George Washington’s Thanksgiving Proclamation

[New York, 3 October 1789]

By the President of the United States of America. a Proclamation.

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to
implore his protection and favor–and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me “to recommend to the People of the
United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God
especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.”

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that
great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be–That we may then all unite in rendering
unto him our sincere and humble thanks–for his kind care and protection of the People of this Country previous to their becoming a Nation–for the
signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his Providence which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war–for
the great degree of tranquillity, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed–for the peaceable and rational manner, in which we have been enabled
to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted–for the civil and
religious liberty with which we are blessed; and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and
various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

and also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon
our national and other transgressions–to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly
and punctually–to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional
laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed–to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us)
and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord–To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the encrease of
science among them and us–and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New-York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

Go: Washington

From https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Washington/05-04-02-0091

The Good, Clean Funnies List

Thanksgiving Definitions 1 of 2

3.14 PUMPKINS: Pumpkin pi. (Joseph Leff and MsSam)

ACT OF DESERTION: What usually happens after dinner, due to a terrorist bombe. (Internet Source)

BUFFET: A French word that means, “Get up and get it yourself.” (Internet Source)

BUTTERBALL TURKEY: Someone who would rather watch a soccer match on TV than join the family for Thanksgiving dinner. (MsSam)

CALORIE: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.
(Lexicon)

CASSEROLE: Thanksgiving leftovers incognito. (Variation of a daffynition by Lexicon)

CIRCUMSPECTIVE DESSERT: Pumpkin pi. (MsSam)

FLABBERGASTED: Bewildered at your weight gain over the holidays. (Variation of an Internet Source)

FOODSTUFF: All you can eat buffet. (Charles G. Waugh)

FOWL: Four letter bird. (Variation of a statement in Art. Moger, ed., The Complete Pun Book, 1979, p. 99)

FOUL WIND: Breeze produced by a flying turkey. (Internet Source)

KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL THANKSGIVING DAY PARTY: The tur-key. (Joseph Leff)

GOBBLE: A bull that talks turkey. (Internet Source)

GOBBLERS: Found both on and around the Thanksgiving dinner table. (Internet Source)

GOBLET: A male turkey. (Internet Source)

HOLIDAY DIETERS: A word to the wides is sufficient. (Internet Source)

HOLIDAY GROCERY LIST: What you spend hours writing, then forget to take with you to the store. (Internet Source)

HOME COOKING: A place many a man thinks his wife is. (Stan Kegel)

Received from Stan Kegel.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Turkey Leftovers

Copyright 1995 W. Bruce Cameron
http://www.wbrucecameron.com

Like many men, I am different from my wife in ways, which are noticeable, and, in my opinion, fortunate.

Take the Thanksgiving turkey. (And I mean that literally. PLEASE come over to our house, open the refrigerator, shove aside everything growing green
fuzz, and take this carcass away before it reincarnates as turkey lasagna or turkey tetracycline or whatever new concoction awaits the family.) But
take Thanksgiving–my wife prefers small birds that fit nicely into the roasting pan and which can be cooked in a few hours.

“Ha!” I can be quoted as sneering. I trace my own gender lineage to that proud, hairy group of hunter-gatherers who, prior to the invention of TV
remote control, would take their spears and go pull down a huge bison for dinner, stopping at the bar on the way home for a couple of cave brews. So
when I go to the store for a turkey, I find a TURKEY: a Jurassic, many-pound fowl with drum sticks as large as my thighs and wings you could park a
car under.

Words cannot describe the delight on my wife’s face when my neighbors help me carry the bird into the refrigerator, where, following the instructions,
it is left to thaw for a period of six months. (My wife often has several interesting but impractical suggestions on where else we might stick the
turkey for this thawing procedure.) Cooking begins around Halloween, a slow roasting process which varies from my mother’s recipe in that there are no
flames or threats of divorce “if anybody says a word about how the turkey tastes.”

I enjoy every step of turkey preparation, particularly since I am not involved in any of it. Well, that’s not entirely true–at one point, I am asked
to reach into the mouth of the turkey and retrieve the giblets, which turns out to be a bag of what looks like pieces of Jimmy Hoffa. (I realize I am
not, technically speaking, putting my hand in the bird’s “mouth,” but I’d rather not dwell on what this means.) How the turkey manages to swallow this
stuff in the first place is beyond me. Traditionally, we open this bag, dump the contents into a pan of water, and boil the results. Only the cat is
happy about this development.

As wonderful as this all is, by the fourth or fifth night my appetite for turkey variations has waned, and I provide valuable feedback to my wife by
making gagging noises at dinner time. Her verbal (as opposed to projectile) response to this is to imply that it is somehow MY fault we have so many
leftovers, to which I logically reply, “hey, YOU cooked it.”

Now, before you men out there become too smug with how adroitly I out maneuvered her with my quick retort, you should be advised that she STILL blames
me for our turkey-induced bulimia. Therefore I appeal to my readership: has anyone else noticed bizarre psychiatric spousal reactions to turkey
consumption which might explain this whole controversy? Please advise via return e-mail, which will be picked up by the crack WBC technical team and,
judging by previous results, forwarded to the Governor of New Jersey.

Thanks… oh, and Happy Thanksgiving, too.

Received from Mikey’s Funnies.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Hello!

One night I woke myself up with a loud “Hello!” to someone in my dream. As the next day came and went, I thought the nocturnal outburst was mine alone
to remember.

But that night, as my wife and I were getting ready for bed, she said dryly, “If you see anyone you know tonight, just wave.”

Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Really Want Children

A priest was getting ready for a trip to Rome, and a man came to him with a request: “When you get to Rome, could you light a candle for me and my
wife? We really want children and the doctor just told us we might not be able to have any.”

The priest agreed to the request. Ten years later, he ran into the man again in a super market. With him were about twelve kids.

“Oh, this is wonderful!” said the priest. “But tell me, where’s your wife?”

“Oh, she’s gone to Rome to blow out the candle.”

Received from Star.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Loan Repayment

Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in.

While one of the robbers takes the money from the tellers, the other lines the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceeds to
take their wallets, watches, etc.

While this is going on lawyer number one jams something in lawyer number two’s hand. Without looking down, lawyer number two whispers, “What is
this?”

To which the first lawyer replies, “It’s that $ 50 I owe you.”

Received from Clean Laffs.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

A Moon Funny

Two airheads in California are sitting outside on a cool, clear evening, looking at the moon and talking.

One asks: “Which do you think is farther away … Florida or the moon?”

The other replies (with eye-roll): “Hellooooooooooo! Can you see Florida from here??”

Received from Mikey’s Funnies.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Nuts

As a receptionist in a doctor’s office, I once admitted a lady in her eighties. In going over her admission health profile, I was asking her questions
to clarify the boxes she had checked.

I got to the box where she had checked “Emotional Problems” and asked her to clarify what she had wrong.

She just sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I have had seven children. If that isn’t enough to make someone nuts, I don’t know what is.”

Received from Da Mouse Tracks.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

President Trump’s 2017 Report Card (first draft)

As we approach the holiday season there will be much debate on how President Trump has performed for his first calendar year. As a populist president, I think the best way to judge his performance is by focusing on the issues voters say are their top priorities. Pew Research polled voters to determine their political priorities for 2017. Let’s see how President Trump is doing so far on the top ten priorities according to the public.

Terrorism (76% rated top priority)

ISIS is on the run, thanks in part to President Trump’s loosening of the rules of military engagement, as well as pivoting from a Whack-a-Mole strategy to a total annihilation strategy with no withdrawal date. Both moves are good persuasion. And while President Trump’s “extreme vetting” is unpopular with many citizens, it has probably reduced risk to the homeland. And General Mattis is widely considered to be a strong hire.

     Grade: A

Economy (73% rated top priority)

I’ll give President Obama 75% credit for the strong economy. But I think consumer confidence and the stock market tell us there is optimism about the current administration. That confidence is buoyed by Trump’s reduction in regulations via executive orders, his tough talk on trade, and his persuasion toward a higher GDP that is already becoming self-fulfilling. If people believe the economy will be better next year than this year, they invest this year, thus making next year better. We might see something good come out of tax reform, but I don’t think it will matter as much as people assume.

     Grade: A

Education (69% rated top priority)

I’m not aware of any federal changes in this area that would be big enough to make a difference. But it is also unclear how much the federal government can do on an issue that is managed by the states. Unfortunately for the Trump administration, the mental anchor in our minds for education is Bernie Sanders’ idea of free college. If that’s the standard, the Trump administration is not even in the game.

     Grade: C

Jobs (68% rated top priority)

Unemployment is low. Illegal immigration is down by half. Corporations are bringing manufacturing jobs back to America, at least in part because of Trump’s direct persuasion on this point. A cut in business tax rates could improve things further.

     Grade: A

Health care costs (66% rated top priority)

President Trump offered to sign any health care bill the Republican congress could pass. They tried twice and failed twice. The public sees this as more of a problem with Congress than the presidency, and the public is right. But it is also true that the President did not fully engage his persuasion game on this topic, allowing Republicans to fail miserably. Is that bad? It depends.

I have been saying for months that the only way to get a good health care bill is by letting the Republican Congress fail a few times so they become flexible (more bipartisan) later. President Trump’s potential influence over health care will grow over time as both sides look at a failing Obamacare system and don’t want to explain their failure to voters in 2018. I’m predicting we will have health care legislation before summer, but the only way to get there is by letting both the current system and Congress continue to fail. That is happening.

President Trump did sign an executive order allowing groups to organize to purchase health care insurance. That could help, but we see nothing useful from it yet.

     Grade: Incomplete (with a progress grade of D- so far)

Social Security (60% rated top priority)

Social Security is a Congressional budget issue. But President Trump promises to keep it strong. Not much happening on this topic. But a strong economy is a good foundation for having a solid safety net, and we have that going for us.

     Grade: B

Medicare (59% rated top priority)

Medicare is a Congressional budget issue. I’ve seen nothing significant from President Trump on this topic. But again, a strong economy helps here too.

