you want to make a permanent commitment with. Avoiding marriage before your late 20’s and dating a partner for at least two years will reduce your risk of divorce.
7. You’re content being single and can’t think of enough good reasons to tie the knot.

Having the confidence to take time to understand yourself and choose the right partner is one of the biggest challenges singles face. A good marriage or partnership is a gift if two people are ready to be accountable to each other and make a commitment. But some people make a life-long commitment out of obligation or because they fear being alone – or worry too much about societal expectations.

Congratulate yourself for your decision to withstand the social pressures and expectations to be part of a couple or race down the altar. When you remind yourself about what you like about yourself and what you are good at, your need for other’s approval will fade away and you’ll feel more confident in your lifestyle choice.

Follow Terry Gaspard on Twitter, Facebook, and movingpastdivorce.com

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9 Reasons No One Will Miss Sepp Blatter When He’s Gone

Longtime FIFA president Sepp Blatter voluntarily resigned on Tuesday after nearly two decades at the helm of perhaps the world’s most important sports organization.

But while everyone is focusing on the overwhelming evidence of corruption within the organization, we just couldn’t let Blatter drift into obscurity without first recounting his many shortcomings throughout the years.

He suggested female athletes “play in more feminine clothes.”

In 2004, he offered a suggestion to boost the popularity of women’s soccer: “Let the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball. They could, for example, have tighter shorts.” More than a decade later, the women’s game is doing just fine without his knucklehead advice.

He noted women should talk as much at work as they do at home.

In 2013, he tipped the sexism meter to idiotic while boasting that three women out of 24 members then served on the executive committee. “We now have three ladies on the board,” he said. “Say something, ladies! You are always speaking at home. Now you can speak here.”

He said gay people shouldn’t have sex at the World Cup.

He’s stuck his foot in his mouth on other issues as well, like gay rights. After Qatar was awarded the World Cup for 2022, Blatter had this tip for gay fans visiting the country, knowing Qatar’s strict laws against homosexuality: “I’d say they should refrain from any sexual activities.”

He implied that Africans are less honest than Europeans.

Some might say he was racist, too: In 2006, he told an Italian newspaper that reported match-fixing in Italy’s soccer league would tarnish the game’s image. “I could understand it if it had happened in Africa,” he said, “but not in Italy.”

He said a simple handshake could cure racism.

Yet this is the same man who told CNN that racism in soccer could be cured with a handshake. Oh, wait, that was at the same time he said racism wasn’t a problem on the field at all. “There is no racism. There is maybe one of the players towards another — he has a word or a gesture which is not the correct one.”

At the very least, he showed cluelessness.

While many believe the investigation into bribery, fraud and racketeering will eventually hit Blatter directly, we can perhaps all agree that he wasn’t running the tightest of ships.

In 2011, FIFA opened an investigation into its own organization. It absolved Blatter of wrongdoing in 2013 while conceding that he did have “clumsy” oversight in a bribery matter.

He dismissed words to the wise.

He apparently wasn’t much of an advice-taker, either. In 2011, Blatter’s own commission of an independent study into reform at FIFA resulted in the recommendation that he have a system for “disclosing cash payments to officials.” According to the Wall Street Journal, he ignored it.

He said Russia’s World Cup could help peace.

Blatter seems to have a skewed view of diplomacy as well. He said in March that Russia hosting the World Cup in 2018 would stabilize the region. Right, ’cause the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi worked so well to bring peace to Ukraine.

He didn’t know a soccer star when he saw one.

The exiting soccer chief could be pretty oblivious too. U.S. national team star Alex Morgan said Blatter didn’t even recognize her at a 2013 banquet to award the FIFA Women’s Player of the Year. Morgan was one of the finalists. “Sepp Blatter didn’t know who I was,” she said. “That was pretty shocking.”

Soon enough, he won’t be your problem anymore, Alex. Oh, how the mighty has fallen.

blatter

Sepp Blatter tumbles off a stage in 2010.

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Lil Wayne’s Tour Bus Shot In Atlanta For Gang Reasons, Police Say

UPDATE: “Said accused did commit said act in order to gain status in his criminal organization,” according to an arrest warrant.


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10 Liberating Reasons to Celebrate Your Divorce With a Party

Once upon a time, the word “divorce” was only uttered in a whisper. Divorced people were treated as if they had some horrible disease or done something rude and antisocial. Thankfully, times have changed. Divorce is now accepted and understood as an often healthy choice. And a way to commemorate this big life change — the divorce party — has emerged as a full-blown fixture in our culture.

Some still raise eyebrows at divorce parties and consider them tacky or morally corrupt. I personally find them to be very life-affirming in most cases. Here are my top 10 reasons why you should celebrate your divorce.

1. Let’s face it, you’ve been through hell. Who would have thought “’til death do us part” would turn out to be “’til divorce do us part”? A divorce party can mark the end of a long difficult process of emotional disentanglement. A rollicking, unforgettable party can be just what the doctor ordered.

2. It’s a great excuse to have a balls-out party with some outrageous food, drinks and games. Enough of the sadness. Time to bring laughter and lightness back into your life. Give full rein to your creativity. Whether your night resembles a bachelorette party or an exorcism, you can literally do anything you want.

3. The party can be great catharsis. You can laugh, shout, scream, whatever you want, all in the company of people who love you.

4. You get to have a huge, fabulous cake. Google images of some grand divorce cakes such as the one topped with a groom run over by a truck, or the one with the headless groom, and have a baker copy one of them.

5. Isn’t it horrible to have to explain to everyone under the sun why you are now solo? The divorce party is an opportunity to publicly state that the marriage is over. The whole dirty business can be hashed over and laid to rest once and for all. Everyone will get the memo — in real time — and you won’t have to bother with any more of those difficult conversations. The world will know you’re okay and you’re moving on.

6. Divorce can be a long, horrible process, particularly if teeth-gnashing lawyers are involved. But now it’s over. The divorce party is a way to mark the end of the conflict. The line is drawn, and it’s time to move forward.

