You Know You Need A New Lawyer When…

– The prosecutor sees your lawyer in the hall, and they high-five each other.

– During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

– He tells you that his last good case was a “Budweiser.”

– He picks the jury by playing “duck-duck-goose.”

– During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

– Every couple of minutes he yells, “I call Jack Daniels to the stand!” and proceeds to drink a shot.

– He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.

– Just before he says “Your Honor,” he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

– Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, “Whatever.”

– He giggles every time he hears the word “briefs.”

– He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.

– He begins closing arguments with, “As Ally McBeal once said…”

Received from Clean Laffs.
The Good, Clean Funnies List