     Grade: B

Poor and needy (56% rated top priority)

A growing economy is the most effective way to help the poor and needy in the long run, and things are going well on that front. But expect Republican budgets to look “mean” to this demographic.

     Grade: C

Race relations (56% rated top priority)

President Trump is an “America First” president, and that includes treating all legal citizens the same under the law. But the optics of that approach create the impression that the administration is racist for ignoring identity politics and playing hardball with illegal immigrants. In my opinion, the Trump administration has mostly fumbled this issue from the start of the campaign until now. The anti-Trump media is probably at least 60% of the problem in terms of how people feel about this topic, but you can’t blame them for hitting lots of targets in a target-rich environment.

     Grade: F

Reducing Crime (56% rated top priority)

I haven’t noticed any improvement in this area that would be related to the federal government except for a decrease in immigration and an improvement in the economy (which I assume reduces crime, but maybe not).

     Grade: C

You might be wondering about climate change. That issue, to my surprise, is not in the top ten. Likewise, judicial nominations and several other topics I expected to be important are not in the top ten. But those omissions from the top ten probably don’t matter for this exercise because partisans would disagree on what success looks like in most of those areas. Is it a success to nominate qualified conservatives to the courts? It depends on your political affiliations. Is it a success to pull out of the Paris Climate Accord? Again, it depends on your political perspective. And that might account for why the harder-to-score issues rank outside the top ten priorities. We all know what a good economy looks like, but we would disagree on, for example, the optimal size for the military.

I submit my scorecard here as a work in progress, with probable revisions coming based on your critiques.


You might want to read the best book ever written because it also comes in an audio book.

 

 

 

The post President Trump’s 2017 Report Card (first draft) appeared first on Dilbert Blog.


Dilbert Blog

My Suggestion for a National “Dashboard” for Tracking Progress

After years of trying, I think I came up with an idea that nearly 100% of people would agree is a good one. Rare!

The idea is to create a national “dashboard” for citizens to track the progress of government. Imagine a website with a bunch of small graphs on it for each element of national interest, from gun deaths, to national debt, to stock market performance, to the number of people covered by health insurance, and more. Click any graph to see more information, including the legislation in the pipeline to address that area.

I’m imagining some semi-independent group managing the site, but the figures would mostly be generated by the government.

If you want to make something better, you have to measure where you are and how you are trending. Measurement is a base idea behind all management theory. The government already measures lots of stuff, but citizens don’t see it gathered in one place for an overall picture. And you can’t allocate resources until you see how all the topics are doing, because resources are limited. Every expenditure comes at the cost of not spending the same dollars elsewhere. A national dashboard would let everyone see the problem areas at the same time and in the same way.

I talk about this idea on Periscope here.

It might be a good idea to pre-order my new book, Win Bigly, at this special page, because you get a bonus chapter by email. You’ll like it.

image


Dilbert Blog

5 Things The US Still Doesn’t Understand About Latin America

By Gastón González Napoli  Published: November 09th, 2017 


Cracked: All Posts

How Many Lives Did Gun Control Laws Save in Las Vegas? (Answer: Probably Lots)

I’m pro-gun. I say that up front because your beliefs about my intentions will color how you see this post. My intention is to be objective. You can be the judge.

The Vegas gunman used bump stocks on semi-automatic rifles. Those were totally legal. They are also a poor choice of weapons, or so I am told by gun experts. In fact, they are so inaccurate at the distance involved in the Vegas incident that professional snipers say Paddock could have done more damage with a single-shot weapon and some aiming.

The gun experts I talked to (informally) also agree that the shooter would have killed more than a hundred additional people had he used a fully-automatic weapon. You can legally buy an automatic weapon that was made prior to 1986, for about $ 15-20K. The shooter was a millionaire, and he seemed to know a lot about guns. He would have known a fully-automatic rifle is designed to not jam the way his bump stock rifles did. He would have known they fire more bullets per second and more accurately. The death toll would have been much higher had the Vegas gunman used the right weapon.

He knew a fully automatic rifle would be more lethal than a bump stock rifle.

He was rich enough to afford the fully automatic weapon.

He had months to plan and prepare.

He was smart.

And yet he didn’t use a fully-automatic weapon in the attack.

The probable reason is that a fully-automatic weapon is harder to obtain and it raises some flags. I believe even private transactions with those weapons require some government paperwork.

I’m speculating, of course, but it seems to me that the ban on fully-automatic weapons did, over time, create enough friction for the Vegas gunman that he decided to settle for relatively worse weapons.

Ask a gun expert how many more people would be dead if automatic weapons were as easy to procure as bump stocks. My estimate of a hundred extra dead in Vegas is probably low.

Gun control apparently worked in this case, at least to an important degree. The tragedy could have been far bigger. A little bit of friction for obtaining a fully automatic weapon probably saved lives. We can’t know for sure what was in the mind of a madman, but we do know that any kind of friction causes some people to change plans. That’s probably what happened here.

My hypothesis is that crazy people will use whatever weapon is the most effective killing device they can obtain at acceptable cost (friction). Gun laws introduce friction. They are not intended to stop every type of crime or to deter every type of criminal. But it looks like they helped a bit in Vegas. Had there been no friction to procuring fully automatic weapons, it is likely the Vegas gunman would have used them. Why wouldn’t he?

If you want to read my argument for why I am pro-gun, see the end of this prior post.

It might be a good idea to pre-order my new book, Win Bigly, at this special page, because you get a bonus chapter by email. You’ll like it.

image


Dilbert Blog

Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Trump, and Norman Vincent Peale

For your Friday reading, first check out Politico’s excellent article by Michael Kruse on how the “Power of Positive Thinking” guru, Norman Vincent Peale, influenced President Trump’s approach to rewriting reality. Then see my Periscope where I tie together those thoughts and more. People on Twitter are saying it’s my best yet. You be the judge.

And remember to pre-order my book, Win Bigly, for even more on this topic including a bonus chapter about hypnosis only for the pre-order folks.

image


Dilbert Blog

Low Public Approval of President Trump Yet Unusually High Consumer Confidence. Hmmm…

How did we get to a place where The President of the United States has historically low approval at the same time we have recent highs for consumer confidence?

Almost everything President Trump does has an impact on the economy, and on consumers. That includes national security, immigration, taxes, health care, budgets, treaties, government regulations, and international relations. If the public is optimistic about the economy, that is normally the same as having confidence in the president. At least on the big-ticket items.

The types of presidential actions that have lower impact on the economy include court appointments, opinions on confederate statues, NFL kneeling, transgenders in the military, birth control funding, unpresidential tweets, poorly-executed disavowals, hyperbole that fails the fact-checking, seemingly unnecessary political attacks, and all manner of obnoxious presidential behavior. The majority of citizens disapprove of President Trump on at least some of those topics.

I don’t think we’ve ever seen something like this before. A majority of citizens disapprove of President Trump while simultaneously having confidence he’ll get most of the big stuff right and the economy will reflect it.

During the 2016 campaign, my haters mocked me mercilessly on Twitter for predicting that a candidate with insanely low approval ratings could ever get elected president of the United States. I said it wouldn’t be the problem people thought it would be. And it wasn’t. Part of the reason is that Hillary Clinton also had low ratings. But I also suspected there were so-called shy Trump supporters who held private opinions that were different from what the pollsters could suss out.

Now we see a similar situation shaping up. I don’t know whether or not President Trump will seek a second term. But if he ran for reelection today, I expect he would win by a larger margin than the first time, no matter who ran against him. To put it another way, approval ratings aren’t as predictive as you would expect. But consumer confidence is probably close to 100% predictive. Ask Bill Clinton. He’ll tell you It’s the economy, stupid.

Prior to President Trump’s inauguration day I predicted we’d see this story arc play out in the media:

Spring 2017: “Trump is Hitler!”

Summer 2017: “Okay, Trump isn’t Hitler. But he’s incompetent!”

End of year 2017: “Crap. He’s effective. But we don’t like it.”

Consumer confidence is peaking while the president’s approval rating is in the cellar. That means people expect him to be effective on the big stuff. But they don’t like him because of the other stuff.

Right on schedule.

If you read this entire blog post, you might also like my new book, Win Bigly. Pre-order at this page and get a bonus chapter by email.

image


Dilbert Blog

The North Korea Reframe

North Korea is building nukes and ICBMs to prevent the United States from attacking. Meanwhile, the United States does not want to attack North Korea. And yet we find ourselves at the brink of nuclear war while not actually having a root problem on which we disagree. They don’t want to be attacked and we don’t want to attack them. Doesn’t that seem solvable?

The problem, as I see it, is psychology more than weaponry. As long as North Korea sees the United States as a military threat, expect North Korea to keep upgrading their nuclear arsenal.

So what would it take to “reframe” the situation from two mortal enemies on the brink of war to something less dangerous?

Perhaps we should look at the same reframing strategy President Trump is using to apparent success with ISIS. The president reframed our involvement from temporary to permanent. Then he added a momentum change courtesy of General Mattis. Under President Obama, ISIS probably saw the U.S. military involvement as a temporary problem because that’s exactly how it was framed. Now they see it as permanent . . . and they observe themselves losing. The “permanent loser” frame is a different framing than before, and it might be the reason we see more surrenders. (Or we might be seeing more alleged surrenders because exaggerated reports of that type would be good persuasion too.)

At the moment, North Korea sees the economic sanctions as temporary. They also see our threats as temporary until they have full nuclear deterrent. The temporary frame is a losing frame for the United States.

On top of the temporary frame, things look personal between the U.S. and North Korea. Dignity is in the game. Ego is in the game. Those things need to be reframed out of the situation to get any kind of solution.

So consider the following reframe. Imagine depersonalizing the North Korean situation by pushing for a United Nations rule that any not-yet-fully-nuclear country building nukes and ICBMS is permanently barred from any form of global commerce. Ever. Period. And it’s not personal to North Korea. It’s just the new rule.