7. A divorce party can remind you that, even though your spouse came up short in the love department, you are still loved and cared for by all the people who are gathered together to celebrate you! We’re there for each other at every other major landmark in life — the births, graduations, weddings and funerals. The divorce party is the perfect ritualized event to mark the end of a marriage. Divorce is a stressful, life-changing event and no one should go through it alone.

8. The divorce party can also be a way to thank all the people who stood by us through the ordeal of separation. It’s a way to say thanks for letting me talk about it ad nauseam and now I’m ready to move on.

9. The event will also show you who your true friends really are. Those who sniff at the idea or think it’s in bad taste — well, that speaks volumes. Think of your divorce party as a Rorschach test. You’ll find out who’s been concealing a stick wedged tightly in their posterior.

10. Last but not least, the party is a great way to publicly announce our new status in life.
It’s our coming out party. We are now single and available for new experiences and even new relationships. A whole new phase of life is beginning. And that is something to celebrate!

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11 Reasons There’s No Such Thing As A ‘Failed Marriage’

no such thing

There’s a quote from novelist Victoria Holt that’s particularly well-suited to describe the divorce experience. “Never regret,” she wrote. “If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”

Regardless of how you feel about your former marriage, it undoubtedly taught you something about life and who you are as a person. Below, HuffPost Divorce bloggers and readers share the reasons they have no regrets about saying “I do,” even if they eventually divorced.

1. You may have great kids to show for it.
“I have never, not once looked back and felt any regret in marrying my ex. Because of that marriage, three beautiful lives were born. I love my three daughters, not just because they are my children, but because of who they are as individuals: The beautiful tall quiet introvert, the freak-flag flying feminist, and my little cheerleader who aspires to be Kim Kardashian. They are only half mine, the other half is him -– and I would not want to change a single thing about them.” –Jennifer Gardella

2. Looking back, the relationship may have been what you needed, when you needed it.
carol
“When I married my first husband I was grieving the loss of my father a year prior. I was in a very sad and unhappy place. Looking back now, I know that I was looking to recreate my sense of family. Sure, it’s not the best reason to get married, but in that moment in time, the family I created with my ex-husband essentially sheltered me while I developed the strength to thrive as an adult.” Carol Schaffer

3. You may no longer be spouses, but nothing can break the bond you share as parents.
“When we got married it was with the idea of having a big family. Having four children under three in less than three years (we had twins!) was simultaneously wonderful and terribly difficult. I worked days and my ex-husband worked nights. We operated in a haze, neither of us getting anywhere near enough sleep. Those years taught us the value of teamwork. Our kids are now all in elementary school and luckily that teamwork we learned in our kids’ early years has transferred into a great co-parenting relationship. No one in the world gets how wonderful and terribly difficult it was and still is to have these four kiddos but the two of us. I’m thankful we learned how to put ourselves aside and work together effectively for our kids.” –Kasey Ferris

4. When things were good, they were really good.
“My ex and I traveled the world, lived in some incredibly exotic places and raised two wonderful children at the same time. How could I regret anything? I guess the only thing I regret is how it ended.” –Caroline Sarah Keller

5. More likely than not, marriage is an essential part of your life story.
beth cone kramer
“I don’t regret marrying my ex-husband because no matter how a relationship plays out, the experience is part of the montage of your life, especially when you have kids. As two people who traversed the landscape of dating, engagement, wedding, pregnancy, childbirth, and the challenges of raising toddlers, we’ll forever be linked. I have never considered my marriage to be a failure, despite ending in divorce. I will always see my marriage to my ex-husband as a connection that brought two inspiring, wonderful young women into the world and for that, I have absolutely no regrets.” –Beth Cone Kramer

6. Your kids wouldn’t be who they are if not for your ex.
“I always say I could have had these three kids with anyone, since they look so much like my side of the family, but that’s not true. My family has always been talented –- music, painting, writing –- and although I have some of those talents, I was never driven to succeed with any of them. My children have those talents in abundance, plus something I never had: ambition. They got that entirely from their mother. She is tenacious as a pit bull and usually gets whatever it is she goes after. (I pity the poor customer rep on the phone that doesn’t have the right answer for her!) She earned both a bachelor and master’s degree while working full-time.” –Al Deluise

7. You may have gained some awesome in-laws.
“If I hadn’t married, I would have never had began a friendship with my dear, wonderful sister-in-law. Her brother and I might have gotten a divorce, but my friendship with her has never changed.” –Rochelle Winston Davies

8. Marriage — and divorce — teach lessons in forgiveness.
“At the time, I married a man who I loved unconditionally — I thought of him as my one true love. The marriage didn’t end well but I persevered and I learned how to forgive when something seems unforgivable. I wouldn’t be the person I am today had I not experienced marriage and divorce.” –Stephanie Cobb Gilmore

9. The marriage may have ended, but your friendship with your ex can absolutely live on.
gregory chambers
“I have no regrets because even through we separated, my ex Malissa is still my best friend. We can laugh and enjoy each other’s company. I feel fortunate that we’ve maintained a mutual respect for each other and what we shared. When I think of my marriage, I think of the growth that I have attained through my union with Malissa. I have learned that love cannot be cavalier; you have to put constant effort into courtship and appreciation. To be frank about it, my marriage may not have had the plot line that most people hope for, but I believe it turned out the way that it was supposed to in the end.” –Gregory Chambers

10. You aren’t afraid to live life to the fullest.
“I used to regret a lot about my marriage but I am learning to move beyond those things. I have no regrets about having kids and jumping feet first and uninhibited into life as a couple with another person; moving to new places, buying homes; trying new jobs; quitting jobs, having parties with friends, doing yard work. The list goes on and on. The more philosophical answer is that I don’t regret my marriage because I was living my life.” –Chris Burcher

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6 Reasons Marrying Mr. Wrong Was The Absolute Right Decision

By Lynne Meredith Golodner for YourTango

“Don’t get divorced if you think you’re just going to go out and find the right person to marry,” my mother said to me on a cold, white Michigan afternoon many years ago. I was sitting in my tiny master bathroom, the door shut as I whispered into the phone and my two toddlers played downstairs while the baby slept.

“You may never find Mr. Right,” my mother said. “Only get divorced if you would rather be alone the rest of your life than be with this person.”

At the moment that she said it, I felt the words were harsh and cruel.

