You know, when you build your next house you might want to consider using steel instead of wood.
It’s a shame you didn’t get that extended protection rider on your pest protection policy.
I’m sorry, but our worker’s compensation policy specifically excludes “killer termites.”
Do you know anyone who owns a bulldozer?
You’ll need to call the Jurassic Park people. Dinosaurs aren’t on the list of pest problems we handle.
Yeah, I realize I’m from Orkin, but I still need your phone book to call Terminix and All-Pest to come help me with this one.
I need to go back to the office to get a bigger truck.
Do you have someplace you could stay for the next three days?
Do you have a high powered rifle handy?
You wouldn’t happen to have some extra pesticides in storage around the house, would you?
“Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin…”
“The good news is… you have termites.”
“Do you happen to have a large net?”
“You know, I’m also a taxidermist.”
“Ma’am, I’m afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me.”
“FIRE IN THE HOLE!”
“This could get expensive.”
Received from You Make Me Laugh.
The Good, Clean Funnies List