It’s the “ever” part, along with depersonalizing things to a generic rule that creates the new frame. In this frame, there is no winning to be had for North Korea. They can build their nukes, but only at the expense of permanent and total economic collapse, courtesy of the the rest of the world as expressed by the United Nations.

I don’t think total economic ruin of North Korea was ever a realistic strategy option until recently. But China seems to be onboard. And President Trump is unlikely to take his boot off Little Rocket Man’s tiny wallet anytime soon. I can’t imaging President Trump backing off until he gets what he wants. But we haven’t framed it as permanent. And we could, with the help of the United Nations.

Let’s call this the “I’ll just take my ball and go home” strategy. And it works best if we reduce military presence to something more obviously defensive. In this model, it’s not personal. It’s just a rule the UN agreed on.

There is great persuasive power in saying something is a general rule as opposed to a specific action against one player. It takes ego out of the game and it has a non-negotiable feel from the start.

Note: My main topic for this blog lately is persuasion. I’m not an expert on North Korea or international affairs. I don’t expect anyone to take my noodling on this topic today too seriously. If you learned something about persuasion by reading this far, that’s all I’m hoping to achieve here.

You might want to pre-order my book about practical persuasion, Win Bigly, at this link because that’s how you get a free bonus chapter by email.

image


Dilbert Blog

How to Make a Little Rocket Man Costume for Halloween

Step 1: Get yourself one of these hats.

image

Step 2: Spray-paint the tips with black paint.

Step 3: Buy a pant suit wherever-the-hell Hillary Clinton shops.

image

Step 4: Smile like you just smoked a doobie and executed a close relative.

Step 5: Nailed it!

image

You might love pre-ordering my new book, Win Bigly, because you now have a costume for Halloween.

image


Dilbert Blog

How to Know President Trump is in Your Head

President Trump tweeted this morning:

image

 

And that causes Business Insider to run this headline:

 

 

image

 

 

 

But within minutes the publication pivoted to this headline:

 

 

 

image

 

Now the headline no longer says “crooked,” as in “Crooked Hillary.”

And that’s how you know President Trump is in your head.

 

Also, Win Bigly because of all the things.


Dilbert Blog

WhenHub SAFT (Simple Agreement for Future Tokens)

Today might be one of the biggest days of my life, and it will be impossible to explain why that is so unless you know at least a little bit about blockchain, dAPPS, cryptocurrencies, Ethereum, and the legal distinction between a Simple Agreement for Future Tokens (SAFT) and an ICO.

If those words look unfamiliar, one of the biggest technical revolutions the world has ever known is sneaking up on you. The folks in Silicon Valley — who live about three years in the future compared to the rest of the country — can’t stop talking about this topic. The smartest people in the Valley tell me blockchain will change nearly everything, and already is. It’s like “the Internet” before anyone had heard of the Internet. That’s how big it is.

One small example is that startups are raising funds by creating and selling their own digital “tokens” or “coins,” using blockchain technology, that serve as the payment mechanisms within their products. The tokens have an advantage over regular money in part because you can program simple rules for them using distributed apps, or dAPPS, to add function to your product. And blockchain brings its own set of advantages I’ll mention below.

In the case of WhenHub, a dAPP will trigger an automatic payment when certain conditions are met. The effect is to eliminate billing and invoicing efforts for micro-contracts while creating a distributed record of each transaction that is impervious to manipulation.

image

                                       View Full-size Image

 

My example doesn’t get at the full power of blockchain. It’s just one of the many things it can do.

The reason people buy these digital tokens from startups is that they hope the value will rise as the startup adds customers. The tokens are artificially limited in quantity, so the value of each token increases with demand. Customers of the startup won’t notice the rise in token value because prices within the product are pegged to nominal “real money” value. In other words, if one token is worth a dollar today, but worth ten dollars tomorrow, the startup auto-adjusts the price within the product to ten-percent of a token. The customer always pays the same “real money” price even as token values rise.

Tokens can easily be exchanged for Bitcoins or cash on websites that do that sort of thing. See Bitcoin Exchanges.

The process of creating digital tokens to raise funds is called an ICO (initial coin offering) when you do it the wild-west unregulated way. If you lawyer-up in advance, jumping through lots of (expensive) hoops to minimize future regulatory risks, your lawyers will tell you to call it a Simple Agreement for Future Tokens (SAFT). A SAFT is a contract with the startup to issue you tokens if and when it is able to launch a network in which the token has utility value. That’s what WhenHub is announcing today.

To be clear, ICOs and SAFTs are not investments, nor do they give the buyer equity in the startup. But they do provide an easy way — compared to angel investing — to share in whatever success the startup experiences. With SAFTs and ICOs the startup describes its plans in a white paper so any potential token buyers can evaluate the risks. WhenHub already has several products on the market, with more coming soon, but we describe in our white paper a proposed new product that is based on our existing scheduling platform and takes advantage of blockchain. The proposed product (WhenHub Interface) is the one that will use digital tokens.

image

If you are new to this field, I hope I just gave you a toe-hold for understanding it. And I would be delighted if you share this post with friends.

Our tokens are only available in Australia, Canada, European Economic Area, Hong Kong, India, Israel, Japan, Russian Federation, Switzerland, United Kingdom and United States (excluding New York State). If you are in the United States, you need to be an Accredited Investor (meaning kinda rich) to participate. Outside the United States, regulatory restrictions are lower.

Our Pre-sale is now in progress and our Public Sale starts on Nov. 10, 2017. During the Pre-sale, the minimum purchase amount is $ 50,000 and participants get an Early Bird bonus of 30%. For the Public Sale the minimum amount is $ 250, and the the Early Bird discount starts at 20% and decreases to none in two weeks.

Here’s the executive summary from our white paper. A link to the full paper is at the end.

Executive Summary

WhenHub proposes to build a mobile app for connecting
consumers to experts of all kinds via two-way video
streams, text, audio, or in person. The app will be part
of a larger service ecosystem called the WhenHub
Interface Network (WIN) (Patent Pending).

The service will use dAPPS (distributed apps) running
on the Ethereum blockchain to create secure micro-contracts
– that can be as short as 15 minutes – as well
as to provide frictionless billing and payment service. At
the end of each micro-contract, payment in the form of
WHEN Tokens will be automatically transferred to the
expert. No paperwork or billing is involved.

Users buy WHEN Tokens using a credit card or with
Bitcoins at an online exchange via the WhenHub
Interface app. The tokens are used within the app to pay
experts for their time.

For privacy, your phone number and address are not
shared with experts.

Our partners will provide verification services on
participating experts to give consumers confidence.

No international billing and currency issues when WHEN
Tokens are involved.

Pricing for experts can be fixed or auction-based.

In the gig economy, think of this product as a “long tail”
market for expert advice. Experts of all kinds can display
their availability whenever they like, for as short a window
as 15 minutes.

The WhenHub Interface app will use the existing
commercial WhenHub API for scheduling and geofencing
features.

WhenSense is our proposed technology for allowing
third-party sites to host ads about our participating
experts’ availability and share in the income from
completed contracts. Site owners paste our HTML code
into their site to participate.

WHEN Tokens are not an investment vehicle, but
because they will be artificially limited in quantity, their
value is expected to fluctuate based on customer
demand for the WhenHub Interface app.

WHEN Tokens are now available for public purchase via
a formal offering. Visit this page for details of the
offering.


Dilbert Blog

Persuading Terrorist Cowards

After the tragic terrorist attack yesterday in NYC (where I am now), leaders were quick to say it was an act of terror and the perpetrator was a coward. Both terms are persuasion mistakes. I’ll tell you why.

Terror is what the bad guys want. If we label the outcome as terror, we give them their win, and we remind the public to stay scared.

Calling a terrorist a coward might sound like a powerful insult, but it isn’t persuasive. No terrorist views sacrificing his life for his cause as cowardly. The word bounces right off. To make an impact, you have to use a word that has at least a grain of truth from your subject’s perspective. If your words can’t get a foothold, they are not persuasive.

President Trump — who is better at persuasion than almost anyone — labels these attackers “losers.” That’s a step in the right direction. And it also features Trump’s famous engineering for future confirmation bias. Every time ISIS loses territory they are reminded they are losers. That sinks in over time. People are more influenced by the direction of things than the current state. President Trump correctly persuades to the trend, so events support the label of loser. Neither “terrorist” nor “coward” persuades to the trend.

I think we can do better.

When a would-be terrorist considers his plans, he is probably 100% convinced that paradise awaits him, virgins and all. Our best counter-persuasion would involve injecting some doubt in that belief. Eternity is a long time to spend in Hell, so you might not want to take a five-percent chance of ending up there. A rational loser might risk a five-percent chance of prison, or even a five-percent chance of dying.  But a five-percent chance of burning in Hell for eternity is a scarier proposition.

It helps (a lot) to be visual in your persuasion because we are visual creatures. If the only visuals from an attack are the aftermath and the grieving, that is probably inspiring to terrorists. So consider this visual instead.

image

Instead of featuring a Christian leader calling the perpetrator a terrorist (which sounds like a form of success) and a coward (which bounces right off them as untrue), why not have one of the first voices after an attack of this sort a moderate cleric or Islamic scholar who brands the loser as both gullible and doomed to Hell. Add some scary images, and now you’ve injected some doubt. Remember, you don’t need much doubt. Five percent doubt might be enough when you’re talking about eternity in Hell.

With any sort of persuasion you need to test multiple approaches. I won’t claim the approach I described is the best. I only claim it makes sense from a persuasion perspective whereas our current approach is shooting blanks.

I also note that the perpetrator in the NYC attack had a paint gun instead of a real gun, in a country where obtaining real guns is easy. We are not talking about a competent player here. It might help to describe him as incompetent as well as gullible. This framing also highlights the trend from spectacular attacks beginning with 9/11 to the smaller (yet tragic) attacks we are more likely to see now. That framing reinforces the trend of their losing ways. The persuasion mistake would be to harp on how this sort of attack just migrated from Europe to the United States, suggesting progress for the bad guys.