But it didn’t take long for me to see the truth in my mother’s words — and be grateful for them. It took six more months before I got to the point of truly preferring a life spent alone than one shared with my husband at the time, and I took the courageous step to file for divorce.

In 2006, I wrote an article about how Orthodox sex was so hot. Despite the fact that two years later my Orthodox marriage crashed and burned, I don’t regret writing that piece. In fact, I’m pretty proud of it for more reasons than you might think. (Even though the marriage ended, we did have hot sex at times. There is always good amid the bad, and we had eight years with pockets of pretty damn good.)

Once a person divorces, it would be easy to say, “I never should have married that person in the first place.”

We always want to avoid the hurt, anger and sense of loss. But I’m really glad I married my ex because I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t.

Sometimes, it’s a good thing to marry Mr. Wrong — because it leads you to Ms. Right, a.k.a. yourself.

Over the eight years of my first marriage, I spent many late, lonely nights on the phone with a grad school friend who lived in Wyoming, turning over the details of my unhappy marriage. (His soothing voice calmed my nerves and made me feel less alone, like I was worth loving.)

During that marriage, I awoke from infrequent dreams about my college boyfriend, wondering where he was and if I would have been happier with him. (I wouldn’t have.)

Marrying the wrong guy gave me six great life lessons that forever changed me, and for that I will be eternally grateful to my ex-husband:

1. He’s the reason I have the best three children in the world.

I know every mother says that, but truly I feel lucky to be their mother. It is said that the child chooses the parents and if that’s true, I am really glad my three chose me. They are smart, sweet, outspoken, unique and full of love. I don’t know what my life would be like without them.

Being their mother makes me more patient, more kind, more caring, and it gives my life focus and meaning beyond work. I often ask myself what the purpose of our lives is, and when I look at my three children, I begin to understand. We are here on this planet to leave a legacy, to make the world a better place, to contribute to community. We are not here for ourselves. And being a mother has broadened my sense of purpose and motivation as well as expanded my ability to love.

2. He helped me stand on my two feet.

Before I married my ex, I was needy and insecure, seeking love and acceptance anywhere I could find it. This led me to date a lot of guys in high school and college, miss opportunities to broaden my own horizons, travel and try new things while I focused agonizingly on relationships and clung to people I thought might complete me. It wasn’t a pretty picture.

He made me realize that being with another person can’t erase the loneliness inside. Only I could do that. I had to bravely look at myself in the mirror and face the fact that even legally bound to another person, I was inherently alone — and then slowly eliminate my fear of that. I like myself now, and I like my time alone. I am not afraid of it. Secondly, being married to my ex and having three kids in four years forced me to stand up and take charge. He wasn’t around a lot, so I had to run the show. I couldn’t cling; he wasn’t there to let me. I had to shake off the malaise of the person I used to be and evolve into the person I always wanted to be.

3. He allowed me to confront what I truly wanted out of life.

When I decided to divorce, the economy was tanking and my kids were not quite 2, 4 and 6. Since my ex is a musician, I needed a secure income stream to support my kiddos. So I created a business, which has grown and thrived more than I ever could have hoped. If I hadn’t spread my wings and asked myself what I truly wanted out of life, I wouldn’t own a successful public relations company, be the author of eight books and speak nationally about the power of story and relationships.

You change one thing in your life (like leaving a marriage) and you realize anything is possible if you just take the first step. So you change a lot more and blossom.

4. He taught me that some relationships are just not meant to be.

Marrying the wrong guy taught me that no matter how hard you try (and we did, trust me), some relationships are just not meant to be. I gained clarity and wisdom through my former marriage, so that when I met my current husband, I had open eyes.

I looked for his flaws and oddities, and asked myself if I could live with them. I knew before I married him that I didn’t like the way he fought and so we knew we had to work together to communicate. I know that I don’t like that about him, but I like enough — and I knew all this before I walked into a commitment so there are no surprises. That makes this relationship easier. And on that note…

5. He taught me that what looks like failure can actually be success.

There is a belief that relationships exist for “a reason, a season or a lifetime” — as long as they are needed. My ex and I, we had a season. And that’s OK.

6. He forced me to face myself.

No marriage ends because of one person — and in our situation it definitely took two to tango. My ex and I were equally responsible for the good moments in our marriage and the bad. Even today, when we get into each other’s faces over something to do with co-parenting, it’s not just him. I know that.

By marrying the wrong guy, I had to face up to my own flaws and unattractive tendencies. They exist, and when my ex pointed them out, as much as I didn’t want to hear it, I knew he was right. When a relationship goes wrong, you have to ask yourself what the common denominator is in every relationship you’ve had that hasn’t worked out. By the way, it’s you.

This article originally appeared on YourTango.

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Elizabeth Banks Chooses To Diss Tara Reid For Reasons We Don’t Quite Understand

Things are going pretty well for Elizabeth Banks.

Her career as an actress has taken off to the point that she’s almost a household name, appearing alongside the likes of Jennifer Lawrence in “The Hunger Games” franchise. And now, she’s directing the much-anticipated return of the Barden Bellas in “Pitch Perfect 2.”

But while discussing just how well her life is going with The Hollywood Reporter, who notes that she has 70 roles under her belt, the 41-year-old took a seemingly random shot at fellow actress Tara Reid, and we were all like, huh?

“A lot of us are surviving. Some of us are not. I used to go to auditions with Tara Reid. So, you know, we didn’t all make it. We’re not all still here,” she told the magazine, before quickly adding, “I do love Sharknado.”

If you’re perplexed as to why Banks threw Reid under the bus, Reid is too. The “American Pie” star told TMZ, “I’ve always been a fan of her work and that’s sad to hear she said those things about me.”