Speaking of persuasion, you might want to read my book, Win Bigly – Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don’t Matter because it just came out. Winners are reading it and giving it spectacular reviews.

image


Dilbert Blog

Win Bigly Bonus Chapter

Readers who pre-ordered my new book, Win Bigly, already got a copy of the bonus chapter that I offered with the pre-order. Now that the book is out, I thought I would include it here for the rest of you. The context is that I’m a trained hypnotist and people often ask me about the topic, so I thought I would answer the most common questions about it. This chapter is in the book, but publishing it here makes it easier to share.

For me, the biggest impact from learning hypnosis was recognizing that people are not rational creatures. We’re creatures who act irrationally and then rationalize our choices after the fact, at least for any decision involving emotion. Once you embrace this concept, the world is far easier to understand. But there are a number of other practical benefits to adding this skill to your talent stack. I’ll tell you a few below.

The Making of a Hypnotist

Hypnosis is a special form of persuasion, generally involving one hypnotist guiding one patient (or subject) toward some sort of personal improvement. You don’t need to be a trained hypnotist to be persuasive, but understanding what hypnosis can and cannot do is extraordinarily valuable. It can change your entire worldview. That’s what happened to me when I trained to be hypnotist. I once believed people use facts and reason to make decisions. When I disagreed with people, I assumed it was because I had different facts or better reasons.

That was an illusion.

The reality one learns while practicing hypnosis is that we make our decisions first – for irrational reasons – and we rationalize them later as having something to do with facts and reason. If you believe humans are fundamentally rational, you will have a hard time learning to be a hypnotist because hypnotists rely on our irrational brain wiring to persuade. The most effective politicians do the same. In this chapter, I’ll give you some background on hypnosis to show you how easily the human mind can be rewired by a skilled operator. This background will help you understand Trump’s election victory, and it might explain a lot of other mysteries in your personal and professional life.

I’ve been interested in hypnosis since I was a child. My family doctor was a hypnotist, and he hypnotized my mother to eliminate her pain when she gave birth to my sister. My mother said that although she was hypnotized – or so she claimed – she was conscious of the entire birth process and felt no discomfort. And that was without pain meds, at least according to my mom.

In hindsight, it’s not clear how much of that story was true. One of the things I’ve learned as a lifelong student of persuasion is that false memories are common. And sometimes adults don’t tell the truth. My mother was a straight shooter, so I doubt she made up the story. But I can’t be sure she remembered everything accurately, such as whether or not someone actually gave her pain meds and she forgot that part.

In any event, I bought into my mother’s story, and I vowed to someday learn this thing called hypnosis. I hoped that learning hypnosis would imbue me with some sort of superpower.

It turns out I was right.

When I was in my mid-twenties, living in San Francisco, I signed up for an evening class at the Clement School of Hypnosis. (It no longer exists.) And by “school” I mean there were about ten students learning from one professional hypnotist. If I recall, we met twice a week for about ten weeks, or something along those lines. The instructor hypnotized the class a number of times so we could experience hypnosis from the receiving side. After he taught us enough technique, we practiced on each other and – for homework – we hypnotized willing strangers and reported back on our progress.

I know you want me to teach you how to be a hypnotist. But you can’t learn it from a book. Some skills require a lot of in-person practice, and this is one of them. Part of the process of learning hypnosis involves building confidence in your skills until your subjects can sense it by your demeanor. That confidence is a key ingredient to making hypnosis work. You can build up to that confidence in a class setting, over time, in a way that I doubt anyone can get from a book. If you try a method from a book, and it doesn’t work on the first try, you’ll probably dismiss the book as a scam and stop trying. Learning hypnosis from a book might be possible, but I’ve never heard of anyone pulling it off.

Persuasion Tip 1:
Display confidence (either real or faked) to improve your persuasion. You have to believe yourself, or at least appear as if you do, in order to get anyone else to believe.

Hypnosis is largely an observational skill. Half of the process involves looking for micro-changes in the subject so you can determine whether or not the approach you are using is getting the effect you want. You can’t get good at an observational skill without lots of practice. A subject under hypnosis has a distinctive look that I doubt I could describe in words, and I’m good at describing things in words. But the look of a hypnotized subject is unmistakable once you have seen it often enough. You can’t get that sort of experience from a book. You have to observe a lot of people under hypnosis to recognize it.

I found it easy to get volunteers for hypnosis by saying I was enrolled in a hypnosis class. I doubt I could have recruited volunteers so easily by saying I was reading a book about hypnosis. The class gave me some credibility with strangers, and a hypnotist-in-training needs a lot of strangers to practice on. One of the things we learned in class is that hypnotizing friends and family doesn’t work well because you have too much history and baggage to overcome. People close to you will have trouble getting into the mindset that you suddenly have a magical new skill. Strangers are more likely to grant you the assumption of credibility, even if you are only a student of hypnosis. And you need the credibility for the hypnosis to work.

Persuasion Tip 2:
Persuasion is strongest when the messenger is credible.

One of the most confusing things about hypnosis is that the things you think it can do, it probably can’t. But the things you didn’t know it could do – such as predicting presidential outcomes – are mind-boggling.
I spoke to a number of other trained persuaders during the election. The following observation is purely anecdotal, but I don’t recall any trained persuaders thinking Clinton was a lock to win. Most predicted an outright Trump win, or at least a surprisingly close race.

You’ve probably heard of people using hypnosis to lose weight, or to stop smoking cigarettes. Hypnosis works for those methods about as well as other non-medical methods – and by that I mean it usually doesn’t work. People who go on diets usually fail no matter what method they use. People who try to stop smoking also fail more often than not. Hypnosis gets you about the same poor result as other non-medical methods.

The reason hypnosis is not a powerful tool for losing weight and quitting smoking is almost humorously simple: You don’t want to eat less and you don’t want to stop smoking. Smokers and overeaters like both of those things. That’s the whole problem. If people didn’t enjoy eating and smoking, they wouldn’t be doing those things. And hypnosis is only good for getting you what you do want. If any part of your mind doesn’t fully embrace the change you want, hypnosis might be the wrong tool.

But hypnosis can work well in situations where the subject has no objection to modifying an old behavior. For example, let’s say you want to overcome a specific type of fear. In those cases, the subject has zero desire to keep the fear. The fear provides no pleasure or other benefit. Hypnosis can work well in those situations. But you are still fighting against some sort of irrational wiring in the subject’s mind, so success is not guaranteed with hypnosis. Every brain is different, and every hypnotist is different.

The best situation for hypnosis is when there is no precondition to overcome. Preconditions in this context might include an irrational fear, a love of eating junk food, or an addiction to smoking. Those cases are hard because some part of your mind wants to keep the old behavior.

But sometimes you are working toward a change that has no precondition to overcome, and that’s the best situation. For example, if you were already a well-adjusted person and you wanted to learn how to relax more effectively, hypnosis would be a great tool. In this case, there is no objection to relaxing – the person just doesn’t have the tools to do it well. Hypnosis can provide the right tools.

It might also surprise you that a hypnotist can sometimes induce massive orgasms in a willing subject just by choosing the right words in a private setting. But that won’t work unless the hypnotist and the subject have some sort of chemistry and a shared desire for that outcome. I only know this is possible because a coworker asked me about it while I was in hypnosis school. At the time, I didn’t know if such a thing was possible. But I needed the practice, and she volunteered to be my test subject, so I gave it a try. After about one hour of hypnosis and twenty-or-so screaming orgasms – no touching involved – she declared the experiment a success. I later learned that the experiment is repeatable with the right kind of subject. That’s what I mean by “mind-boggling” power. The point of the story is that hypnosis is a powerful tool when it is working in the same direction as people’s existing urges.

You’ll be happy to know that hypnosis can’t make people do things they know to be wrong in their waking state. Or at least there are no credible stories of that happening. That makes sense to anyone who has ever been hypnotized. A hypnotized person is actually conscious and aware, but deeply relaxed. They can open their eyes and walk out the door at any time.

The public has a distorted impression of hypnosis because of movies. In a movie you can hypnotize someone to become an assassin. In real life, that’s not possible. In the movies you often see the hypnotist waving a watch or some other pendant-type object and telling you to stare at it. No trained hypnotist does that in real life. It doesn’t have a purpose.

By now you are wondering if stage hypnosis is real or just a trick. Stage hypnotists seem to make people do embarrassing things in public, and that would appear to violate what I just said about people not doing things while under hypnosis that they would object to if awake. In the case of stage hypnosis, there is a magic trick involved on top of the hypnosis. The magic trick is that you assume the people on stage think the way you think. If you would be embarrassed doing what you see them doing, you assume they feel the same. But they don’t. In any crowd of a hundred people it is easy to find several who are good subjects for hypnosis and also not easily embarrassed by public displays of silliness. The illusion for the audience is that the subjects on stage are so deeply under the hypnotist’s spell that they are acting against their own self-interest by embarrassing themselves in public. The secret to the illusion is that the only people who will go on stage in that situation are the ones that know they won’t be bothered by the experience.

Further deepening the stage hypnosis illusion is the fact that many of the subjects are introverts and wallflowers in normal life. But keep in mind that many famous performers are introverts in person and yet they have no trouble performing to large crowds. People come in all types. If the stage hypnotist has a large-enough audience, you can be sure there are some people who will be comfortable doing silly things on stage. Yes, the subjects are hypnotized. But that alone wouldn’t be enough to make an unwilling person do embarrassing things in public. The willingness has to be there from the start.

I used a hypnosis technique in the paragraph above that starts with “By now you are wondering…” The hypnosis technique involves demonstrating that I know what you are thinking at the moment you are thinking it. If I guess right, this creates a little bond between the author and the reader because it feels like I know you as well as I might know a friend. It’s like I’m in your head. That type of personal connection makes whatever I write seem more interesting to you because you naturally care more about a friend than a stranger.

Hypnotists use the same method to create a quick connection with the subject. If I tell you what you are thinking at the exact moment you are thinking it, I can create the illusion that our minds are somehow connected. And once connected, and comfortable with the connection, the subject is more likely to let the hypnotist later operate the controls.

In my example above, I know from years of experience that when I start to describe hypnosis it almost always triggers a specific question: “Is stage hypnosis real?” A non-persuader might provide the answer when asked. But as a trained persuader, I take it one step further and tell you directly that I know that question is in your head at the moment that it is. If the question is NOT in your head, you won’t even notice that I said it was. You will see my statement as nothing but an introduction to the point. But if I accurately guess that you have curiosity about stage hypnosis, and I answer your unspoken thought at the moment you have it, we form a mental bond that helps you enjoy my writing more. I use that technique to make my writing more personal and powerful. If my writing style seems different than the norm, that’s one reason why.

Persuasion Tip 3:
Guess what people are thinking – at the very moment they think it – and call it out.

If you are right, the subject bonds to you for being like-minded.

Who can be hypnotized?

I often hear people say they “can’t be hypnotized” because they tried it once and nothing happened. In my experience – which happens to match what I learned in hypnosis class – an experienced hypnotist can hypnotize anyone, so long as the subject is willing. Where the confusion comes in is that only about 20% of the public can experience what hypnotists sometimes call “the phenomena.” The phenomena describes any situation in which the subject experiences a full-blown illusion, such as seeing something that isn’t there, or feeling something that isn’t real. My mother’s experience of feeling no pain during childbirth falls into that category.

But the 80% of the public who can’t experience the phenomena can still get tremendous benefits from hypnosis. If you want to learn how to relax, how to be comfortable in a particular situation, or how to perform better at something, the only requirement is that you are willing to be hypnotized. That’s good enough for most purposes.

Non-hypnotists are often under the impression that the best subjects for hypnosis are gullible, dumb, or somehow weak-minded. We learned in hypnosis class that there is no personality trait that predicts how easily someone can be hypnotized. Anecdotally, smart people seem to be the easiest to hypnotize. My hypnosis instructor said he thought that was the case, based on experience, and I’ve noticed the same thing. If there is a correlation with intelligence, it probably has to do with the fact that smart people are less concerned that the hypnotist will turn them into an assassin or a sex slave because they know that isn’t a real risk. But as a general rule, there is no way to deduce from a person’s intelligence or personality whether that person will be an especially good subject for hypnosis. A trained hypnotist can tell rather quickly how good a subject will be as soon as the process starts, just by watching how the body reacts to suggestions. But there is generally no way to know ahead of time how good a subject will be. And the subjects themselves have no way to know as well, but they usually think they do. That’s an illusion caused by their egos. People who view themselves as strong-willed also imagine they can’t be hypnotized. Submissive personality types often assume they will be good subjects for hypnosis. But those variables are not predictive. They just feel as if they should be.

Hypnosis Superpowers

When I signed up for hypnosis class I assumed I would only use the skill I learned to perform hypnosis on willing subjects. But it turns out that the biggest benefit of learning hypnosis is what it does to your worldview, and how it influences all of your decisions from that point on. Once you see with your own eyes the power of persuasion, and how easily people can be reprogrammed, it changes everything you do.

For example, if you are familiar with my Dilbert comic strip, you might know that Dilbert has no last name. His boss has no name at all. You don’t know the name of Dilbert’s company or what industry they are in. You also don’t know their location. All of that omission is intentional. It is a trick I learned from hypnosis class. I leave out any details that would cause readers to feel they are different from the characters in the comic. If Dilbert had a last name, it might tell you something about his ancestry. If you knew for sure that Dilbert’s background differed from your own in some big way, it could be an irrational trigger to make you feel less connected. Likewise, if you knew Dilbert’s company was in a specific industry that was different from yours, you might feel less connected. By intentionally omitting those details in the design of the Dilbert comic, I make it easier for people to think Dilbert’s job is just like mine.

Persuasion Tip 4:
If you want the audience to embrace your content, leave out any detail that is both unimportant and would give people a reason to say, “That’s not me.” Design into your content enough blank spaces so people can fill them in with whatever makes them happiest.

Lying

An unexpected benefit from learning hypnosis is that I can detect lies with freaky accuracy. Liars usually have “tells,” or clues to signal deception. Some of the tells are in the form of body language and micro facial changes – the same things that a hypnotist learns to detect. Liars also use predictable patterns of language that you can pick up once you know what to look for.

For example, if someone accuses an innocent person of a crime, the accused generally responds by immediately denying the accusation and asking what is wrong with you for even asking. But the first reaction of guilty people, usually, is to ask what evidence you have. They need to know what you know so they can either double-down on the lie or confess. Liars only confess if the evidence against them is airtight.

Romance

You can’t make someone love you if the chemistry isn’t there. Hypnosis isn’t that kind of power. But if you have natural chemistry with a person, and simply want things to go as well as possible, a working knowledge of hypnosis is immensely useful.

Here I’m not talking about a formal induction, or putting someone in a so-called trance state. I’m only talking about the knowledge of human nature that you absorb by studying hypnosis. Once you understand people to be irrational 90% of the time you can give up on your old method of using reason and logic to make someone love you. Love, romance, and sex are fundamentally irrational human behaviors and it helps to see them that way.

For example, a man who thinks humans are rational creatures might try to attract a woman by being extra nice. That seems reasonable because people like nice people more than they like mean people. But seduction-wise, niceness is boring, and nice people are a dime-a-dozen. Niceness can only get you so far.

A far better seduction strategy would involve participating in any kind of coed group activities at which you happen to excel. When you display any kind of talent, it triggers other humans to want to mate with you. We’re biologically hardwired to be attracted to anything that helps the gene pool, and talent is a signal for valuable genes. So instead of being nice, focus on being talented, or attractive, or smart, or muscular, or something that suggests you have good genes.

A common misconception is that because nice guys seem to finish last, and jerky guys seem to get the women, being a jerk must have some sort of seduction advantage. It doesn’t. That’s an illusion caused by the fact that people who have OTHER advantages – such as wealth or beauty – have the freedom to act like jerks because they can attract mates no matter what. If you don’t understand what motivates people at a deep level, you might be fooled by your observation that jerks often do well in romance. If being mean were useful to getting sex, you would see ugly people doing it more often with great success. But keep your eyes open and you’ll notice that attractive people can get away with being mean, and ugly people can’t. Attractiveness is the key correlation.

The exception to this rule is something called “negging” in the language of so-called pickup artists. The idea is to say something subversively negative (negging) to a woman – but not too negative – to make her less confident. For example, the man might walk up to the woman and ask “Did you just get your hair done?” Notice that it isn’t a compliment and it isn’t an insult. But the woman will register it as a criticism because there was no compliment appended to the question. The normal structure of that question would be “Did you do something with your hair today? It looks great.” When you put the compliment in the question, you’re using the “nice” strategy that won’t get you far. When you leave out the compliment and ask if the hair is different today it suggests that perhaps you are not crazy about it. That unspoken put-down causes some women (not all, obviously) to reframe their situation as a confident male talking to a woman with some unspoken defect. That creates the illusion – or at least the possibility – that the man is a higher social rank. The perceived difference in social rank – illusion though it is – triggers attraction in the woman in this example because we are biologically wired to believe that people of higher rank probably have some sort of genetic advantage that got them there. And we want to mate with those people to pass those genes to the kids.

Personally, I have never used negging to attract a woman. By the time I learned of the concept I was already rich and successful, so I had enough perceived status that I didn’t need any tricks. You can reach your own conclusions about the ethics of negging. I’m only including it here for education and completeness.

Communicating

After taking the hypnosis class, I became interested in the broader field of persuasion in the normal world. By then I was working at a large bank that encouraged employees to take a variety of in-house classes. I took classes in negotiating, selling, marketing, listening skills, business writing, leadership, public speaking, and more. When you communicate, you are usually trying to persuade, even if you don’t see it that way. You might be trying to make someone laugh, convince someone to buy, cause someone to fall in love, or to stay in love. You might be trying to convey talent or knowledge to a professional contact. At minimum, most communication involves trying to influence people’s opinion of you, even if the content of your message is neutral. So persuasion and communication overlap quite a bit. If you learn only the tools of communication – the rules of grammar for example – and you don’t learn persuasion, your writing will be weak or, worse, you will make an enormous persuasion mistake and not know it.

A good example of an enormous persuasion mistake happened during the Republican primary debate on September 16, 2015 in Simi Valley, CA. Candidate Carly Fiorina tried to cut through the crowded field by graphically describing an alleged video of an abortion that went wrong. (I’m intentionally not describing it here. You’ll see why.) When I watched Fiorina’s bold move to capture the nation’s attention on a key topic for the Republican base, I publicly predicted that she had “self-immolated.” I called it the worst persuasion move you are likely to see in any realm. CNN’s poll put Fiorina at 15% during the week of the debate. As I predicted, she dropped to 4% one month later and was soon out of the race.

If you are not a student of persuasion, you might think Fiorina’s strategy was bold and clever. It guaranteed free attention from both the mainstream media and social media. And it positioned her as the strongest voice on a key election topic. It was unforgettable, and it matched the emotions of the Republican base. All of that sounds good.

But here’s what she got wrong. And this is more wrongness than anything you are likely to see in any realm of life, much less politics: Fiorina paired her brand with a dead baby.

I knew voters wouldn’t want to think about Fiorina’s horrible story of a dead baby for one second longer than they needed to. I doubt anyone consciously interpreted the situation as I describe it. But humans don’t make political decisions for rational reasons anyway. The Persuasion Filter

says Fiorina lost support because she polluted her brand beyond redemption by associating it with the most horrible image one could ever imagine, on live television. If you asked the voters that abandoned Fiorina to give reasons for their switch, they would probably tell you – and they would believe it to be true – that they switched candidates for rational reasons. But according to the Persuasion Filter, they would be rationalizing their irrational decisions without knowing it.