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Style – The Huffington Post
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7 Reasons Why You Should Be Using Coconut Oil For Your Hair

Coconut oil is one of the most effective and widely-used beauty products. The editor-favorite can be used for everything from a facial moisturizer to a shaving cream, and the possibilities are endless. It also happens to work wonders for hair whether you’re looking for a weekly conditioning treatment or need to revive over-processed and heat-damaged strands.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Style – The Huffington Post
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5 Reasons That Cool, Under-the-Radar Australian Label Ellery Is Poised for a Major Breakout

Ellery pre-fall 2015

Flamboyant, fluted tailoring clocked up significant street-style mileage during the fall 2015 shows. Remember the bold, seventies-inspired blouse sported by supermodel Abbey Lee in Paris—or the exaggerated flares worn by Natalie Joos in New York City? This distinctive new retro-modern silhouette comes courtesy of designer Kym Ellery, whose eponymous, Sydney-based label is quietly transitioning from under-the-radar treasure to global go-to. Comprised of architectural tailoring and fluid separates, her collections are easy, cool, and unconventionally luxurious. In the midst of Australian Fashion Week, we catch up with the 31-year-old talent and chart the five reasons why you should bookmark the brand now.

1. The Founder
Prior to launching her own line in 2007, Kym Ellery worked on the fashion team at the Aussie fashion magazine Russh. “My background in styling has definitely influenced how I’ve evolved the label,” she says. “From speaking the same language as editors, to knowing that there was a real need for a modern, entry-level label that young women could turn to.” Then there’s Ellery’s own signature style, itself the subject of much adoration, which she describes as, “classic, understated, predominantly androgynous, and almost always monochromatic.”



Ellery pre-fall 2015

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Ellery pre-fall 2015

Photo: Courtesy of Ellery

2. The All-Star Ambassadors
In addition to supermodels and fashion insiders, the brand has amassed a cool following of A-list screen sirens and pop icons such as Rihanna, Solange Knowles, Cate Blanchett, and Elle Fanning. “I feel incredibly lucky, because they are all such strong, beautiful women and they’ve discovered the label organically,” says the designer, adding, “I’d love to see Diane Kruger in one of our dresses, or perhaps Tilda Swinton in a suit. That would be a dream.”

3. The Look
Ellery’s seventies-inspired tailoring strikes a careful balance between restraint and romance. “We’ve become known for reinventing vintage silhouettes, like our classic flared pant which has become a staple,” she says. “I’m an absolute perfectionist about the right cut. Everything is crafted locally here in Sydney so I can keep a close eye on quality. I’m also fastidious about fabrics and work with mills in Switzerland and Italy to develop innovative new textures.”



Ellery fall 2015

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Ellery fall 2015

Photo: Getty Images

4. The New Collection
Ellery’s pre-fall line, available at Dover Street Market New York starting next month, pays homage to David Bowie, whom the designer credits as her ultimate muse. “This season, I was especially inspired by his style during the Thin White Duke era—the gray fluted suits—and also the Ziggy Stardust chapter, which is where all the gold brocade comes into play,” she says. Other high notes in the new offerings include a lightweight chrome coat, draped sleeveless paisley top, and slouchy sleeveless waistcoats.

5. The International Takeover
Besides retaining the headline slot at Australia Fashion Week, Ellery will make its official, on-schedule debut in Paris next season. “Showing on the main schedule in Paris has always been my ultimate goal, so we’re all extremely excited about this year and what the future might hold,” she says. We’re certainly staying tuned.

The post 5 Reasons That Cool, Under-the-Radar Australian Label Ellery Is Poised for a Major Breakout appeared first on Vogue.

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9 Reasons Why Lily-Rose Depp Is Fashion’s Latest ‘It’ Girl

Lily-Rose Depp, daughter of movie stars Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, is fashion’s newest “It” girl. Her appearance at the Chanel Paris-Salzburg show in New York this week solidified the title. At just 15 years old, the budding actress is sure to take over Hollywood, but right now we’re more excited about what she has in her closet.

blonde

A photo posted by Lily-Rose Depp (@lilyrose_depp) on

A quick glance at Depp’s Instagram reveals funky Prada heels and glow-in-the-dark Chanel running sneakers. Two things we obviously can’t live without. Although it probably helps to have incredibly chic parents, the teen appears to make the bold choices of a seasoned fashionista.

Here are nine reasons why Lily-Rose Depp is going to take the fashion world by storm.

1. She rocks Chanel runway designs like a pro.

lily rose depp

2. And slays in couture trainers.

we love chanel

A photo posted by Lily-Rose Depp (@lilyrose_depp) on

3. She knows “going gray” is totally in.

☁️

A photo posted by Lily-Rose Depp (@lilyrose_depp) on

4. She understands that a pop of color goes a long way.



5. And that all white everything is totally chic.

<3 @walkerbunting @merifuckingmenchel <3

A photo posted by Lily-Rose Depp (@lilyrose_depp) on

6. She can maintain her balance in a pair of Prada pumps.

Tip ToeWing in my pradas…

A photo posted by Lily-Rose Depp (@lilyrose_depp) on

7. She sees the world through rose-colored glasses.

love u

A photo posted by Lily-Rose Depp (@lilyrose_depp) on




8. She follows the mantra: diamond crowns are a girl’s best friend.

photo by @walkerbunting makeup by @merifuckingmenchel

A photo posted by Lily-Rose Depp (@lilyrose_depp) on

9. She sports socks with lots of personality.

all me

A photo posted by Lily-Rose Depp (@lilyrose_depp) on


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15 Reasons You Should Never Date A Surfer

The polls are in and it seems like everyone wants to date a surfer.

Surfers are summer love all year long, after all. They chase waves for hours and laugh like little kids. The ocean is their meditation and they revel in the tides. They’re a splendid balance of free-spirited, playful animals who are also fiercely determined to achieve their personal best.

But when you look past their sun-kissed tans, perfectly tousled hair and sea salty charm, are surfers really the perfect partners? It depends.

If you’re on the fence about turning that spontaneous surfer into your steady significant other, heed our warnings below.

Below, 15 reasons you should never date a surfer.

1. You will always come in second.
That’s because the ocean is where their heart is. It’s not that they don’t love you, it’s just that they love the rush of gliding up and down a wave and tasting its salty spray more. At the end of the day, there’s only one thing on their mind and, unless the surf forecast reads “poor conditions,” it’s probably not you.

2. Their idea of dressing up is wearing pants and (if you’re lucky) a collared shirt.
For surfers, there is no “business casual,” because they’re in the business of being casual. The less clothes, the better. If you end up with a surfer, you’ll spend way too much time explaining why they can’t wear jeans and slippers to a wedding.

3. Want a surf lesson? Prepare to be left behind.
Sure, the first time they took you out surfing might’ve been romantic, but every time after that they’ll disappear and leave you alone in the white wash. When you get mad, they’ll smile and shrug: “But the waves were so good!”

4. Eventually, you’ll become a surf widow or widower.
Friend: “Why didn’t [significant other’s name] come to [important event]?”
You: “The waves were head high with offshore winds.”

5. Don’t expect to spend quality time with them at the beach.
Think that dating a surfer will lead to sweet hours cuddling on the shore together? Wrong. Surfers don’t go to the beach to stay on the sand all day. Come sunset, you’ll be busy trying to figure out which one of those dark silhouettes in the lineup is them while it gets colder and darker by the minute. At least you can watch them do what they love, right?

6. Just don’t miss any of the waves they catch…

7. Their idea of a career will be a lot different than yours.
Surfers aren’t unfocused or irresponsible, they just have a different set of priorities and getting stoked is number one on that list. Career goals? Pretty much any job that will give them more time in the water, because they know that a good day of surfing is way more rewarding than overtime on a paycheck.

8. No matter how intelligent, deep or witty you know they really are, no one in your family will take them seriously.
They didn’t stay up all night with you two on the beach, as you watched the moon reflect off the waves and compared the changing tides to the fleeting human experience. All they see is:

9. If there haven’t been waves for more than a week, prepare to deal with a lot of irritation and surf anxiety.
They literally have no idea what to do with themselves when there are no waves. It’s almost cute. Almost.

10. They’ll dress and/or act like they’re 16 years old. Forever.
You’re only as old as you feel, and surfers always feel like they’re at the beach in the middle of summer break without a care in the world.

11. They won’t stop talking about: surfing, surf contests, how much they love/hate the WSL, how much they love/hate Kelly Slater, their last wave, their friend’s last wave.
You can only pretend to be interested for so long.

12. They’ll disappear for hours on end with no heads up.
When they finally answer the phone to your fury, they’ll smile and repeat: “But the waves were so good!”

13. If there’s a swell brewing hundreds of miles away, they’ll drop everything, grab their board, and head in that direction.
Unless you are well versed in global swell trackers and surf forecasts, it will be impossible to make plans 48-hours or more ahead of time.

14. You’ll never go out on a fancy date.
But you’ll forgive this one, because a surfer’s sense of romance can be way more adventurous.

15. You’ll always break your rule of never dating a surfer.
Despite all the annoying and frustrating things you’ll have to deal with, you know that they live spontaneous, fearless, humbling and fulfilling lives — and you know you could never date anyone who doesn’t possess the spirit of a life-long surfer.


Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Reasons to Put Away Your Wolfords: The Bare-Legged Beauty of Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, and More

Beyonce

Unless you joined the polar vortex–defying rebellion of heroically bare winter legs, the first warm rays of the sunny season might be the first time that you consider trading in your tights for a dollop of supercharged body lotion. Some inspiration to put away your Wolfords: Rihanna and Beyoncé were spotted in New York City with gleaming, well-moisturized limbs that showed off the power of a good body oil, while Jeanne Damas attended the opening of the Jean Paul Gaultier retrospective in Paris with an asymmetrical gown by the designer that revealed a flash of bronzed leg. Over in Los Angeles, Kate Hudson basked in the SoCal sun with denim cutoffs, and a short-short-clad Taylor Swift reminded us of why she allegedly insured her mile-long stems in the first place. Just in time for the warm front, here are five well-toned arguments for showing a well-strategized swath of skin.

The post Reasons to Put Away Your Wolfords: The Bare-Legged Beauty of Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, and More appeared first on Vogue.

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Here Are 34 Big, Colorful Reasons To Be Sad You Missed Ultra Music Festival

Did you know Ultra Music Festival is the only one of its kind to take place right smack in the downtown area of a major U.S. city?

That’s only part of what makes the annual 3-day bash in Miami’s Bayfront Park so beautiful, so accessible, and so darn fun. Then there’s the lineup: think Skrillex, David Guetta, Armin Van Buuren, Afrojack, Avicii, Carl Cox, and more, spread out over some 7 stages.

We sent photographer Marisa Matluck to capture all the vibes, sights, and sounds last weekend, and we think you’ll agree that each of the 34 awesome images below is reason enough to be very, very sad you missed out.

“There is nothing like moving around, interacting with the crowd, and hearing a variety of music,” she told The Huffington Post. “My favorite part was actually Martin Garrix, so it was exciting for me to bump into him in the VIP and ask him for a selfie!”

Don’t worry: there’s always 2016.

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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5 Reasons Not to Judge a Dating Profile Too Harshly

With the power of online dating, it can be tempting to judge potential partners by their dating profiles alone.

Online dating is great. You get to see a person, get a feel for what they’re like, and pass an immediate judgment–is this person a potential fit as a partner? Or are they not worth your time?

Many of us browse through dozens of dating profiles before we find one we settle on as a potential match, weeding out candidates based on a bad photo or a cringe-worthy sentence. While this practice seems like it can help you select only the best of the best from the vast pool of online dating candidates, in reality you could be turning down your potential soul mate.

Here are five reasons why you shouldn’t immediately reject a person based solely on a dating profile.

1. Your dating profile isn’t perfect, either. No matter how long you’ve spent trying to perfect your online image, there are at least a few quirks that will turn people away. You wouldn’t want other people to dismiss you based on those little things, would you?

2. People write fast. Some people don’t put much effort into their dating profiles because they aren’t sure about the process. Give them a chance–they may surprise you.

3. People lie. That “perfect” profile you found was likely tweaked until it became perfect. It’s not a natural product, and some of those “perfect” sentences are less truthful than they appear. An “okay” but sincere profile may be better than a “perfect” but fake one.

4. Conversations are better to get to know someone. You can never get to know someone well through a profile alone. Only through meetings and conversations can you truly get to know somebody.

5. It’s a process. You may not even know what you want initially. What better way to get to know yourself and your dating style than to experiment with the options available to you?