Finding a Hypnosis School

By now some of you are wondering how you can find a hypnosis school of your own. (See how I anticipated your question, or at least some people’s question?) Unfortunately, I can’t help you on this question because I only have experience with one hypnosis school and it no longer exists. If you find a hypnosis school locally, be sure to ask for references from past students. But be skeptical of the references for two reasons:

1. The school will only connect you with students they know will say good things.
2. A good hypnotist could give students the impression they got more value than they did.

But don’t worry too much about that second point. You wouldn’t want to learn hypnosis from an instructor who couldn’t persuade his own class to give him good reviews.

For more from Win Bigly, you can order it here.


Dilbert Blog

Tidy Housekeeper?

The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn’t bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed:
“Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it.”

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

6 Famous Writers Who Secretly Wrote Insane Pieces Of Trash

By Michael Hossey,Abraham Mireles,Tara Marie  Published: November 02nd, 2017 


Cracked: All Posts

Dating Again

After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to
look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and
interest, but I put off calling them.

Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife. “I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you
circled in the paper. Don’t call the one in the second column. It’s me.”

Received from Da Mouse Tracks.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

5 Crazy Memes That Went Viral (Centuries And Decades Ago)

By Rani Baker,Jacopo della Quercia,Alex Hanton,Andrea Meno  Published: November 01st, 2017 


Cracked: All Posts

Aqua-thermal Treatment

I called an old classmate and asked what he was doing.

He replied that he was working on “Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment.”

I was impressed…

Upon further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife’s supervision.

Received from Steve Sanderson.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Jogging Shoes

Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While
trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side
for?”

“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Persuading Terrorist Cowards

After the tragic terrorist attack yesterday in NYC (where I am now), leaders were quick to say it was an act of terror and the perpetrator was a coward. Both terms are persuasion mistakes. I’ll tell you why.

Terror is what the bad guys want. If we label the outcome as terror, we give them their win, and we remind the public to stay scared.

Calling a terrorist a coward might sound like a powerful insult, but it isn’t persuasive. No terrorist views sacrificing his life for his cause as cowardly. The word bounces right off. To make an impact, you have to use a word that has at least a grain of truth from your subject’s perspective. If your words can’t get a foothold, they are not persuasive.

President Trump – who is better at persuasion than almost anyone – labels these attackers “losers.” That’s a step in the right direction. And it also features Trump’s famous engineering for future confirmation bias. Every time ISIS loses territory they are reminded they are losers. That sinks in over time. People are more influenced by the direction of things than the current state. President Trump correctly persuades to the trend, so events support the label of loser. Neither “terrorist” nor “coward” persuades to the trend.

I think we can do better. 

When a would-be terrorist considers his plans, he is probably 100% convinced that paradise awaits him, virgins and all. Our best counter-persuasion would involve injecting some doubt in that belief. Eternity is a long time to spend in Hell, so you might not want to take a five-percent chance of ending up there. A rational loser might risk a five-percent chance of prison, or even a five-percent chance of dying.  But a five-percent chance of burning in Hell for eternity is a scarier proposition.

It helps (a lot) to be visual in your persuasion because we are visual creatures. If the only visuals from an attack are the aftermath and the grieving, that is probably inspiring to terrorists. So consider this visual instead.

Instead of featuring a Christian leader calling the perpetrator a terrorist (which sounds like a form of success) and a coward (which bounces right off them as untrue), why not have one of the first voices after an attack of this sort a moderate cleric or Islamic scholar who brands the loser as both gullible and doomed to Hell. Add some scary images, and now you’ve injected some doubt. Remember, you don’t need much doubt. Five percent doubt might be enough when you’re talking about eternity in Hell.

With any sort of persuasion you need to test multiple approaches. I won’t claim the approach I described is the best. I only claim it makes sense from a persuasion perspective whereas our current approach is shooting blanks.

I also note that the perpetrator in the NYC attack had a paint gun instead of a real gun, in a country where obtaining real guns is easy. We are not talking about a competent player here. It might help to describe him as incompetent as well as gullible. This framing also highlights the trend from spectacular attacks beginning with 9/11 to the smaller (yet tragic) attacks we are more likely to see now. That framing reinforces the trend of their losing ways. The persuasion mistake would be to harp on how this sort of attack just migrated from Europe to the United States, suggesting progress for the bad guys.

Speaking of persuasion, you might want to read my book, Win Bigly – Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don’t Matter because it just came out. Winners are reading it and giving it spectacular reviews. 


Scott Adams’ Blog

Trick Or Treat

The door bell, rings, and a man answers it.

Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying “Trick or Treat!”

The man asks the kids what he’s dressed up like for Halloween.

The kid says, “I’m from the government.” Then he takes 28% of the man’s candy, leaves, and doesn’t say, “Thank you.”

Received from Steve Sanderson.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Halloween Jokes (some pretty corny, some good)

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the Boos.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn’t have a haunting license.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite…

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray…

What is a vampires least favorite food?
Steak.

What do they teach in witching school?
Spelling.

How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire?
So long sucker!

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they don’t have any body to go out with…

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?
A cereal killer…

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts…

Why was there no food left after the monster’s party?
Because everybody was a-goblin!

Why was the little ghost crying?
Because he had a BOO-BOO!

What’s a Vampire’s favorite fruit?
NECKtarine!

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A Hoblin Goblin!

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts!

Why does a Mummy make a bad birthday gift?
Because he is too hard to unwrap!

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!

What is a Mummy’s favorite type of music?
Wrap!!!!!

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.

What are a ghost’s favorite kind of streets?
Dead ends.

What happens when two vampires meet?
It is love at first bite!

What do you call a little monsters parents?
Mummy and Deady.

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?
Sour-puss.

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.

Received from FranCMT2.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

WhenHub SAFT (Simple Agreement for Future Tokens)

Today might be one of the biggest days of my life, and it will be impossible to explain why that is so unless you know at least a little bit about blockchain, dAPPS, cryptocurrencies, Ethereum, and the legal distinction between a Simple Agreement for Future Tokens (SAFT) and an ICO.

If those words look unfamiliar, one of the biggest technical revolutions the world has ever known is sneaking up on you. The folks in Silicon Valley – who live about three years in the future compared to the rest of the country – can’t stop talking about this topic. The smartest people in the Valley tell me blockchain will change nearly everything, and already is. It’s like “the Internet” before anyone had heard of the Internet. That’s how big it is.

One small example is that startups are raising funds by creating and selling their own digital “tokens” or “coins,” using blockchain technology, that serve as the payment mechanisms within their products. The tokens have an advantage over regular money in part because you can program simple rules for them using distributed apps, or dAPPS, to add function to your product. And blockchain brings its own set of advantages I’ll mention below.

In the case of WhenHub, a dAPP will trigger an automatic payment when certain conditions are met. The effect is to eliminate billing and invoicing efforts for micro-contracts while creating a distributed record of each transaction that is impervious to manipulation. 

image

                                       View Full-size Image

My example doesn’t get at the full power of blockchain. It’s just one of the many things it can do. 

The reason people buy these digital tokens from startups is that they hope the value will rise as the startup adds customers. The tokens are artificially limited in quantity, so the value of each token increases with demand. Customers of the startup won’t notice the rise in token value because prices within the product are pegged to nominal “real money” value. In other words, if one token is worth a dollar today, but worth ten dollars tomorrow, the startup auto-adjusts the price within the product to ten-percent of a token. The customer always pays the same “real money” price even as token values rise. 

Tokens can easily be exchanged for Bitcoins or cash on websites that do that sort of thing. See Bitcoin Exchanges.

The process of creating digital tokens to raise funds is called an ICO (initial coin offering) when you do it the wild-west unregulated way. If you lawyer-up in advance, jumping through lots of (expensive) hoops to minimize future regulatory risks, your lawyers will tell you to call it a Simple Agreement for Future Tokens (SAFT). A SAFT is a contract with the startup to issue you tokens if and when it is able to launch a network in which the token has utility value. That’s what WhenHub is announcing today. 

To be clear, ICOs and SAFTs are not investments, nor do they give the buyer equity in the startup. But they do provide an easy way – compared to angel investing – to share in whatever success the startup experiences. With SAFTs and ICOs the startup describes its plans in a white paper so any potential token buyers can evaluate the risks. WhenHub already has several products on the market, with more coming soon, but we describe in our white paper a proposed new product that is based on our existing scheduling platform and takes advantage of blockchain. The proposed product (WhenHub Interface) is the one that will use digital tokens.

image

If you are new to this field, I hope I just gave you a toe-hold for understanding it. And I would be delighted if you share this post with friends. 

Our tokens are only available in Australia, Canada, European Economic Area, Hong Kong, India, Israel, Japan, Russian Federation, Switzerland, United Kingdom and United States (excluding New York State). If you are in the United States, you need to be an Accredited Investor (meaning kinda rich) to participate. Outside the United States, regulatory restrictions are lower.

Our Pre-sale is now in progress and our Public Sale starts on Nov. 10, 2017. During the Pre-sale, the minimum investment amount is $ 50,000 and participants get an Early Bird bonus of 30%. For the Public Sale the minimum amount is $ 250, and the the Early Bird discount starts at 20% and decreases to none in two weeks.

Here’s the executive summary from our white paper. A link to the full paper is at the end. 

Executive Summary

WhenHub proposes to build a mobile app for connecting
consumers to experts of all kinds via two-way video
streams, text, audio, or in person. The app will be part
of a larger service ecosystem called the WhenHub
Interface Network (WIN) (Patent Pending). 

The service will use dAPPS (distributed apps) running
on the Ethereum blockchain to create secure micro-contracts
– that can be as short as 15 minutes – as well
as to provide frictionless billing and payment service. At
the end of each micro-contract, payment in the form of
WHEN Tokens will be automatically transferred to the
expert. No paperwork or billing is involved. 

Users buy WHEN Tokens using a credit card or with
Bitcoins at an online exchange via the WhenHub
Interface app. The tokens are used within the app to pay
experts for their time. 

For privacy, your phone number and address are not
shared with experts. 

Our partners will provide verification services on
participating experts to give consumers confidence. 