So what if their dating profile isn’t perfect? If most of what they’ve written and posted seems decent enough, why not reach out to them? Start a conversation. Once you get a feel for how a person truly interacts, then you can choose whether to pursue them or move on.
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7 Reasons Why HBO Shouldn’t Cancel Looking

Looking HBO

HBO announced yesterday that it would not renew its critically acclaimed dramedy Looking, about a trio of gay male friends living in San Francisco, for a third season. Like so many undervalued series sent to the television graveyard, the show’s low ratings do not reflect its fiercely loyal fanbase. What made Looking resonate with a diverse audience—I recently overheard an elderly straight couple profess their love for Dom, while a Vogue colleague reports that his 50ish mother tunes in weekly—was the universality of its messily human ensemble.

There will be a special to wrap up Looking’s loose ends: Will the corn-fed-cute but neurotic video gamer Patrick choose soft-spoken barber Richie over his British boss-boyfriend Kevin? Does 40-something Dom find financial success as a peri-peri chicken magnate? Are ex-artist Agustín and his drily funny bearamour Eddie in it for the long haul? But these finely etched characters—maxing out their credit cards to bankroll a dream, staying at home with a joint to nurse a breakup—deserve to have their futures told episodically, in rhythm with the ups-and-downs of real life, not tied up in a neat little bow. Here are seven reasons why HBO should reconsider.

1. It’s a love letter to San Francisco that makes us all want to move there.

Not since Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City—both the 1993 miniseries and the 1978 novel that inspired it (itself adapted from a newspaper serial)—has San Francisco, in all its bud-scented glory, been so faithfully imagined on TV. While certain hallmarks—steep hills, free spirits, breathtaking views of the bay—never change, Looking’s San Francisco reflects the sociocultural shifts of a town experiencing a 21st-century gold rush. As the series’s protagonist, Patrick (played by Jonathan Groff) embodies both the old guard of gay men who flocked there to live openly, and the new guard of Silicon Valley techies, sequestered in their Ubers and Google buses, accused of taking over. Microclimates, vagrants, BDSM street fairs, and Bi-Rite Creamery fill in the shading of this on-point portrait of the city.

2. The characters’ ethnic and economic diversity doesn’t ring false.

Shows about a group of friends can veer either über-homogenous or painfully politically correct, but the men and women who populate Looking are distinct in background without their differences coming off as commentary. When race and class are discussed, it’s with the subjectivity of its characters, who espouse the prejudices particular to them (take the snobbish Cuban-American Agustín, from the affluent Miami enclave Coral Gables, dissing working-class Chicano Richie with a Spanish slur). The show’s writers aren’t above cliché, like when the deliciously sour Doris boasts of her black boyfriend Malik’s anatomical gifts in bed, but because sexuality is the cultural marker on the show, race falls to the wayside. What’s most refreshing is how casually gays and straights comingle: Patrick’s office buddy is the sardonic (and straight) Asian-American Owen, while Malik gamely dresses in drag as Cher at a gay Halloween party without batting a fake eyelash.

3. There’s an HIV-positive character, and it’s no big deal.

Looking isn’t the first cable series about gay life, but the character of Eddie, an HIV-positive youth counselor with a soft spot for Hillary Clinton and sequined flat brims, is a breakthrough for representing people living with HIV/AIDS onscreen. Eddie’s status isn’t limited to a single episode and doesn’t serve as a PSA, and instead of a lesion-covered waif, this bearded hipster (whose viral load is untraceable), is reassuringly rotund. In a bit of black comedy, he even admits to Agustín that he’ll occasionally “pull the HIV card” when he doesn’t feel like going to work. Including a positive character like Eddie (played pitch-perfect by Daniel Franzese) is also a vital reminder to millennials that HIV/AIDS didn’t disappear with the 8-track and remains a very real consequence of unprotected sex.

4. It’s a talent pool of gifted, little-known performers we wish we’d known about sooner.

In addition to Daniel Franzese, Looking has given us numerous other relative unknowns who shine in their breakout roles. Where, for example, has Lauren Weedman, the comedienne who portrays Doris, been all of our television-watching lives? The answer is, all over, according to IMDB: an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm here, a stint on True Blood there. And what about Russell Tovey, the Englishman who torments Patrick as his wandering-eyed lover Kevin? Turns out he was a regular on U.K. hits Gavin & Stacey and Him & Her. Jonathan Groff may be the marquee name from his time on Glee, but the series’s lifeblood is its supporting players. Even if Looking never returns, we can look forward to catching whatever these up-and-comers do next. (Fans of The Good Wife, rejoice: Agustín’s Frankie J. Alvarez will appear in the season finale in April.)

5. The music supervisors have excellent taste.

A show that has its characters regularly cruising bars and clubs (the premiere of season two culminated in a Molly-fueled bacchanal on the Russian River) should have watchers boogying around their living rooms on a Sunday night in January. Looking’s soundtrack—a mix of infectious dance hits (Hercules & Love Affair), underground tracks (Storm Queen), and disco anthems (Sister Sledge)—does just that. Though HBO hasn’t released an official soundtrack on iTunes, some fans have gone the DIY route, creating Spotify playlists and other platforms. Given the characters’ keeping-it-real vibe, doesn’t free Internet streaming make more sense?

6. More Scott Bakula!

Even before the season finale, Looking fans were asking, “What happened to Scott Bakula?” The actor best known as a time-traveling scientist on Quantum Leap won us over as Lynn, the silver-fox Castro florist who first meets Dom in a bathhouse before the two entered into a complicated friends-with-benefits-and-benefactors relationship. Sure, parts of Lynn’s life remain unclear—how does he afford such a swank apartment from the proceeds of a flower shop?—but even after he and Dom were no more, most of us were hoping for a Bakula resurgence. For that, he may need to call on the talents of Quantum’s Sam Beckett.

7. Sex, sex, sex

These days, explicit sex on TV is de rigueur, but the encounters on Looking nevertheless managed to shock, titillate, and inspire the occasional “Hmm . . . there’s an idea.” Most of America might be okay with gay marriage, but it’ll take a while for the mainstream to feel comfortable watching two men unzip for a quickie against a tree. While Looking’s portrayals of promiscuity risked reinforcing stereotypes, the scenes signify the sexual libertinism that gay communities have historically embraced, and which has made San Francisco a mecca for curious misfits.

The post 7 Reasons Why HBO Shouldn’t Cancel Looking appeared first on Vogue.

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6 Reasons American Women Should Stop Trying To Be Parisian

In the vast and ever-changing world of “What Is Stylish,” there are a few things that seem to be constants: black always works; brows, lips, and lashes if nothing else; and when it comes to effortless chic and undone beauty, no one is more prized or emulated than the Parisian woman.
Style – The Huffington Post
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3 Wrong Reasons for Getting Into a Relationship

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15 Possible Reasons For Zayn Leaving The One Direction Tour

15 Possible Reasons For Zayn Leaving The One Direction Tour

15 Possible Reasons For Zayn Leaving …
Zayn Malik has announced that he is stepping down from One Direction’s current tour of Asia.Here are some possible reasons why.
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10 Reasons Marriage Is Better The Second Time Around

Divorce can be so emotionally taxing, it’s enough to make you want to swear off marriage for the rest of your life.

But don’t go pledging yourself to a life of eternal singlehood just yet. We asked 10 remarried folks for their best pitch for remarriage. The points they brought up will give even the most marriage-averse divorcés second thoughts.

1. You’re not looking for someone to complete you.
“Gosh, what isn’t better about marriage the second time?! I’m older, wiser, more confident and no longer need someone to ‘complete me.’ The first time I thought, ‘If we were meant to be together, it wouldn’t be so hard.’ Now I know that it takes work, sacrifice, perseverance and a major sense of humor. My husband is my friend, a great dad and stepdad and ‘the the best husband I ever had’ as I jokingly like to remind him.

Be yourself while looking for love again. So many women change themselves into the woman they think a guy wants them to be. Be you and you’ll find the right person.” –Lisa Miller, divorced after five years, remarried for 15 years.

2. You know damn well that you can’t change your spouse.
kim grahampfeffer
“My second marriage is infinitely better because I am not looking to change my spouse (and there are no illusions that he could change me). It’s so refreshing to be in a relationship where I know who I am, he knows who he is, we accept and love each other for who we are –- faults and all.

My advice is simply to be open. Opening yourself up to dating, relationships, love and marriage again can be scary, but don’t let someone amazing pass you by out of fear.” –Kim Graham-Pfeffer, divorced after six years, remarried for two years.

3. Authenticity and honesty come a little more naturally.
“When my first marriage became irreversibly damaged, it broke something inside of each of us. It inspired months, (years, really) of self-reflection and soul searching. It made me hold up a mirror to my actions and the way I process and react to situations. It made me better. If I hadn’t had the disastrous first marriage, there’s no way I’d be as patient, sympathetic, motivated or as level-headed as I am now in my second marriage. It’s my most deep and honest relationship. That transparency has encouraged my current husband be honest about his needs as well.

If you’re hesitant to remarry, I get it. You feel foolish and embarrassed because you already took a huge leap of faith and it fell through. But take a lot of time to recuperate. Heal. Take relationships slowly and cautiously. Maybe marriage isn’t for you and that’s OK. But remember a new relationship, this new person and this new situation are different and deserve consideration.” –Amanda Sweeting, divorced after two years, remarried for less than a year.

4. Marriage #1 has changed you for the better.
rob walker
“My wife and I are both the people we want to be this time around. Life at 40 looks and feels wholly different than life in your 20s. Call it maturity, positive psychology, mindfulness or whatever you’d like, but I’ve changed for the better and I have my soulmate to enjoy life alongside.

If you’re looking to remarry, forgive yourself and forgive your ex — your failed marriage was 50 percent your doing and 50 percent your ex’s. Forgive, find inner peace and let it go. You deserve happiness, love and a second chance.” –Rob Walker, divorced after 14 years, remarried for five years.

5. You know what marriage is really like, warts and all.
“My husband and I have both been married before. Things felt different on our wedding day. This time there was no luxurious unknown and all that we carried with us — the children, the first marriages, the fears — floated in with the second vows. The air was heavy, it seemed like there was so much more to lose. But it was also brimming with the magic that comes with second chances. I guess it feels heavier because we know things the second time around. Good things and bad things. But we also know what works and what makes it better. We have grown. We made our vows to each other in the voice of the people we are, not the people we want to try to be.

Don’t lace your new promises with old regrets. Accept the weight you bring. Believe that you are stronger in the places that were broken from divorce. Keep your eyes open wide, but take the chance anyway. There is more to lose the second time, sure. But there’s so much to gain, too.” –Nicole Jankowski, divorced after 12 years, remarried for two years.

6. With age — and a tough divorce — comes great wisdom.
kristin shaw
“In the aftermath of my divorce, I had the opportunity to look very carefully at the man I chose the first time and how I had changed since I had met him ten years prior. I looked at the mistakes I made and our incompatibilities because I was determined that I would not make the same mistakes again. I know for sure that I appreciate my second husband much more because of what I went through with the first one; it was a life lesson.

Don’t give up on love. While I was going through my divorce, I created a mantra for myself that I would repeat several times a day: ‘I am beautiful. I am smart. I am successful. I will not be bitter. And I will love again.’ I wrote a careful description of the man I wanted in my life and a few months later, I met Will. He’s everything I wanted and once I figured out what it was, exactly, that I wanted, he came along.” –Kristin Shaw, divorced after four years, remarried for 8 years.

7. You realize that marriage is a choice you have to make every single day.
“A second marriage is an eyes-wide-open experience; you know what kinds of work are involved and say ‘yes’ anyway. Plus, you endured a worst-case scenario and not just survived, but thrived! A second marriage means you’ve let go of the ’perfect spouse’ ideal, embraced your imperfections and found the unique ‘must haves’ you need in a life partner.

Remember that marriage is a choice, and if you decide to give it another go, be all in. When I put my wedding rings on each morning I consciously choose my spouse. I commit to our relationship. I acknowledge that being married means I forgive past and future transgressions, and I opt to trust. My thrice-divorced mother offers this sage advice too: ‘You don’t have to marry everyone you love.'” –Penney Berryman, divorced after six years, remarried for five months after a five-year courtship.