No international billing and currency issues when WHEN
Tokens are involved. 

Pricing for experts can be fixed or auction-based. 

In the gig economy, think of this product as a “long tail”
market for expert advice. Experts of all kinds can display
their availability whenever they like, for as short a window
as 15 minutes. 

The WhenHub Interface app will use the existing
commercial WhenHub API for scheduling and geofencing
features. 

WhenSense is our proposed technology for allowing
third-party sites to host ads about our participating
experts’ availability and share in the income from
completed contracts. Site owners paste our HTML code
into their site to participate. 

WHEN Tokens are not an investment vehicle, but
because they will be artificially limited in quantity, their
value is expected to fluctuate based on customer
demand for the WhenHub Interface app. 

WHEN Tokens are now available for public purchase via
a formal offering. Visit this page for details of the
offering.


Scott Adams’ Blog

Comebacks To Unsolicited Sales Callers

Here are some suggested comebacks to unsolicited, persistent telephone sales callers:

~ “I’m sorry, but I’m really busy right now. Give me your home number and I’ll call you back later tonight.”

~ In the middle of the caller’s memorized sales pitch, interrupt with: “What causes a hiccup?”

~ “Shhh. Wait a minute. I’m here robbing the house. Whoa! I think the owners just got home. Can you hold?”

~ When someone asks whether a spouse is at home: “Yes, but I never allow him/her to talk to strangers.”

~ When someone asks how you are: “Well, I’m having an existential crisis at the moment. Let me explain . . .”

~ “You want to sell me insurance? I’ve been trying to get insurance for years, but nobody will sell me any!”

~ Another response to rug-cleaners or any person offering home services: (Break into tears and say) “Is this some kind of joke? My house burned down
last night! We lost everything!”

~ To a phone company solicitor: “That sounds GREAT! Wait, can you hold for a minute?” (Leave the phone off the hook until he/she hangs up.)

~ Use your touch-tone phone to annoy the caller by playing “Mary Had a Little Lamb”:
6-5-4-5
6-6-6
5-5-5
6-6-6.
6-5-4-5
6-6-6-6
5-5-6-5
4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4

Received from Mikey’s Funnies.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Job Opening

I went on a job interview the other day. Now I’m not really looking for another job, but it doesn’t hurt to see what’s out there. I saw a great one in
the paper with much higher pay then what I was getting. However, I wasn’t really qualified but I decided to apply anyway. A week later, I became very
excited when I was called in for an interview.

Realizing that I didn’t submit a resume when I filled out the application, I brought a copy with me to the interview. My prospective employer asked a
few questions then read through my resume. After a few anxious moments as I sat in silence waiting for him to finish reading, he put down my
resume.

He looked up at me and said, “We have an opening for someone like you.”

“Really?” I replied excitedly. “What is it?”

“It’s called the door!”

Received from Joke du Jour.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Computer Encouragement

My new data-entry assistant could often be heard offering encouragement to her computer. “You can do it, big guy!” she would say. “Good boy! Nice job,
fella.”

After one particularly lengthy pep talk, I asked, “How do you know your computer’s male?”

“Because you have to tell it what to do.”

Contributed to Reader’s Digest “All In a Day’s Work” by Debe Lomicka

Received from WITandWISDOM.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Career Path

Sidney went to a career counselor to determine what field he should enter. After extensive testing, the counselor finally gave him the results.

“Well, Sid, you are a sadistic psychopath who enjoys inflicting pain, misery and suffering on others.

You’d be a terrific golf course designer.”

Received from Joke du Jour.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Spendthrift

The minister asked, “Is there anyone in the congregation who wants a prayer said for their shortcomings?”

“Yes,” said a man in the front pew. “I am a spendthrift. I throw money around like it is growing on trees.”

“Very well,” said the pastor. “We will join in prayer for our brother — just as soon as the collection plate has been passed.”

Received from William H. Rayborn.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

How to Make a Little Rocket Man Costume for Halloween

Step 1: Get yourself one of these hats.

image

Step 2: Spray-paint the tips with black paint.

Step 3: Buy a pant suit wherever-the-hell Hillary Clinton shops.

image

Step 4: Smile like you just smoked a doobie and executed a close relative.

Step 5: Nailed it!

image

You might love pre-ordering my new book, Win Bigly, because you now have a costume for Halloween. 

image


Scott Adams’ Blog

How to Know President Trump is in Your Head

President Trump tweeted this morning:

image

And that causes Business Insider to run this headline:

image

But within minutes the publication pivoted to this headline:

image

Now the headline no longer says “crooked,” as in “Crooked Hillary.”

And that’s how you know President Trump is in your head.

Also, Win Bigly because of all the things.


Scott Adams’ Blog

Try Before You Buy

Myra was going to the office party but needed a new party dress.

In the clothing store she asked, “May I try on that dress in the window, please?”

“Certainly not, madam,'” responded the salesgirl, “You’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.”

Received from Steve Sanderson.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

The North Korea Reframe

North Korea is building nukes and ICBMs to prevent the United States from attacking. Meanwhile, the United States does not want to attack North Korea. And yet we find ourselves at the brink of nuclear war while not actually having a root problem on which we disagree. They don’t want to be attacked and we don’t want to attack them. Doesn’t that seem solvable?

The problem, as I see it, is psychology more than weaponry. As long as North Korea sees the United States as a military threat, expect North Korea to keep upgrading their nuclear arsenal.

So what would it take to “reframe” the situation from two mortal enemies on the brink of war to something less dangerous? 

Perhaps we should look at the same reframing strategy President Trump is using to apparent success with ISIS. The president reframed our involvement from temporary to permanent. Then he added a momentum change courtesy of General Mattis. Under President Obama, ISIS probably saw the U.S. military involvement as a temporary problem because that’s exactly how it was framed. Now they see it as permanent … and they observe themselves losing. The “permanent loser” frame is a different framing than before, and it might be the reason we see more surrenders. (Or we might be seeing more alleged surrenders because exaggerated reports of that type would be good persuasion too.)

At the moment, North Korea sees the economic sanctions as temporary. They also see our threats as temporary until they have full nuclear deterrent. The temporary frame is a losing frame for the United States.

On top of the temporary frame, things look personal between the U.S. and North Korea. Dignity is in the game. Ego is in the game. Those things need to be reframed out of the situation to get any kind of solution.

So consider the following reframe. Imagine depersonalizing the North Korean situation by pushing for a United Nations rule that any not-yet-fully-nuclear country building nukes and ICBMS is permanently barred from any form of global commerce. Ever. Period. And it’s not personal to North Korea. It’s just the new rule.

It’s the “ever” part, along with depersonalizing things to a generic rule that creates the new frame. In this frame, there is no winning to be had for North Korea. They can build their nukes, but only at the expense of permanent and total economic collapse, courtesy of the the rest of the world as expressed by the United Nations. 

I don’t think total economic ruin of North Korea was ever a realistic strategy option until recently. But China seems to be onboard. And President Trump is unlikely to take his boot off Little Rocket Man’s tiny wallet anytime soon. I can’t imagine President Trump backing off until he gets what he wants. But we haven’t framed it as permanent. And we could, with the help of the United Nations.

Let’s call this the “I’ll just take my ball and go home” strategy. And it works best if we reduce military presence to something more obviously defensive. In this model, it’s not personal. It’s just a rule the UN agreed on.

There is great persuasive power in saying something is a general rule as opposed to a specific action against one player. It takes ego out of the game and it has a non-negotiable feel from the start.

Note: My main topic for this blog lately is persuasion. I’m not an expert on North Korea or international affairs. I don’t expect anyone to take my noodling on this topic today too seriously. If you learned something about persuasion by reading this far, that’s all I’m hoping to achieve here.

You might want to pre-order my book about practical persuasion, Win Bigly, at this link because that’s how you get a free bonus chapter by email.

image


Scott Adams’ Blog

John Oliver Calls Out The Academy For Hypocrisy After Weinstein Decision

The “Last Week Tonight” host takes on Hollywood’s sexual harassment problem.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

John Oliver Shows Just How F**king Infuriating The Equifax Data Breach Is

It’s so, so, SO much worse than you thought.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Management Revisited

– The first myth of management is that it exists.

– Some people manage by the book, even though they don’t know who wrote the book or even what book.

– Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a “Pearl Harbor File.”

– We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.

– Management by objectives is no better than the objectives.

– “I’ve given you an unlimited budget, and you have already exceeded it!”

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Shush For A Second And Watch These Librarians Recreate A Kardashian Cover

Dewey dare say it’s better than the original?
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

The Apple

When my daughter was three, we watched Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs for the first time. The wicked queen appeared, disguised as an old lady selling
apples, and my daughter was spellbound. Then Snow White took a bite of the poisoned apple and fell to the ground unconscious.

As the apple rolled away, my daughter spoke up … “See, Mom. She doesn’t like the skin either.”

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

On ‘SNL,’ Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump Can’t Stay On Message Either

The actor rehashed the president’s distracted, headline-grabbing week during the show’s cold open sketch on Saturday.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Low Public Approval of President Trump Yet Unusually High Consumer Confidence. Hmmm…

How did we get to a place where The President of the United States has historically low approval at the same time we have recent highs for consumer confidence?

Almost everything President Trump does has an impact on the economy, and on consumers. That includes national security, immigration, taxes, health care, budgets, treaties, government regulations, and international relations. If the public is optimistic about the economy, that is normally the same as having confidence in the president. At least on the big-ticket items.

The types of presidential actions that have lower impact on the economy include court appointments, opinions on confederate statues, NFL kneeling, transgenders in the military, birth control funding, unpresidential tweets, poorly-executed disavowals, hyperbole that fails the fact-checking, seemingly unnecessary political attacks, and all manner of obnoxious presidential behavior. The majority of citizens disapprove of President Trump on at least some of those topics.

I don’t think we’ve ever seen something like this before. A majority of citizens disapprove of President Trump while simultaneously having confidence he’ll get most of the big stuff right and the economy will reflect it.