8. You know what you want.
“You know what you’re looking for and what you can live without because of your first marriage. When I I met my second wife I was so much more confident about myself and my needs.

Divorce teaches you that you can be content by yourself and that it’s not worth going forward with something if you’re hesitant. I never thought I would marry again or have any more kids, but I met my current wife and fell madly in love with her. There is nothing I am hesitant about anymore, except being away from her for too long!”-Matt Robertson, divorced after 10 years, remarried for just over a year.

9. You’ve taken ownership of what you did wrong the first time around.
jennifer cullen
“Nobody goes into their first marriages thinking they’re going to get divorced. But it happens. So if you are brave enough to try again, marriage is only better the second time around if you learn from your earlier mistakes. Both partners are older and, hopefully, wiser. And both know what they need from each other and what to do to make the relationship work.

After I got divorced, I still believed in love and in the institution of marriage. I just wasn’t in any hurry to experience it again. I dated a bit before I started dating my husband. We were together for three years before we got married. And even with taking that time, it was a little bumpy for the first couple of years. Not between us but with the process of blending our families. But really, it’s a good thing to be a little hesitant and to not rush in to getting remarried, especially if there are kids involved.” –Jennifer Cullen, divorced after seven years, remarried for eight years.

10. You’re incredibly picky — and that’s a good thing.
“I entered into my 30s divorced, with a young son and determined to do better. I dated some men but no one felt right and I wouldn’t just let anyone into my son’s life. Eventually, two years after my divorce, I met the man I would marry. I often say that had he not come along, I’d still be single today. I look at the men I know, married and unmarried, and not one appeals to me as a spouse. I was lucky to find my very best match. My biggest complaints is that he doesn’t wipe counters, he’s a packrat and he’s often late. But guess what? He’s also wonderful father to my son and our child together. He’s considerate, kind and puts my happiness above his own.

Learn how to be live without a partner and figure what you need from your next-time partner in that time. Marriage is better the second time around. I’d like to take credit for having impeccable standards and being picky, but I was lucky my current husband walked into my life. I’ve been happy most of the days since he showed up.” –Chris Doell, divorced after nine years, remarried for 10 years.

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4 Reasons Fathers in Remarriage Walk on Eggshells

I’ve worked with thousands of step-couples* and it’s not an exaggeration to say that they are suffering (there is a 62-74 percent divorce rate in second marriages with children).

2015-03-06-1425679589-4684280-FrustratedMan.jpg

For the majority of fathers I work with, they suffer because they often feel like they’re walking on eggshells with their new partners when it comes to the topic of their children.

I’ve also found that the majority of men can’t stand conflict and would prefer to avoid it at all costs. They keep a lot of pain to themselves and that’s a shame.

So what do they worry about that is so difficult for them to talk about?

1. They worry about whether their new partner accepts and loves their kids.

Most fathers have high hopes of a “blended” family. They naturally desire that their children love their new partner and that his partner loves his children. He may find if he asks his partner if she loves his kid, an awkward silence or hesitation ensues. Love takes time to cultivate and can’t be imposed on anyone, especially those who are not biologically connected, but it’s a tough pill for many men to swallow. They want to talk about their children and they should be able to, but they often get mixed messages from their partners and are confused as to what to bring up. It becomes unsafe to talk about their children for several reasons. Either their partner doesn’t understand his kids because they aren’t the parent or because they’re more interested in talking about other things. They may be critical of his children and many fathers quietly give up and keep their thoughts about their children to themselves.

And if the truth be told, they also admit that when their partners aren’t at home when they’re with their children, they can relax. They don’t have to be looking over their shoulders to see if they are being constantly examined, inspected and judged. They can rough house more with the kids, let the chores go, eat in the family room and make as many loud noises as they want.

2. They worry about their new partners disapproving of their parenting.

Clinical experience shows that many fathers, post-divorce, become more permissive in their parenting. There are varying reasons for this, one of them being that a lot of fathers feel shame and guilt for putting their kids through divorce and not being able to provide a biologically intact family. Many get 50 percent parenting time and others much less. They don’t want to spend the precious time they have with their kids being strict and enforcing rules.

Many women don’t agree with this type of parenting and many men feel talked down to and judged about their parenting styles. A lot of men would rather just shutdown than talk about it.

3. They worry about communicating with their ex and upsetting their new partner.

Fathers communicate with their exes about the kids and find that their new partners may have problems with this communication or the amount of it. This is challenging especially given that “co-parenting” is foisted on divorced couples as the gold standard (whether this is a good idea is another topic for discussion). They have the desire or feel obligated to talk to the mother of their children and of course should be able to when it comes to the kids.

However, many women are threatened by the interactions their partner has with his ex. Some demand daily accountings. They want to know how many emails, how many texts, and how many calls have been exchanged.

Men get tired of what feels to them like interrogations and end up retreating or even lying about their interactions with the ex so as not to upset their partner or start the inevitable fight.

4. They worry about being put in the middle and disappointing both their new partner and their kids.

Fathers may feel that for a good part of their daily existence they’re not pleasing anyone. Wednesday Martin, Ph.D., author of Stepmonster says, “Dad likely fears that if he angers his ex or the kids, he won’t see them as much, and feels guilty that the kids went through a divorce.” Men also fear angering their partners.

They feel pulled by the needs of their new partners (especially if their partner doesn’t have children) and by their children. They find it tough to find a good balance and often feel overwhelmed.

Most fathers want to be both supportive partners and good parents to their children. Many of them live with a nagging fear that what they are doing isn’t enough, they aren’t enough, and at some point, their partners and their kids may have had enough of them.

This is no way to live.

The encouragement is for men to tell the truth to the women they are with. Walking on eggshells is an exhausting job. While this may seem simple enough, for many men it’s challenging to say what’s on their minds. Any partner, male or female, should be open to hearing their partner’s feelings and concerns. If their partners aren’t open to hearing them or these conversations tend to end in a fight, it’s time to pursue professional counseling with a therapist who is knowledgeable about or specializes in stepfamily issues.

• When I use the term “step-couple,” I mean a couple, where one or both have children from a previous relationship, are dating, living with or married to one another.

• Portions of this article originally appeared in Stepmom Magazine.
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