During the 2016 campaign, my haters mocked me mercilessly on Twitter for predicting that a candidate with insanely low approval ratings could ever get elected president of the United States. I said it wouldn’t be the problem people thought it would be. And it wasn’t. Part of the reason is that Hillary Clinton also had low ratings. But I also suspected there were so-called shy Trump supporters who held private opinions that were different from what the pollsters could suss out.

Now we see a similar situation shaping up. I don’t know whether or not President Trump will seek a second term. But if he ran for reelection today, I expect he would win by a larger margin than the first time, not matter who ran against him. To put it another way, approval ratings aren’t as predictive as you would expect. But consumer confidence is probably close to 100% predictive. Ask Bill Clinton. He’ll tell you It’s the economy, stupid.

Prior to President Trump’s inauguration day I predicted we’d see this story arc play out in the media:

Spring 2017: “Trump is Hitler!”

Summer 2017: “Okay, Trump isn’t Hitler. But he’s incompetent!”

End of year 2017: “Crap. He’s effective. But we don’t like it.”

Consumer confidence is peaking while the president’s approval rating is in the cellar. That means people expect him to be effective on the big stuff. But they don’t like him because of the other stuff.

Right on schedule.

If you read this entire blog post, you might also like my new book, Win Bigly. Pre-order at this page and get a bonus chapter by email.


Scott Adams’ Blog

Asian Men Are Never Featured in Porn So I Made a Comedy Video About It

As an Asian American guy, I’m basically invisible in film and TV. I’m ULTRA invisible in the world of porn.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Jimmy Kimmel Has An Ingenious Plan To Keep Donald Trump Off Twitter

…but he needs you to mail something to the president to help.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Postponed Test

One of my students could not take my college seminar final exam because of a funeral.

“No problem,” I told him. “Make it up the following week.” That week came, and again he couldn’t take the test due to another funeral.

“You’ll have to take the test early next week,” I insisted. “I can’t keep postponing it.”

“I’ll take the test next week if no one dies,” he told me.

By now I was suspicious. “How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?” I asked.

“I don’t know any of these people,” he said. “But I’m the only gravedigger in town.”

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Teen Scares The Bejesus Out Of Neighbor With Her ‘Creepy Window’

👻 😂
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

You Know You’re in a Large Urban Church When…

~ You have to ride a shuttle bus from the far end of the parking lot, or from an off-site overflow parking lot to get to the main building for a
worship service.

~ You stand in line waiting for the previous service to end and when it does, you feel as if you are swimming upstream.

~ You have attended the same church, at the same time each weekend, for the past month and have not heard the same preacher twice.

~ You wonder why there are hymn books in the pew rack that are never used.

~ Baptisms take place any time of the week in the atrium water feature.

~ You can meet with a leader of the church in the atrium coffee shop.

~ There is a 400-seat prayer chapel besides the 2000+ seat main sanctuary.

~ You have to speak with a pastor through the appropriate administrative assistant after getting past a receptionist.

~ The staff are required to wear picture ID tags.

Received from Mikey’s Funnies.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Trump, and Norman Vincent Peale

For your Friday reading, first check out Politico’s excellent article by Michael Kruse on how the “Power of Positive Thinking” guru, Norman Vincent Peale, influenced President Trump’s approach to rewriting reality. Then see my Periscope where I tie together those thoughts and more. People on Twitter are saying it’s my best yet. You be the judge.

And remember to pre-order my book, Win Bigly, for even more on this topic including a bonus chapter about hypnosis only for the pre-order folks.

image


Scott Adams’ Blog

Colbert Delivers Hardest Hitting Fake Interview With President Trump

Fake, but it feels real tbh.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Teen Attire

A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, nose ring and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, “I don’t really like to dress like this, but it keeps my
parents from dragging me everywhere with them.”

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

Randy Rainbow’s ‘Desperate Cheeto’ Crunches Donald Trump

“You’re upsetting everyone you meet-o,” Rainbow sings in this clever “Despacito” rework.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Sleeping Pills

An exhausted looking man dragged himself in to his Doctor’s office. “Doctor Kaine, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all
night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.”

“I have good news for you Howard,” Doctor Kaine said, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications.

“Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.” “Great,” said Howard, “I’ll try anything.
Let’s give it a shot.”

A few weeks later Howard, looking worse than ever. “Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!” “I don’t understand how that could be,”
said Dr. Kaine, shaking her head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!”

“That may be true,” answered Howard wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to
swallow the pill!”

Received from Doc’s Daily Chuckle.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

My Suggestion for a National “Dashboard” for Tracking Progress

After years of trying, I think I came up with an idea that nearly 100% of people would agree is a good one. Rare!

The idea is to create a national “dashboard” for citizens to track the progress of government. Imagine a website with a bunch of small graphs on it for each element of national interest, from gun deaths, to national debt, to stock market performance, to the number of people covered by health insurance, and more. Click any graph to see more information, including the legislation in the pipeline to address that area.

I’m imagining some semi-independent group managing the site, but the figures would mostly be generated by the government. 

If you want to make something better, you have to measure where you are and how you are trending. Measurement is a base idea behind all management theory. The government already measures lots of stuff, but citizens don’t see it gathered in one place for an overall picture. And you can’t allocate resources until you see how all the topics are doing, because resources are limited. Every expenditure comes at the cost of not spending the same dollars elsewhere. A national dashboard would let everyone see the problem areas at the same time and in the same way. 

I talk about this idea on Periscope here.

It might be a good idea to pre-order my new book, Win Bigly, at this special page, because you get a bonus chapter by email. You’ll like it.


Scott Adams’ Blog

Stephen Colbert Has A Brutal Response To Trump’s Latest Corker Insult

Ouch.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Wacky Newspaper Headlines

– Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

– Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter

– Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

– Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

– Drunken Drivers Paid $ 1000 in ’84

– War Dims Hope for Peace

– If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

– Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

– Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

– Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

– Deer Kill 17,000

– Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.
The Good, Clean Funnies List

How Many Lives Did Gun Control Laws Save in Las Vegas? (Answer: Probably Lots)

I’m pro-gun. I say that up front because your beliefs about my intentions will color how you see this post. My intention is to be objective. You can be the judge.

The Vegas gunman used bump stocks on semi-automatic rifles. Those were totally legal. They are also a poor choice of weapons, or so I am told by gun experts. In fact, they are so inaccurate at the distance involved in the Vegas incident that professional snipers say Paddock could have done more damage with a single-shot weapon and some aiming. 

The gun experts I talked to (informally) also agree that the shooter would have killed more than a hundred additional people had he used a fully-automatic weapon. You can legally buy an automatic weapon that was made prior to 1986, for about $ 15-20K. The shooter was a millionaire, and he seemed to know a lot about guns. He would have known a fully-automatic rifle is designed to not jam the way his bump stock rifles did. He would have known they fire more bullets per second and more accurately. The death toll would have been much higher had the Vegas gunman used the right weapon.

He knew a fully automatic rifle would be more lethal than a bump stock rifle.

He was rich enough to afford the fully automatic weapon.

He had months to plan and prepare.

He was smart.

And yet he didn’t use a fully-automatic weapon in the attack.

The probable reason is that a fully-automatic weapon is harder to obtain and it raises some flags. I believe even private transactions with those weapons require some government paperwork. 

I’m speculating, of course, but it seems to me that the ban on fully-automatic weapons did, over time, create enough friction for the Vegas gunman that he decided to settle for relatively worse weapons.

Ask a gun expert how many more people would be dead if automatic weapons were as easy to procure as bump stocks. My estimate of a hundred extra dead in Vegas is probably low. 

Gun control apparently worked in this case, at least to an important degree. The tragedy could have been far bigger. A little bit of friction for obtaining a fully automatic weapon probably saved lives. We can’t know for sure what was in the mind of a madman, but we do know that any kind of friction causes some people to change plans. That’s probably what happened here. 

My hypothesis is that crazy people will use whatever weapon is the most effective killing device they can obtain at acceptable cost (friction). Gun laws introduce friction. They are not intended to stop every type of crime or to deter every type of criminal. But it looks like they helped a bit in Vegas. Had there been no friction to procuring fully automatic weapons, it is likely the Vegas gunman would have used them. Why wouldn’t he?

If you want to read my argument for why I am pro-gun, see the end of this prior post.

It might be a good idea to pre-order my new book, Win Bigly, at this special page, because you get a bonus chapter by email. You’ll like it.

image


Scott Adams’ Blog

Seth Meyers Follows Eminem’s Lead, Gives Fans A Trump Ultimatum

“It’s time to make a decision, guys. Get off the fence,” the “Late Night” host said.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Madea Is Finally In Charge As White House Communications Director

Tyler Perry’s granny character seems like the perfect fit “to work for somebody they can’t stand.”
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Jimmy Kimmel Shuts Down Donald Trump’s IQ Boasts

The late-night host says the president should take an intelligence test on pay-per-view.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Twitter Goes To 11 With #TrumpIQSongs

“99 Problems (And Not A Right Answer On One).”
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Most Ridiculous Superhero Weaknesses: Power Girl

By J.F. Sargent,Jesse Clark,Carmen Angelica  Published: October 08th, 2017 


Cracked: All Posts

Trevor Noah And Comedian Neal Brennan Figure Out How To End The Gun Control Debate

NFL players could have this issue fixed by halftime.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Jimmy Kimmel Brings Down The House With Some Advice For Donald Trump Jr.

The feud keeps escalating.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

‘Late Night’ Writers Deliver The Perfect Response To Harvey Weinstein

The women nailed it.
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Dutch TV Comedy Perfectly Sums Up America’s Gun Problem

Are you or a loved one suffering from “nonsensical rifle addiction?”
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Donald Trump Jr.’s Attack On Jimmy Kimmel Backfires Spectacularly

BURNED!
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Jimmy Kimmel Can’t Get Enough Of Trump Freaking Out Over The Rex Tillerson Story

“I guess he’s moved on from Puerto Rico and Las Vegas.”
Comedy
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!